


Ben awakens 1: A Whole New World

by novelicerose



Series: Ben awakens [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Anything can happen - Freeform, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo gets a hug, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Han Solo Lives, Humor, Kylo and Ben bicker, Lollipops, M/M, Metafiction, Parental Discipline, Parents Han and Leia, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo endgame, Reylo slowburn?, and crazy things do happen, everyone has a darkside, family pictures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 12:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 69,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15796743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novelicerose/pseuds/novelicerose
Summary: A very silly, somewhat serious what if or AU, where Ben slowly comes back to his senses in the assault on Jakku. Basically a light-side Kylo Ren/Ben in a "rewritten" TFA. Reylo. Poe and Finn! (subtext?) Kylo/Ben POV and Rey POV. Overprotective, strict daddy Han Solo. Father son story. Lighter side of the force?





	1. The awakening

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this story first on fanfiction.net and it kept getting longer and is now in three parts (over sixty chapters). This is the first part, the shortest and it is complete. The second part is close to completion.
> 
> I wrote this part before TLJ, so TLJ reference wont start to kick in until in the next part. Even though technically in this AU TLJ doesn't happen that way, but I love TLJ too much so it will be honoured. Love everything in Star Wars.  
> Kylo Ren's " inner voice" is bolded.
> 
> I had to do something while waiting for Episode VIII and well instead of going crazy wondering about what will happen next, I decided to have a little fun with "rewriting" TFA. ;)

The loud hissing of the lowered ramp wakes him up and indicates their arrival on the desert planet of Jakku.

_**I fell asleep at wheel? I know certain someone in my family would not have liked me being so careless while flying...** _

Kylo Ren shakes his head fervently.  _ **What am I saying? I have no family. I must be tired or something...it's way past my bedtime...I mean I have worked a long shift today...it is almost morning...**_

Not that Kylo Ren ever truly slept, as then he would only be plagued with memories from a distant past. So it was more like he took a breather once in awhile, only shuts his eyes to draw strength from the dark side which had been harder and harder to do, ever since he got that mission to find that last Jedi, Luke Skywalker. The last Jedi who so unfortunately also happens to be his uncle...no, he can't think like that. Kylo Ren has no family. Ben Solo is dead...isn't he? So why does it bother him so much? That Skywalker name? Darth Vader used to be Anakin Skywalker. Used to be...so why does the Skywalker name trouble him that much?

_Or rather what would grandpa think about us hunting his son?_

Kylo Ren groans inwardly, the supposed long gone Ben Solo keeps popping up in his head and acts like some kind of conscience. He knows by an experience that he can't ignore the voice of his long dead personality for too long so he answers him in an tired voice.

_**The Jedi and Sith are sworn enemies. He did the same once...well to recruit him for the emperor not destroy him...but the supreme leader doesn't want to take any chances of the new Jedi rising.** _

_But in the end grandad, the Sith Lord saved the last Jedi. So aren't you ruining his sacrifice?_

_**I will finish what he started by bringing balance to the force.** _

_Aren't you just kidding yourself? He already did bring balance by killing the emperor, Snoke is the one messing it up._

_**The supreme leader is wise.** _

_The supreme leader is stupid. Is he even force-sensitive?_

_**You are the one who chose the dark side. You can't just back out now.** _

_Why not? Grandad did..right before his death. I don't want to wait that long. I made a mistake. This sucks. We should just take our shuttle and get the force away. We could even got to the Resistance. Mom would be so happy to see us...I mean me._

_**We don't even know where the rebel base is...that is the whole problem!** _

_We could try finding dad..._

Kylo Ren had just about had enough of this childish banter. He takes up his sword, ignites it and starts slashing the control panel viciously.

_Oh, great now we can't use our ship..._

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"Sir..."

Kylo Ren stops assaulting the innocent control panel and turns his head slowly towards Captain Phasma, who suddenly stands behind him.

_**When did she get here?! How much did she hear?** _

"What?" He asks with a frosty tone, though in truth he is more embarrassed than angry, that she had heard him screaming at the voice in his head. Thankfully she can't see how he colours under his mask.

She is more than used to his temper, but what if is she knew about his internal struggle with his conscience, about their childish fighting...what would the supreme leader say? He might never complete his training...

"We are waiting for you." Phasma continues in her formal, clipped no nonsense voice and doesn't seem to care in the slightest that her commanding officer has some voices in his head. Behind her, under the desert night sky, are rank of stormtroopers, who have rounded up surrendering villagers and penned animals are in panic. However none of this matters to Kylo Ren, who watches where an old man, Lor San Tekka, walks sadly through the village as Stormtroopers wielding flamethrowers destroy structures.

_**At last I will have the map to the last Jedi...** _

Kylo Ren only dips his helmet down to acknowledge Captain Phasma's words. He straighten himself up, turns of his lightsaber, puts on his hood and walks down the landing ramp in a whoosh of his robe, far into the night...

_**You better be quiet you damn voice...** _

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren stop before the outraged Lor San Tekka.

_Wow, he has gotten old since last time._

"Look how old you've become."

_**Wait, did I just say that outloud? And of course he has grown old, we can't stop the passage of time...stupid voice, stop making me look foolish!** _

_You don't need my help for that..._

"Something far worse has happened to you." Lor San Tekka scolds him like he's a naughty boy instead of a dark lord.

_Hah! And he doesn't even know about the voice in your...eh my head._

_**Quiet voice!** _

"You know what I've come for."

"I know where you come from. Before you called yourself Kylo Ren."

Kylo rolls his eyes under the mask.  _ **Is that old man really lecturing me? I don't have time for this...**_

"The map to Skywalker. We know you've found it, and now you're going to give it to the First Order."

_**Don't test my patience...I'm warning you.** _

"The First order rose from the darkside...you did not."

_**Did that old coot just smirk at me? Doesn't he understand how much a threat I am? Does he really think I am little Ben anymore? Well, I better show him how dangerous I truly am today.** _

"I will show you the dark side." Kylo Ren threatens.

"You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family."

"You're so right."  
_**If you are talking about Darth Vader...**_

_He is not talking about Darth Vader and you know it! Though he was also family...!_

Kylo Ren ignites his lightsaber.

_Don't kill him! He's an old friend of mom's!_

_**I don't care about that! I have killed countless of people! Why should this be any different?! Beside he is freaking annoying!** _

Despite Kylo Ren's argument, something stops him from ripping Lor San Tekka apart with his lightsaber.

And it's not because someone comes rushing into the scene, yelling no and is about to shoot at Kylo Ren with his blaster, who even though is shocked over what himself had done, or rather not done, stops the attacker easily with the force, with his sabre free hand, without even looking at him.

_**What happened?** _

Kylo Ren looks at his hand with lightsaber still ignited, that suddenly feels as if it weighs a ton. He can't lift it up.

_**Was it always this heavy?** _

He can hear the surprise all round him. The old man who taunted him so much, looks bewildered over having not been killed but also relieved to be still alive.

_**Okay, I can still save face. I don't need my lightsabre to strike terror. I can force choke him! Yes, just like grandad and since I used the force before easily...yeah my other hand must have fallen asleep. How embarrassing...** _

Kylo Ren looks to his side and see that his attacker, who is a dark haired young man in a pilot jacket, is still suspended in mid-air.

_**Do I let him go? Wouldn't that send the wrong message? But I need that hand to force choke, since my other hand is not working anymore...maybe I should just force choke that man and be done with him first. Yeah! That should show them, that should teach them to fear me!** _

Kylo Ren focus alls his dark energy into his hand, ready to force choke the man who had dared to attack him while he was about to execute that annoying old man. Or that was his plan. However, it doesn't matter how much dark side energy he tries to summon. Nothing comes out.

_**What the? Am I drained of the dark side? Can that happen? Am I a well or something? No wait...now I understand everything. Ben, are you trying to stop me?!** _

_I am doing much better than trying..._

_**Stop this, this is futile. You will never get back. You are lost forever. You are hindering the great plan for the galaxy. Stop acting like a homesick child...** _

"Sir...? Are you alright?" Captain Phasma has a worried tone like a...mother.

_**Can the master of the knights of Ren get a sick day?** _

Kylo has no idea how to explain anything of this, so he wordlessly turn off his lightsaber and puts it back in his hilt. He also lets his attacker drop, who oofs when landing on the desert ground, on his way to his ship. The only thing he wants to do now is to get back to his shuttle and destroy some more control panels or maybe just weep over what a horrible night this has been...

"Sir, what about the villagers?" Captain Phasma calls after him.

"Do what you want with them."

_**I don't care.** _

_Well, I care...!_

"On my command!" Captain Phasma gives the order in a cold voice, erupting shrieks from all the villagers when the blasters are made ready .

With his back turned, Kylo Ren doesn't see the slaughter that is about occur, but he can hear and feel the panic from the villagers and for the first time in a long time, the screams of despair cuts right into his soul. The first ray of the morning sun breaks through the night.

_No, stop. I don't want this!_

* * *

 

"Wait!" He stops on his way to his shuttle.

"Wait? Wait for what sir?" Captain Phasma's usual cold voice has a hint of a surprise.

_**Wait, what? Why did I yell stop?** _

Kylo Ren turns to her, ready to give her the command to go on and kill the villagers when he feels a tremendous headache coming on. He grabs his head and kneels on the desert sand in pure agony.

"Sir, do you have a headache? Do you need an aspirin?"

"Stop...talking like my mother!" Kylo yells at her.

This causes even greater confusion for all the spectators.

"Sorry sir...only trying to help." She says in a hurt voice.

_**What's happening to me? I must get to my ship...out of this...this chaos to regain my senses...** _

As Kylo stumbles to his feet, he is met with a sight of a panicky stormtrooper standing in line with other stormtroopers, waiting for Phasma's command or his to shoot. His helmet has a bloody handprint after a fallen comrade from when they invaded Jakku this night. Kylo sees through the force, that this is his first time on the battlefield and what is more, that he doesn't intend to fire at the villagers. No, that stormtrooper, FN2187 is afraid to be there and wants to get the hell away from the First Order at the first possible chance.

_**As it is his first time, it explains his pathetic feelings but not what is happening to me...** _

They lock eyes together, his eyes of the mask and the eyes of the mask of a stormtrooper. Kylo can instantly feel the panic elevate higher in the stormtrooper after noticing his stare. His feelings, so strongly felt in the force, says I'm dead now and for a moment Kylo is half-tempted to take of his helmet to show him his human side to...calm him down.

_**What the...is happening to me?** _

Kylo doesn't get any answers to his question, as Ben the voice, has fallen deadly silent for the first time. For some reason he pulls down his hood and sends a calming wave through the force to the uncomfortable trooper.

 _ **I'm lost too..**_ _._ He admits to himself, as he no longer seems to be able to control his actions or words.

They instantly make some connection through the force, "I will help you if you help me", and finally Kylo can start to formulate some plan.

_**I need some...new allies...for whatever I'm going through...** _

"FN2187."

The stormtrooper wants to yelp in fright over the simple fact that Kylo Ren is talking to him but instead, probably thanks to the calming wave from the force earlier, he says hesitantly. "Yes...sir?"

"I need your help."

"My help..sir?" The trooper is surprised, but no more than Kylo himself who didn't even say these things outloud, however Kylo has decided not to overthink things anymore.

_**Besides, everything is as the force wills...** _

Captain Phasma only stares at her commanding officer in confusion but doesn't say anything to object, though Kylo feels that she desperately wants to yell at him for not making any sense. All the other troopers feel the same way and even the captured villagers want to yell at him to get on with it!

"Yes, your help...I need to get away from this planet."

_**What...I did not say that! But it's true that my ship is broken...** _

_And whose fault is that?_

Is what Kylo Ren is expecting Ben to retort, but there is only silence.

_**Strange, something is controlling my movements and words...but Ben seems to have disappeared for good...** _

Now the trooper looks truly lost.

"To the starkiller base, sir?" The trooper looks at the countless ships behind them, not understanding the problem.

Kylo unclasp and lifts his helmet, revealing his true face for the first time. "No, this time I'm going home."

 

* * *

 

"Home, sir...?" A foreign concept to the trooper who had been snatched from his family at birth and trained for the First order.

Kylo doesn't elaborate any further what he means, as he has no clue himself what's he is talking about.

_**Home? What the...I'm talking about? And why did I take of my helmet?!** _

All of a sudden he raises his arm and uses the force to take away all the blasters from the troopers and Captain Phasma. He throws them high into the air, turning them into small black dots in the dusk, till they end up far away in the desert beyond.

All the troopers turn to him shock, even FN2187. The villagers blink surprised, as they have long since lost the plot. Only Lor San Tekka looks at him curiously.

_**Okay, I did not mean to do that!** _

"Sir!" Captain Phasma gives an audible gasp. "Have you lost your mind?" She puts her hands on the hip in a stern manner.

_**Yes! I don't know what's happening!** _

"I have a name. It's Ben."

"What?" Captain Phasma shouts bewildered like that fact is the least thing from her mind or maybe she just doesn't like his real name...

 _ **Wait...what?! When did you take the wheel?**_ Suddenly everything, he had done these last minutes made sense to Kylo.

Ben had hidden himself and slowly taken over again, though thankfully not completely or Kylo Ren wouldn't exist anymore.

 _ **Why you...**_ but as Ben is no longer using his anger or at least not pure hatred to draw strength from, the voice of Kylo Ren slowly drowns out in his mind.

The last traces of the darkness of the night change into morning, the precious sunlight floods over the scene, over the disarmed troopers and the freed villagers, who are all in state of shock, while Ben himself feels oddly invigorated after having taking control again. The tiredness he had felt all night is all gone from his limbs and head and in fact it feels like he had been asleep this whole time and that he's finally awake. At last he see things clearly. He knows what he has to do.

"I'm done with the First Order." Ben ignites his saber, startling Captain Phasma even further and the troopers. He looks at FN2187. "Except you."

"Me?" FN2187, does not like the sound of that.

"Yes, you want to get away from the First Order as well, right?"

Captain Phasma glares at her trooper. "Is that true...FN2187?"

FN2187 looks from her to Ben and back again, like he's watching a tennis match. "Uuuuh..."

"You don't have to be afraid of her. Come here, I will protect you." Ben cocks his head to side.

FN2187 only have to been told that once, as he runs behind Ben's back, cowering in fear.

"So it's...treason then?" Captain Phasma asks in her cold voice through the vocoder, but Ben feels that she's on the verge of crying.

Ben ignites his lightsaber and walks threatenly over to Captain Phasma who backs away, all the way into a transporter.

"Retreat, we can't fight him." Captain Phasma says, meaning not without the other knights of Ren. Ben can feel her glare through the mask. "The supreme leader will hear about this."

He glares back at her. "I'm not afraid of him."

The ramp closes after all the stormtrooper have fled and the transporters fly away.

The true ramifications of what he had done finally sinks in.

_I just made an enemy out of the entire First Order...I'm so screwed!_

Gun cocking sounds can be heard all around him.

FN2187, who is unarmed after Ben send his blaster flying into the sky, yelps in fright like a little girl.

_And I'm not that welcome here either..._

_Next up: The adventure begins..._


	2. The adventure begins

 

"Wait, hold your fire."

It is Lor San Tekka who comes to their rescue.

The villagers look doubtful but do as he says.

The old explorer walks over to Ben, inspecting him like he is truly seeing him for the first time. "Why did you help us?"

"Lor San Tekka, he still has his lightsaber!" Someone from the village screams like the old man is walking straight into a deathtrap.

Lor San Tekka ignores the warning and stands before Ben who shrugs, turns of his lightsaber and puts it back into his hilt. "It was the right thing to do."

Even though Ben himself is technically unarmed, the villagers do not put down their weapons but he can feel how their tension levels drop down tremendously.

That can not been said about his new ally, the defected trooper, as they are still in a firing range, and the fact that it did not calm him in any way down that Ben unarmed himself rather it made him more scared if anything. So the trooper trembles behind his back like a leaf in a desert storm.

"What made you change your mind?" Lor San Tekka keeps interrogating Ben, who sighs tiredly and looks at him with a puppy eyes, longingly like he wants to go back to the farm where he grew up on. "I just want to go back home."

If the villagers were confused before that is nothing compare to how they feel now. They murmur and whisper in loud voices.

"Kylo Ren is homesick?"

"Does he even have a home?"

"No, this not Kylo Ren." Lor San Tekka tits his head to side. "Is Kylo Ren gone?"

"Yes."

_**No, I am far from gone. You may have won this battle but I will win the war. You shall see.** _

 

* * *

 

"Gone? He's right there." The villagers keep on murmuring while they lower their weapons.

"Is Lor San Tekka becoming senile?"

Ben is sick of this nonsense, as this is getting him nowhere. His eyes meet the ones of the young pilot that tried to shoot him before. The pilot looks to be the one not trusting him the most, judging by his scowling face and the way that he points the blaster at him.

Thanks to the force, Ben knows that man is part of the resistance.

_Great...the guy who hates me the most of all the crowd...but that was to be inspected. I'm not really that popular with resistance.._

_He is my ticket out of here, not the cheapest one and certainly the hardest one to get...but also the only one._

"You, take me to the resistance." Ben points at the pilot, mustering every bit of courage and command technique he knows to ask him...

The pilot becomes livened. "My name is not you! It's Poe Dameron and I don't trust you one bit."

_Poe Dameron...the best pilot of the resistance. My luck just turned...that is if I can somehow convince him to help me._

FN2187 gets more confused as the things unfold. He asks, where he is still hiding behind his back. "The resistance...sir, I thought you were going home..."

Ben turns to the trooper. "The general is my mother."

"Oh and so what? Do you want to go back to mommy?" Poe scoffs.  
Ben turns back to him. "Yes."

Poe and the others seems to be taken a little aback by the sincerity of his answer. Lor San Tekka only smiles knowingly and strokes his beard, like this had been his plan along.

_Damn old coot...he was right about me..._

"But most of all I want to deliver that map to her. Where is the map?"

"I gave it to him." Lor San Tekka indicates the pilot who can't possibly hate Ben more than he already does and stand beside him with crossed arms and a fierce glare, that reminds Ben of certain someone in his family...or two certain someones...that Ben will have to face sooner or later...at least one of them...

 _I can worry about that meeting later.._. _this is now. Okay...so now I have two favours to asks of him...I could try to ask for it nicely instead of commanding him...yeah, that could work..._

"You...eh Poe...purr...per...please give me the map."

_I haven't had to say please in a very...long time..._

For a moment Poe seems to want to laugh at his failed attempt to do what even children know how to do perfectly. But just as quickly as the grin is about to appear, it disappears in rage, far more fitting of a darkside user then a rebel fighting for justice.

"And why should I give to you?! You want to destroy the last Jedi!" Poe spits in his eyes, just in case Ben was getting the wrong idea that there was a tiny bit inside Poe that was starting to like him.

Ben clenches his teeth and wipes his eyes with his long sleeve.

_Don't kill him...don't kill him...calm down...damn that Poe is dense...but I can understand that he does not trust me right off the bat..._

"No, that was Snoke's stupid idea. I don't answer to him any longer."

Everyone gasp over the fact that he didn't call him supreme leader and to the boot, stupid and also the fact the he hadn't sliced Poe in half after having spit on him, in the eyes no less. Even Poe seems to be shocked to be alive and stares at Ben, like he's not one of the worst person alive but maybe someone a bit more tolerable.

_Perhaps, he is finally realizing I'm not evil anymore...I hope..._

"So you have truly defected from the First Order?" Lor San Tekka asks, the only one in village beside Poe who dares to talk to him directly.

"Yes, I have."

_Truly? I saved the villagers from execution, disarmed the troopers and made a commanding officer flee...what more to do you want from me?_

"This is not just a trick...?" Lor San Tekka asks warily, like he thinks this all one magic trick, ending with Ben going up in smoke and Kylo Ren appearing again and cutting him and Poe in half.

"No." Ben hope that is enough. He has no idea what he can do more to get his trust except maybe break his lightsaber in half but of course he would never do that...

To Ben's great relief, Lor San Tekka only smiles and says:"Your mother will be so pleased."

Ben could only nod to that.

_That's why I'm doing it._

All the villagers have starting to relax a bit, making Poe, the pointal dark-side user if he is force sensitive to be the only one, still not trusting Ben, even though he had mercifully spared his life...twice, counting when Poe tried to shoot him for attempting to kill Lor San Tekka.

Poe walks over to Ben in strides, with his blaster aloft. "You...You can't just waltz into the resistance base and expect no consequences. I will have to take you prisoner!"

_He attacked me twice, still lives and still does not trust me...those rebel...scum are so damn stubborn in their rightfulness...everything is so black and white to them, no grey area..._

Lor San Tekka raises his hand between the blaster and Ben and shakes his head disapprovingly. "The general wouldn't want that."

"I...he's a notorious war criminal...not some cuddly...teddy bear!" Poe yells in frustration. "Has everyone forgot that?!"

_From a war criminal to a teddy bear is a bit too much of a stretch...does this guy not have any middle ground in anything? Sure I was darkside once, but not completely and now I'm lightside but not..._

"No, that was Kylo Ren. This is Ben Solo." Lor San Tekka says in a tired teacher-like voice, like someone who has tried explaining the same thing, over and over again.

Poe can't believe his own ears over this absurd logic. He shakes his head like he's in some weird dream. He blinks, when one thing seems to grab his attention specially. "Wait, Solo...is your dad...?"

"Don't remind me." Ben snaps at Poe, finally giving a tiny bit into the anger he has been feeling against him this entire time. And when he gives into anger, Kylo appears again, though only in his head.

_**Yet, you have acted with the same bravado like him this entire time. He would've been so proud...** _

_Shut up!_

_**I doubt he will be as forgiving as your "dearest mother."** _

_I don't plan on meeting him._

_**Good, as he will undoubtedly "kill" you for all the unnecessary grievance you have cost your mother.** _

"Where is that map, Poe? I am not returning without the map!" Ben keeps snapping at Poe, who blinks in surprise over his sudden mood change.

_**You think that will make up for everything, do you? You think your mother will open her arms for you and everything will be forgotten? You're delusional. You life in a dream world.** _

Poe looks in disbelief at Lor San Tekka who says in encouraging voice. "Go on, tell him."

At last Poe admits defeat. He sighs. "It's in a white and orange BB unit. One of its kind."

"And what is that unique droid called?"

"BB-8"

"How original."

"Like you can talk, Ben...Kylo Ren."

_It was Snoke not me! I wanted to be called Darth Grandson or Darth Ben! At least Darth, like grandpa, otherwise what's the point! But no Snoke didn't allow me..._

_**That was kinda jerkish of him. I see that now...** _

"Where is BB-8?" Ben looks around for the droid.

When Poe doesn't answer him, Ben asks again in a harsher voice. "Where...is it?"

Poe shrugs off handly. "I sent him away."

_Away...?_

Ben looks around the village, till his eyes are looking over the horizon, into the burning hot desert.

_No! It can't be!_

 

* * *

 

"So what you are telling him is...that it's somewhere...out there...in this endless vast desert?!" Ben points disbelieving into the desert.

_**No...really? So this won't be as easy as you thought? You poor baby...** _

"Poe, why did you send it away?" Lor San Tekka rebukes him.

"Hey! How was I supposed to know that Kylo Ren here would turn out to be a boy scout?"

"I'm not Kylo Ren."

Poe grind his teeth. "Fine, Ben...but you are dressed like him."

Ben shrugs. "I happen to like black."

Poe shakes his head. "You're impossible."

FN2187, who has kept quiet so far, points at himself in realisation. "Hey, so that was why you chose me?"

Ben turns from Poe to the trooper, not seeing anything black about the white armour but he doesn't comment on that. "No, I would have chosen you anyway."

_You wanted to get away too..._

"Thank you..umm, sir."

Ben picks up the argument with the insufferable pilot. "Then we must search the desert until we find it."

"Wait we? It's my droid. You can just go on our own to the resistance. I think it's wonderful to stroll through the desert in that black attire..."

"Stop saying black!" FN2187 yells desperately, like a little kid who wants get his parents to stop fighting.

"Why?" Poe lifts his eyebrows in question.

"It confuses me...or something. I'm not used to not wearing a helmet and be recognisable...I think..."

Ben knock on his helmet. "You're still wearing it."

FN2187 jumps up. "Oh...I...you are the one not wearing helmet...sorry got confused...everything is so confusing."

_**Indeed it is...** _

"Take off your helmet." Poe says, not commanding but more in a curious voice.

"I'm allowed to...sir?" FN2187 turns to Ben, who just nods.

The trooper slowly removes his helmet, like it's a holy ritual instead of something done each day after work. He reveals his young, sweaty dark skinned face and dark hair, flattened after the helmet, a stark contrast from the white but dirty stormtrooper armour.

"Hey, you're much cuter than I thought!" Poe blinks him teasingly.

"Uh...thanks..I guess." FN2187 looks to Ben for help who only shrugs.

_That pilot probably flirts with everything..._

Poe looks sharply at Ben and points rudely at him. "But you! You can do whatever the hell you want, as long it's far away from me!"

"I'm not leaving without that map!" Ben shouts in commanding voice, that would make Darth Vader proud. Or at least he hope so and it didn't sound whiney. He wasn't used to order people around without his mask...

_Wait...why do I still care about what Darth Vader thinks?_

_**He was cool.** _

_Yeah, he was...despite all the killing..._

_**The killing made him cool.** _

_I don't agree with that..._

_**You never agree with me anymore..** _

_Are you really crying?_

_**No...!** _

"Poe, you better give up." Lor San Tekka scowls at him, like Poe is the one making trouble for everyone but not Ben.

"Okay, fine. I hope my X-wing will be able to be repaired or there will be hell to pay!" Poe jumps to his x-wing and checks the damage out. He tisks in annoyance when he sees the smoke coming from the engine, no doubt after the blaster shots from the invading troopers before.

"You can always find a new ship..." Ben rolls his eyes over the drama.

Poe turns to him with a frown. "I am going on my x-wing or we will walk...You can't really talk, your ship is still over there." He points in envy at this command shuttle, the only ship left from the First Order in the area.

Ben looks to his ship and back to Poe. "It may have been broken..."

Poe lifts an eyebrow.

"By me..." Ben shamefully admits and turns away from him, so he can't see him blush.

_Or rather Kylo Ren...I don't do things like that..._

_**It was still your fault...for pissing me off! You are still doing it!** _

"Figures. And what about you, are you also coming with us? There are only two seats in my x-wing and I would prefer you waaay over him." Poe starts repairing his x-wing while occasionally casting a glance to the now helmetless trooper.

"Me?" The trooper points at himself, he looks at his helmet in his hand, hands it over to Ben, possibly for safe keeping and walks over to Poe. "I guess so...yes...I'm coming with you...I think..."

Poe looks up from his repairing. "So you are not taking your orders from him?" Poe points at Ben, like he's some dirt under his shoes instead of a human being with feelings.

"I..I don't know...sir?" FN2187 looks once more for help from Ben.

_**He probably doesn't even know who you are any more...do you know who you are?** _

Ben just stares at the two helmets in his hands. He throws the trooper one the ground but keeps his own.

_It could be useful later on..._

FN2187 is still waiting for answer from him but Poe answers instead while wiping sweat of his brow: "Well, I say you're not! You're free now! What's your name?" He wipes his oily hands on a handkerchief before giving him a handshake.

"FN2187."

"Wow, that's a handful, I'm gonna call you...Finn." Poe smiles and puts a hand on his the shoulder.

"F-N...Finn...?" Ben scoffs.

"Shut up." Poe snaps at him.

"Finn, I like it." Finn smiles happily.

"Welcome aboard kid." Poe puts forth his fist and they fistbumb.

Finn then turns to Ben with a smile, ready to give him a fistbumb as well. Poe however looks annoyed that Finn is replicating his gesture with his former enemy.

Ben is startled over the camaraderie shown by his former trooper. He hesitates for a minute but then he gives him a fistbumb, with his helmet free hand as well.

_I'm finally going home..._

Ben smiles for the first time in years.

_Or at least...this will be one hell of an adventure..._

 

_Next up: Meeting Rey._


	3. A mother (always) knows best

 

Thanks to Poe's insistence on using his broken x-wing, never mind the fact Ben has already borrowed another shuttle and is going to use that one, they have to wait for the stubborn pilot to fix his ship before they can begin the search for Poe's droid that is harboring the map.

While he and Finn wait for Poe to finish repairing, Lor San Tekka invite them to his hut and Ben is relieved to get away from the prying eyes of the villagers who are hard at work rebuilding the village after having put out all the fire and they stare after him like they are dreaming. He can hardly blame them as he still can't believe what he had done or rather was capable of doing, casting Kylo Ren to the back of his mind into the shadows where he belongs.

Finn takes a nap in the back of the hut and doesn't even bother to take off his armor, as the excitement from the battle and big changes have really wore him out. Ben thinks it is a wise call, the nap not sleeping in the heavy armor, as they have no idea how long time that search will take. However, Ben also knows it is too risky for him to sleep,for two reasons, one they aren't out of danger yet and two, he can't trust Kylo Ren not to use the opportunity and take control again.

As Ben doesn't go to sleep, he sits cross-legged on the hard floor and has to settle for Lor San Tekka staring at him with his annoying I know everything smile, he remembers somewhat from the past.

_**KR: You are perfectly safe to sleep...I would never take over like that. You were the one who took control...and made everything a mess.** _

_I don't trust you...and why is everything so familiar here?_

_**KR: You really don't remember?** _

The old man gives him some strange familiar unappetising stew in a bowl and then to make matters worse, he draws a com-link from his pocket and buzzes it.

" _General?"_

" _Yes? Did you give Poe the map?"_

Ben's heart nearly stops when he recognizes his mother's voice. He coughs violently and not just because of the spicy inedible food he has been served.

_That old coot! I'm not ready to talk her yet! He always just does whatever he wants!_

He glares daggers at the old man, who just smiles at him as if he is the most unthreatening man in existence right now and explains to his mother how things have changed.

After thinking it over logically instead of running outside the hut as Ben most wants at the moment or throw the hot food in Lor San Tekka's face, he figures it could make some things easier if the rebellion knows he isn't longer an enemy and anyways they would've soon found out his betrayal to the First Order when they put a search warrant for him. Though that doesn't mean he isn't very nervous over her reaction.

 

* * *

 

" _Let me get this straight, my son did all of these...heroic...things. You are sure that it was him?"_ Asks his mother after Lor San Tekka had finished his story.

_Is it really that hard to believe that I can be a hero?_

_**KR: Hero...? More like an idiot...** _

Ben is too nervous to retort to Kylo's insult, while he does his best to beat down his survival instinct to not flee outside when hearing his mother's voice.

"Positive, I have him with me." The old man smiles at Ben, who sits nervously across from him and has lost all appetite and he adds teasingly: "Don't you think I know the kid, I used to babysit him, remember? That mask didn't fool me for one minute."

Ben hides the helmet behind him, as if it would figuratively put all of his past behind him.

A deadly silence is on the line as his mother thinks it over.

_Oh, right...I had...tried to forget about that. No wonder he could see through me like this...though I hated that time, it was so boring, staying in this hut with nothing to do...and sometimes he went on a hermit adventures and instead of taking me with him, he left me with a boring villager...who also went on adventure and left me with another villager who..._

_I remember now I hate this village..._

_**KR: I was going to burn it down for you...** _

_On the other hand...hate is a strong word..._

" _May I speak with him?"_ His mother asks finally a bit forcefully, kind of like in her, he's in big trouble voice that Ben hates so much and she usually used when she heard about how he had broken furniture at one of his babysitter's house, in pure rage over being left behind by his parents...once again.

_No, not yet! I haven't found the map...to earn...at least some of her forgiveness!_

"Of course." Lor San Tekka hands the com-link to Ben who looks at the small device as if it is a thermal detonator. " I will give you two some privacy." He blinks him and goes outside.

_**KR: I knew I should've have cut that meddling fool down...** _

 

* * *

 

" _Ben...?"_ asks his mother on the line, Ben knows he has to cross if he plans on staying on the lightside for real.

_**KR: You know, you can still turn back. You don't have to do this. You can just tell the supreme leader this was all one heatstroke, everyone would understand, with that dark outfit in the desert and wearing a mask on top of it!** _

_I've come too far to turn back now..._

" _Ben...are you there?"_

_**KR: You will regret this, trust me...don't do this...** _

_I'm never trusting you again...and besides you're wrong, wearing black is good in heat as it keeps the skin cool, so your explanation doesn't work!_

_**KR: Okay, I kind of knew that...but the helmet...** _

_It feels like being in a oven, that's true..._

" _Please answer me...this better not be another...awful prank, Lor San Tekka!"_ Shouts his mother furiously.

_Another?_

As much as Ben would like to get the old man in trouble even though he clearly still known as a troublemaker, he can't bear to hear the anguish in his mother' s voice any longer, so he utters two simple words he hadn't said in at least six years. "Hi...mom."

Now there is only silence on the other line.

_Is she crying...? Did she faint? Did she have a heart attack...?_

"Mom...?"

 _"On your six year old birthday what did you find in my closet?"_  She asks him in her commanding voice.

Ben looks shocked at the comm-link, only his mother could recover so soon after earth shattering news and for a moment feels like he's in a cold interrogation room instead of a warm cozy hut...despite the strange opening question. It doesn't take him a long while to recover from the shock as he knows full well what his mother is doing, though that doesn't mean he wants to take any part in it.

"I'm not playing this game..." he says through clenched teeth.

_We don't have time for this!_

" _You could be an imposter. I haven't seen you since you were ten years old,"_ she says firmly.

_You mean not since the time you send me to train with uncle Luke..._

His mom always had an abnormal fear of losing him, of him being kidnapped and even some imposter to takes his place, so they had a list of security questions to answer in the worst case scenario.

_**KR: For someone who was never around, she sure was afraid of losing you...** _

_But she never planned on me having enough of her controlling me from afar and leave on my own...but that is the past, this is now._

Ben rolls his eyes and exhales loudly before muttering shamefully: "Fine...your...slave bikini...which you wore when you killed Jabba the Hut."

_That should convince her...there is no way anyone else...outside the family...would know about her still keeping it!_

" _What do you think sucks the most?"_

"More questions...mom...?"

" _I'm waiting."_

 _She must be thinking about what I told her when I was about ten..._  
"The Jedi code."

_Though I still think it sucks._

_**KR: At least we still agree on that.** _

" _What are your favorite colors?"_

"Black and red."

" _Technically black isn't a color, but the answer is right,"_ correct his mother, always a stickler for details.

"Are you finished...?"

" _What did you call me when you were very small and you could hardly talk?"_

"No, I'm not saying it...ever."

" _Then I won't believe you."_

"Fine...mamsy..."

" _Correct...sweetie."_

He can just imagine her grinning at him, as she has him just where she wants him...at her mercy.

_She's enjoying this way too much! This is pure torture! She must be satisfied now...she can't not be..._

A silence on the line and then: " _What is your...?"_

 

* * *

 

And on and on it went, Ben had never been in as a thorough and awful interrogation and it didn't even help that he went to sit in a comfortable chair beside a fireplace. His brain feels fried after the endless questionnaire.

_I don't remember it being this long! Will she never believe me?_

_**KR: Nope, you better just head back to the First Order. This was all a mistake anyway...** _

" _So it's true...it's you...you have..."_ asks his mother in a broken voice like she's on the verge of crying.

"Yes, I've come back."

_About time, she was convinced!_

_**KR: Damn...but how can you be so sure she isn't a imposter?** _

_Idiot, she wouldn't know so many embarrassing things about me if she wasn't._

_**KR: Just checking...not fair that she gets to ask you all these questions...** _

_I'm too tired to interrogate her..._

" _How...no, it doesn't matter. At last...I knew..." she says in a stunned voice._

_She asked me a lot of stupid questions but not about things that really matter...? Well at least I remember what things are important._

"I will bring you the map," he says with finality.

_There I've said the things I had to tell her._

" _Don't worry about it. I just want you home."_

Ben stares in disbelief at the comm-link.

_Why is she just acting like I've been lost in woods or something? Isn't she...the slightest mad at me for everything I did?_

"What do you mean...what about uncle Luke?" He leans over comm-link and whispers the last word, as if she had forgotten why she is looking for that map in the first place.

" _It's not yours to worry about."_

"Even though I'm the reason he's in hiding in the first place?" He reminds her of the cruel reality.

_Things won't be so easy..._

An awkward silence ensues following that statement, until his mother clear her throat: " _I...It doesn't matter any more. It's in the past...we will find your uncle, don't worry."_

"No, I insist, that's the least I can do."

His mother sighs, knowing how stubborn he is and says sternly: " _Fine, but be very careful...I don't want to lose you..ever again."_

"You won't."

_**KR: Don't promise something you can't keep...** _

" _Please hurry...I can't wait to see you again,"_ says his mother in her most sweet voice, mostly reserved for him.

He pause for a second and then he replies: " _Me..too..."_

_And I mean it._

"Aw, how sweet." Poe decides to walk in the hut at the precise moment. He grins and rubs his oily on a small towel. "I didn't know you had this side to you."

 

* * *

 

Ben's face becomes three shades of red and he quickly turns his back to him.  _Did this guy just have to eavesdrop...so embarrassing...!_

" _Is Poe there? I need to talk to him..."_ says his mother, but Ben turns his attention to Poe instead and snaps at him in authoritative voice, desperate to regain his dignity: "Did you finish repairing?"

Poe just smiles at him:" Yep, we are all ready to go."

_Finally..._

" _I said I need to talk to..."_ Ben puts the comm-link into his pocket muffling the sound but doesn't turn it off.

"Let's go then." He takes a step forward, but Poe stops him by holding up a hand. "Where is Finn? You didn't eat him?" He frowns at the bowl of untouched food sitting on the floor.

"Are you blind? He's sleeping over there!" Ben points where Finn is sleeping in the back and who has been sleeping soundly during everything, as he is used to having to be able to sleep through explosions and what not. He doesn't even stir despite the shouting.

"You are so much fun to tease." Poe walks over to Finn and pushes him super gently. "Wake up Sleeping beauty."

_If I was asleep he would probably kick me in the face...of course I would do the same..._

Finn still doesn't stir.

"Did you drug him?" asks Poe concerned and Ben scoffs: "No, why don't you just try to kiss him...?"

"Is that how you do it in the First Order?" asks Poe seriously, unfazed by the question and Ben, who gets angry over the quick retort, snaps at him: "Just...fuck you Poe!"

"With pleasure." Poe smiles at him like he's nothing but a little kid throwing harmless dirt at him.

_I can't beat this guy..._

" _LET ME SPEAK WITH POE NOW!"_ shouts his mother from Ben's pocket. He and Poe jump startled up as they had forgot she was still on the line. Even Finn wakes up and looks disoriented.

"Wha...First order!?" Finn looks around alarmed but Poe shakes his head. "No, just the resistance."

"Huh?" asks Finn in groggy voice while Ben takes the comm-link from his pocket and stares at it suspiciously: "What for...?"

" _None of your business, I need to talk to him,"_ she snaps at him, clearly still angry over him throwing her into her pocket when she was still talking.

_She must want to talk about the map after all...or some other resistance stuff._

Ben throws the comm-link to Poe who catches it easily despite the suddenness of the throw and the fact that he used the force. Ben is disappointed he managed to grab it as he was hoping to see him scrambling like a fool on the floor after it.

"Yes, general?" Asks Poe in his most serious resistance voice. "Wait, just minute." He waves Ben away but Finn misunderstand his hand gesture and goes outside instead to Poe's dismay, while Ben stubbornly stays.

"Go outside now..." Poe waves him outside, but Ben ignores him.

_Na, ah, I'm listening in even though this is some top secret resistance information..._

_**KR: Now we are talking...it might come in handy later...** _

_I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it because I'm tired of mom keeping me out of everything...like lying about who grandfather was..._

_**KR: Oh...right...** _

* * *

 " _Ben is still there?_ " asks his mother in so tired voice that Ben gets a tiny bit guilty for being one of the reasons she is exhausted and is about to go outside after all, when Poe answers: "Yes, but I can get rid of him..." He puts the comm-link on a table, rolls up his sleeve and walks over to Ben as he plans on pushing him outside and all of Ben's guilt evaporates immediately.

_**KR: If he touches us, I will cut him down with my lightsaber..** _

Ben reaches for his lightsaber in his belt and Poe backs away with the expression of mission aborted.

"Woah, calm down...there fella..." He looks for help from the comm-link while trying to soothe Ben like he's a wild animal.

" _No, it's okay, he can stay,...it concerns him anyway,"_ continues his mother in her tired voice.

_Me?_

"How so?" Poe picks up the comm-link from the table.

" _You are to make sure my son is safe,"_ commands his mother which makes Ben's eyes go wide in surprise.

_What the?!_

"Will do general..." Poe doesn't get any further ast Ben rips the comm-link from him, outraged. "Mom, I don't need the resistance to protect me. I'm far more powerful than some lousy pilot..."

"I'm not lousy," says Poe in a hurt voice.

"You don't have the force, making you lousy, for instance you will never be as good as grandpa..."

Ben doesn't get any further as his mother says in a frosty voice: " _You do as I say or I will pick you up personally and you can forgot all about searching for the map."_

Even though Ben can feel his mother's stern glare through the comm-link, he just scoffs at the empty threat: "Come on, we both know, you are far too busy for that...you always were too busy for me...saving the galaxy always came first, no wonder I tried to wreck it...the only way to get your undivided attention...!"

_Oh, no I didn't say that outloud...!_

_**KR: Yes, you did.** _

_I'm dead..._

Poe's stunned expression says the same thing and he shakes his head in silent disbelief.

* * *

 " _Then I will just contact your father and have him pick you up, do you want that?"_ She asks him knowing full well how that suggestion makes him feel...sick to his stomach...

"No...mom...I will follow your commands..."

_Not that she even knows where he is, as usual..._

" _Good...and we will talk...later about your attempt to the wreck the galaxy..."_

_She means yelling...at me..._

"Yes, mam." He bows his head even though she can't see that gesture.

"But it would be so cool if Han Solo came." Poe has dreamy look in his eyes.

"Why?" Ben glares at him.

_He will kill me for turning to darkside...though of course Poe would like that..._

"He's my hero," replies Poe happily.

_Figures...they are both as annoying...but he will get over his worshipping, just as I did when he sees how he really is...not that I want him to meet him..._

" _Sadly, I don't know where he is...oops...I mean...umm..."_ his mother clears his throat awkwardly.

_I knew it was just another empty threat from her._

"He's probably just smuggling or something...what do I care...or looking for the Falcon, he still hasn't found it has he?" asks Ben with a false bravado.

" _True...your father seems to keep losing things most precious to him..."_

_He has lost something more than the Falcon?_

Ben stares at Poe as if he would know the answer to what his father had lost, who looks as confused as him.

"Not Chewie...? Did he forgot him on some planet? How senile is he becoming?!" Ben imagines poor Chewie growling somewhere sadly in the wilderness...though when he think better about it, Chewie would most likely be able to save himself...  
" _You know exactly what I mean,"_ retorts his mother and he can hear how she shakes her head over how thick he can be.

"No, I don't," he snaps back at her.

_Stop speaking in half-truths!_

" _But I really wish I knew where your father is...he would be so glad to hear that you've finally come to your senses."  
_ Ben snorts. "Glad...? He will bite my head off for betraying you in the first place..."

_And being a huge disappointment...not that he had any hopes for me anyway..._

"I would so like to see that...not literally though, general..." Poe laughs awkwardly and Ben scowls at him.

_And mom trust this guy to keep me safe?_

" _No he wouldn't...in a way, I think it broke him more than me,"_ says his mother in mysterious voice which angers Ben more and he rants: "What's that supposed to mean? Then why didn't you try to come after me? Why did you just let me go? Why were you never there when I needed you?!"

_Whoa where did that come from...? I'm starting to think everything out loud?!_

_**KR: I can still take over if you like. Seems to me your way out of your depth here...** _

"Kid, we don't have time for your family drama right now." Poe puts a hand on his shoulder.

_Kid...only one other person calls everyone that despite their age...and that is my least favourite person right now, well except Snoke...Poe is the third worst..._

"Kid? What are you, two years older than me or something?" Ben moves away from him.

"No, I'm not seven, I'm much older than that." Poe smirks.

_I hate this guy so much..._

Before Ben can come with a smart comeback, his mother buzzes over the comm-link: " _Poe, is right. We will talk...later. You've to go now. Be careful of the routes you take on your way here."_

_As in don't be a idiot and turn back to the darkside..._

"Fine...I will be careful..." Ben hands the comm-link back to Poe.

" _Good,"_ says his mother relieved.

"I will also find the map and bring it and...your...prodigal son to you. We also have a defected trooper with us." Poe smiles at Finn, who stands outside the window, not far from the hut and is talking animatedly about something with Lor San Tekka, who has returned from whatever he was doing and just nod his head to whatever Finn is saying.

" _Great, I wish the First Order would just all join us to end this war...but I know that's just wishful thinking...Ben you will obey Poe at all times,"_ his mother tries to squeeze the last bit in a bit carelessly.

_No way!_

Ben rips the comm-link back from Poe who sighs.

"I will never obey the resistance...except you of course...but that's only because you are my mom and has nothing to do with resistance...I will never obey this guy!" He points angrily at Poe, who shrugs, even though his mother can only hear them but not see.

" _I don't care what you think, you are under his care now. This is his new mission,"_ says his mother in her no-nonsense voice.

_I'm just some stupid mission...no wait...this is worse than that..._

"Mom. I'm an adult now. I don't need a babysitter..." Ben turns away with the comm-link and whispers those words in the hope that Poe couldn't hear them.

" _I beg to differ. You do need a babysitter,"_ says his mother way too loudly, making Poe chuckle.

Ben, who has had enough of this farce, snatches his saber up, turns it on menacingly and in one swift motion cuts through the table that falls loudly to the ground. Poe stares shocked at the two halves of the broken innocent furniture, as if Ben is about to chop him down next.

Finn and Lor San Tekka, who heard the ruckus and look in their direction. Finn stares in surprise while Lor San Tekka runs a hand tiredly over his face, most likely remembering a similar sight when he babysitted him long time ago.

_A bit of revenge for how the old man treated me then and now...and sure helped to scare that annoying rebel a bit..._

" _And Poe you are also to be arriving here safely. No, trying to ditch him...maim or...kill him, Ben, you are on the same team now."_

"And how do you plan on stopping me?" He asks her in a challenging voice.

" _If you do anything to harm him or anyone else on your way here, I swear... I will snap your lightsaber in two,"_ his mother says viciously.

"Yes, mam." Ben sighs defeated and turns off his beloved saber, knowing full from a bitter experience that at least this is not an empty threat, as she was never above destroying his toys to teach him a harsh lesson.

"I'm in charge now." Poe flashes him a winning smile.

_Rebelscum..._

Lor San Tekka walks quickly inside, with Finn fast behind and fixes Ben with a stern look: "Ben, you know the drill." He points at a corner.

"What are you talking about...no..." Ben glances aghast between the broken table and the old man.

"You know, you never get to destroy my personal property without some consequences. Corner now." Lor San Tekka points at him and then at the corner.

Ben looks to Poe whose lips twitch as he tries to keep a serious face and not laugh at him. "He's right you know, you really need to control your temper."

Finn nods in agreement.

_Traitor..._

Ben figures that it is quicker to just admit defeat in this battle, if he ever wants to leave that stupid hut and walks to the corner.

_I hate everything..._

_**KR: Look at the bright side, this can't possibly get any worse...** _

_Shut up Kylo..._

_**KR: I'm only trying to help...** _

_Well, don't..._

_**KR: Fine, don't come crying to me for help...** _

Ben zones him out as he stares into the corner as he used to do way too often in his childhood and mediates in order to keep calm and don't go on a murdering rampage...again...

* * *

 " _I've long since arrived and I'm checking out the the latest deals in the market. I've also hooked up with some girl and we are getting married. Where are you slowpokes?"_ Buzzes Poe over his comlink.

_Show off._

"It's not a race..." answers Ben while he carefully pilots the borrowed shuttle he got from the old coot. He is not used to the seemly ancient controls and is not about to crash the shuttle in the middle of the desert, by making a careless mistake.

_If I had my own shuttle, I would have beaten that bastard pilot in speed...but someone had to destroy the control panels._

_**KR: You annoyed me and...you could've repaired it.** _

_The shuttle would've called for too much attention._

_**KR: Then why are you blaming me for wrecking stuff, you weren't even planning on using? You're always so mean to me...** _

Ben ignores his whining and focuses on flying instead. The trio or well Ben and Poe, as poor Finn woke up fully rested from his power nap without knowing the full story of what had transpired between them and just followed their lead, decided to fly to Niima Outpost and ask for information about the droid in the hope that the droid had found it's way to civilization and they wouldn't need to scan the desert for it. Ben is really optimistic about that being the case as in don't underestimate a droid, was something his mother used to say.

" _Yes, it is a race...against time! Thanks to your latest tantrum, the First Order will be an even harder pain in the ass to deal with. Though they should be used to your teenage mood swings about now."_

Ben can nearly hear Poe smirk through the com-link.

_Smartass._

It's been a long time since anyone had dared to speak to Ben in that way, so he had to admit he was out of practice and not his best game, were it came to good comebacks.

_Except Hux. I could always be snarky with him...but that was different..._

_**KR: Well, for starters, they were my comebacks and you know why, you have trouble with answering Poe...all that bickering, all that judging, reminds of you of certain someone...doesn't it?** _

Ben shuts the communication. He can't deal with any more of Poe's "jokes."

_If only I could turn of the voice in my head, as easily..._

_**KR:You will never get rid of me...** _

_Poe probably thinks I have gone rogue and will yell at me as soon as we land. Not, that I care.. despite mom having put him in charge over me...like I'm some little kid that can't take care of myself!_

_**KR: What did you expect? She has always been so controlling...don't admire your cool grandfather, no turning to the darkside where all the fun is...be a boring Jedi instead who can't even marry...** _

_That's not why I turned to the darkside..._

_**KR: No, you did that...to get her attention...** _

_Perhaps...a small bit..._

_**KR: At least that's what you told her...** _

_Don't remind me..._

_**KR: Though to be honest I thought this conversation would be way worse...I excepted more yelling.** _

_The yelling will come later._

_**KR: Oh...glad I'm not in your shoes...** _

_No you are just in my head..._

_**KR: For now...** _

_Forever..._

Despite his mother's strict commands and threat, Ben gets the most satisfaction out of prolonging the journey to Niima Outpost as long as possible, just to annoy Poe. Even though it could lead to Poe's capture by the First Order and therefore his only way...for now to the resistance. But somehow he didn't care, he would figure something else out. He would just make up some very convincing sob-story to tell his mom so he wouldn't take his head off or breaking his saber, for losing one of her precious rebels to the First Order.

_**KR: That's a very darkside thinking.** _

_No! Just self...perseverance._

_**KR: Whatever you say...** _

* * *

Finn sits nervously behind him in the shuttle despite having no clue about the internal struggle in his former command officer. He is no longer wearing his armour, just the black clothes underneath it plus Poe's jacket, which he gave him before their departure, so you have something else than these vile First Order clothes, as Poe called them. The pilot was awfully overprotective of the defected trooper and wanted him to go with him in his X-wing where there were there only seats for two, but Ben refused and wanted him to go with him instead. He didn't trust Poe not to escape with the trooper, despite his generals commands as Poe could make up some convincing lie about how he lost him and get into a lot of trouble, maybe even be demoted or sacked from the resistance, if there is such a thing...

_Maybe I should disappear to get Poe into trouble with his general...but Poe would probably just blame me and mom would of course just believe him, meaning I would get into trouble...even more than I'm already in..._

Ben groans.  _I better just stick with the plan and get this stupid search over with._

And as Poe has seemed to grown fond of the defected trooper, it gives Ben some insurance that Poe won't ditch them the first opportunity he get, if he keeps him close as he know he has to be one step ahead of his...old enemy. Not to mention, that Finn is Ben's only link to the First Order and for a moment it seems like he is just on another First Order mission instead of having turned out-right traitor. It makes everything seem a little bit bearable, taking the change in small steps in changing his life, instead of the giant leap, he has already taken.

_**KR: Yes, because talking with the leader of the rebellion is perfectly normal for a commanding officer of the First Order...stop fooling yourself...** _

_It could've been just a personal call, not a work one..._

_**KR: You can never go back now...except in chains...** _

_Suits me just fine._

Although Finn is wary of the big changes in Kylo Ren, now Ben, he didn't object and went with him, probably because of how used he is to follow orders from his superior officers and for it Ben felt a tiny bit of guilt...or maybe Finn, also thought it helped to have some familiarity with him to adjust to the big change...maybe. Of course Poe was far from happy with Finn's decision but he accepted it, however not without glaring at Ben for keeping on using the newly freed trooper.

"Umm..." Finn asks in low voice, drawing Ben from his thoughts.

"You can call me Ben, Finn."

"Okay...Ben, shouldn't we be getting as far away from the First Order as possible? I mean..."

"That map can't end up in the hands of the First Order."

"Okay...umm, Ben...?"

"Yes...?"

"How come you suddenly changed your mind about...well everything? Did you hit your head or something? I mean it's good that your are umm good now...I'm just curious."

_**KR: The same could be said about you. How come you decided to ditch everything in your training...you traitor!** _

Ben ignores Kylo Ren tirade."Do you know anything about the force? About the dark and the light side?"

"A little."

"Well, I am light-side now."

_**KR: You make it sound like it's a cola drink...** _

"Okay, cool...but, does that mean that you can turn anytime back to the dark-side?"

"I'm never turning back."

_**KR: That's what you think...** _

Ben clutches his fist."Never."

"Okay...cool." Finn doesn't sound overly convinced. "How come you didn't want any disguise back in the village?"

_I won't throw away everything yet...I'm not even used walking around without a robe...that Snoke forced me to use...to make me as uncomfortable as possible to better dip into the darkside..._

_**KR: It did help though...** _

"It could work to our advantage."

"But it will be awfully hot, sir...eh Ben...that is under the helmet."

"I won't be wearing the helmet."

"You won't...?"

_Should I just leave it here? It's so heavy. But it might come in handy if I have scare people away. But at the same time I don't want to draw too much attention, I better hide it...along with my saber..._

* * *

 At long last they land in Niima Outpost spaceport. Ben parks the shuttle next to Poe's X-wing, who to his dismay has not yet been captured and instead leans on his ship and glares at him with folded arms as if he's about to lecture him big time...or call his mom.

_I will just lie that I got lost on the way on here, everything looks the same in the desert...and the comm-link broke..._

_**KR: I seriously doubt he will believe you...** _

"You." Poe stalks over to Ben the minute he leaves his shuttle and pokes him hard in the chest. "Why did you turn of the comm-link? Too afraid of the truth...?" Poe stops his scolding the minute he lays eyes on the former trooper behind him. "Finn, glad to see you in one piece." Poe smiles at him.

"Same to you," answers Finn shyly.

"I won't harm him." Ben glares at Poe who points him even harder in the chest. "You better not or I am telling your dad on you."

_Where did that come from? It's not like he knows him. Does he? Huh, why should I care...? But he could report to mom..._

Ben just shakes his head and says in his commanding voice, despite the fact that Poe was made the leader: "Let's split up and ask for some information..."

"I already found my droid. It's with a girl." Poe grins victoriously and leads the way quickly through the crowded marketplace, past all the tented stalls.

_Well, that was quick..._

"A girl?" Finn runs to keep up with him.

"What girl?" asks Ben but he is in no hurry to catch up with them, forcing Poe to slow down a little.

None of the scavengers pay them any special mind and go about their business as usual, no one seems to realize Kylo Ren is strolling casually through there and only think he is some guy dressed funny.

_**KR: Well technically that is true.** _

_Good thing I hid the helmet, it would've caused panic otherwise._ Ben claps on the pouch on his back, where he hid the helmet.

_Too bad it's so heavy..._

"How should I know. I'm not from around here. Are you even into girls?" Poe waits for Ben to catch up and is annoyed that Ben is forcing them to go at his slow pace.

"Yes."

Poe looks genuinely surprised. "Well, that's surprising."

"Why is that surprising?" Asks Ben darkly when he catches up with them and Poe just shrugs, infuriating him further.

_**KR: Well, I'm not or wait, it's complicated. I like Phasma too.** _

_Too...wait have you ever seen her without the helmet?_

_**KR: No and like the mystery, besides she has not seen me without it either...** _

Ben shakes his head.  _I've never understand your mask fetish...wait, what guy are you into? Don't tell me it's...?!_

"What about you Finn?" Poe turns to Finn, who blinks in surprise as if he hadn't been following the conversation at all and was too busy looking in every corner for any sign of the First Order. "Huh?" Finn blinks in surprise.

"What are your preferences?" asks Poe again.

Finn looks deep in thought. "Um...I don't know...I haven't had any chance...girls I think..."

Poe shakes his head. "Rotten First Order."

_I won't waste any more time for this locker room talk..._

"Why haven't you retrieved your droid since you already found it?" snarls Ben at Poe.

_What's the point in leading us to it...unless he just wants to annoy me...? Or prank..or trap me!_

"Well, this girl seems overly protective of it..." explains Poe.

"How so?" asks Finn before Ben has a chance to.

"She just took two guys down who tried to snatch him with her stick. It might take some convincing to get it from her...even though it's my droid," replies Poe.

"You are afraid of her?" Ben shakes his head in disbelief. "The mighty Poe is afraid of a little girl."

"Never underestimate a woman's wrath," says Poe seriously and Ben passes him, taking the lead. "Well then...we must go and convince her."

_Do I have to do everything around here?_

_**KR: You miss your loyal subjects.** _

_Do not._

 

* * *

 

Rey walks steadily through the bustling market. She has been alone for as long as he could remember, trying to survive in desert by being a scavenger, hoping one day for the return of her family.

The little BB-8 unit rolls beside her and is trying to get back to his owner, who had promised to come for him. Rey was going to make sure he would go back home safely.

_I sure hope his owner keeps his promise to return for him, or I will hunt him down...as long as he is on Jakku..._

Suddenly BB-8 chirps happily.

"What? Your owner is already here?"

_Well, that was quick...kind of anticlimactic...! I was hoping for a little bit of adventure...more than just having to beat off Unkar Plutt's thugs, but that's nothing unusual...but of course as long as the adventure takes only place here on Jakku...I can't leave. It would be so typical if my family would return the minute I have left the planet!_

Rey is startled from her thoughts when the droid starts to chirp in anxiety.

"What! He's with your biggest enemy? Is he a prisoner or something?"

_That's more like it...though I hope his owner isn't in some awful peril...I better rescue him before he's taken away here!_

Rey looks in the direction of BB8's panic and pets him. "Don't worry."

_I will protect you and save your owner._

She dashes towards a black clothed man with vengeance in mind, with BB8 rolling after her, equally as mad.

 

_Next up: The (new) meeting of Rey and Ben... (meeting Rey of light)_


	4. Meeting Rey of light

Ben watches as a crazy woman advances on him through the tented stalls like a fighting bull. She looks murderous, as if he had murdered her whole family or something.

**_KR: Wow, that's some darkside material..._ **

_Why is she so mad at me? Does she even know who I am?_

**_KR: Beats me...maybe she hates your hair or something..._ **

Ben is caught between should he run or fight her, yet for some reason he stays.

The scavengers in the tented stalls look alarmed and watch after where the woman is running, but as she gets closer, a little orange and white BB unit, becomes visible beside her and seems to be just as mad as her for some reason.

_Wait, isn't that...?_

**_KR: The droid I was looking for..._ **

"Shouldn't we run?! That woman and droid looks like dangerous...!" Finn is about to run away, but Poe pulls him back by his collar and turns grinning to Ben as if he had set it all up. "Ah, that's the girl I told you about...with my droid."

"What girl!? I was expecting a child...this is a young woman!" snaps Ben at him as the mad woman keeps getting closer, with the droid he now knows is BB-8.

**_KR: I knew this was a trap! Gah! Her light is blinding me!_ **

_What the...are you talking about? Since when are you a vampire?_

Then Ben feels the same, as if a strong bolt of light is running his way except unlike Kylo's case it doesn't make him feel ill...but instead at a peace.

_I've never met anyone so strong in the force...so strong in the light...and the darkness..._

He stares mesmerized as the angry woman draws closer to him, with the droid rolling madly after her and all of a sudden, he stares into the blue sky as she knocks him hard onto the sandy ground with her staff.

He lands right onto the back pouch hiding his helmet, hurting his back in the fall and on top of it BB-8 saps him.

"Ouch!"

And as always Poe dares to laugh at him while Finn still looks like he wants to run away.

**_KR: Ahaha you lost to an untrained girl! I would never lose to one...and if the helmet broke because of the fall, I will break her..._ **

_I didn't lose! And the helmet is stronger than that...I'm more worried about my back! Wait, untrained...really? But she is so strong in force, what a waste!_

* * *

 

 

Understandably a woman running like mad, had caused some commotion in the marketplace, so most of the people, aliens and droids have gathered around them and hang onto their every word to understand what's going on.

"He says you're Kylo Ren of the First Order," the woman says matter of factly and when Ben tries to get up and away from the sapping droid not her, as he doesn't mind that much being trapped under her for some strange reason, she pushes him down with her staff.

_Oh no, she know who I was...how?! He? She understands the droid? Ah, that explains her rage...a bit..._

"Kylo Ren!" shouts one of the bystanders in fright.

"It can't be, he doesn't have a helmet!" shouts another, as if he thinks the helmet is permanently stuck on Kylo Ren's head.

**_KR: I'm more than just a helmet!_ **

"Ssh, not so loud!" Finn yells even louder, but then he whispers. "We are not with the First Order anymore."

"Ren... is one of the good guys now..." says Poe as if he still doesn't believe it and the snoopy bystanders share that same disbelief as they shake their head and murmurs among themselves, yet loud enough for Ben to hear each and every word and some even speak languages he doesn't know and to be frank he doesn't care, as he only sees the woman in front him.

"Must be some make believe game."

"Kylo Ren would never betray the First Order."

"Or have no helmet."

"Must be a play...or something..."

**_KR: That is so true! Finally someone who gets it! Did you hear that Ben?! Ben...?_ **

Ben is too busy gawking at the mysterious woman on top of him, to even care what his dark self is saying or the audience around him. He only sees her.

_She's...so...beautiful...like the sun..._

**_KR: So cheesy...and are you just going to lie there all day?_ **

_No, more like a star...shining so brightly in the darkness of the sky..._

**_KR: Don't start composing bad love poetry! Stay with me! And she's more like a meteor as she has crashed on you! And crushed your brain apparently as well..._ **

"Good guys?" The woman, who thankfully has no idea of the bad love poetry being composed under her nose, glances at BB-8 who either doesn't hear this breaking news or doesn't care, as he continues to sapp him and even though Ben is used to pain from the darkside training, this is far from a pleasant experience and the sapping finally wakes him up from his love trance.

He stares up at Poe and hopes against all odds, that he will explain things to his sappy-happy droid and get him to stop electrocuting him.

_He's supposed to protect me after all..._

"Yes, apparently. BB-8 stop sapping him..okay one more...maybe two...or three," says Poe teasingly and BB-8 is all too happy to obey his owner.

_Okay two can play at that game...I will report everthing you do to me to my mom...you bully!_

**_KR: Or you can just take care of him yourself..._ **

_Or that.._

"Poe, you..!" Ben finally has enough of electric shocks and force pushes BB-8 away, who chirps in fright, but for a moment Ben forgot he could use the force himself as he was too focused on the woman. "I'm gonna kill you!"

He jumps to his feet and shakes his fist at him, but when he sees the shocked looks of Finn's and all the snoopy bystanders, but most importantly on the woman's face, he adds in milder voice: "I didn't mean that literally...of course..." He gets flustered and rubs his neck.

_That's just one way street back to the dark-side... And mom strictly forbid me to kill..._

Poe just smirks despite the death threat, Finn looks relieved, but the woman stares curiously at him, forcing Ben to turn away from her as he blushes furiously.

_Please...don't stare at me...!_

The snoopy bystanders nod their head as one, as if hey had reached a conclusion.

"Ah, this must be some street performers."

"Some happening."

"Definitely a play."

"Must be a improv...bit of overacting if you ask me..."

"Must be a resistance play, the First Order would never allow one like this."

"Kylo Ren would kill the playwright."

**_KR: You're so right!_ **

_Go away...I want to speak with...her alone..._

**_KR: You don't even know her name..._ **

_Then I will find it out...I mean ask her..._

* * *

 

Unluckily for Ben, Poe thinks this is all very funny and continues to act in the fake play and therefore destroys Ben's fantasy of being alone with the mysterious woman by bringing him to the harsh reality, which ironically the bystanders think is only a play.

"Consider it a payback from when you held me suspended in the air, for a very, very long time, turned off the com-link and oh, not to mention for all the trouble you have caused the galaxy through the years." Poe crosses his arms and isn't in the least frightened by Ben's death threats, as he know he can't do anything to him or his mom will be mad and punish him.

"It wasn't me. It was all Kylo Ren," says Ben annoyed that he has to repeat himself endlessly and hates the fact that they have an audience to their fighting, beside Finn, BB-8 and the mysterious woman, who he really just wants to go somewhere alone with and get to know better, especially her name...

**_KR: You turned off the comm-link...remember...that is if there is one brain cell left in you..._ **

"I thought he was Kylo Ren..." says the nameless woman to Finn, instead of asking Ben directly which spikes a bit of jealousy in him and Finn replies: "It's complicated...my story is similar..." Finn blinks her and Rey seems puzzled over what that gesture means, but Ben knows exactly what Finn's game is.

_Oh, no you don't get to flirt with her! Not on my watch!_

**_KR: Yes, give in to your anger!_ **

Ben scowls at Finn and clenches his fist, who seem to be taken back by his sudden rage directed at him instead of Poe and blinks innocently.

The audience looks as confused as the woman over what is happening.

"What kind of story is this?"

"Are they actors or part of the audience?"

"I don't understand the plot."

"Maybe there isn't one..."

Ben, who has had enough of these prying bystanders, turns swiftly to them and shouts: "Maybe if you would just shut up for one kriffing second, you might find out!"

**_KR: So true, I also hate people who speak during plays...or movies..._ **

The audience looks shocked and Ben hopes that this will be enough to chase them away, but no so such luck as they look to be even more excited.

"Oh, so this is one of these interactive plays."

"I've never been at one of those."

"So we are part of the story, that's cool, I guess..."

"But he's right, it's better to stay quiet and listen...and pay attention."

"Good idea."

_Seriously, can't they just leave...and mind their own business?!_

* * *

 

Poe, who is enjoying this tremendously, picks up from where they left, as if nothing had happened and frowns at Ben mockingly: "That's a childish thing to say. Good thing, you are going back to your family to set you straight." He shoves him playfully onto one of the stalls, making him lose temporarily balance.

"Shut up, Poe!" snaps Ben at him and shoves him harshly back.

"Back to your family..." The woman looks spellbound by that one sentence and covers her mouth as if she's about to cry.

**_KR: Woah...what's up with that reaction?_ **

_Something awful must have happened to her..._

"Ah, so this is a family drama," declares, some know it all in the audience.

Ben and Poe stop fighting and Finn is the first to voice his concern aloud:"Are you alright?"

_Damn! He beat me again!_

But the woman doesn't seem to hear Finn as she turns to Ben and asks: "How did you do that?"

_Hah! She ignored Finn! I won!_

**_KR: No, clearly she doesn't want to talk about her family...you only serves as a distraction from that painful topic..._ **

_Well, it's better than nothing..._

Finn looks crestfallen over being ignored while Ben raises an eyebrow. "Do what exactly?"

"That...push-thingy?" The woman makes some adorable hand gestures and pushes BB-8 a bit to replicate what he did with BB-8 earlier who chirps something angrily at her.

"Oh, sorry BB-8." She gives him an apologetic smile.

"Oh, that...I used the force." Ben answers as if that is the answer to everything but the woman just stares at him as if he was speaking a language she doesn't understand, even though she understands the droid perfectly. "The what now...? And who might you be?" She turns to Poe, who gives her his annoying winning smile.

"I am Poe Dameron. I'm from the Resistance." He pulls from his pocket a badge with the resistance signal.

"The Resistance?" The girl looks awed and Ben shakes his head, unimpressed. "They are way overrated...I'm just tagging along with them on the same mission..."

"I'm his temporary guardian." Poe smirks and Finn interjects quickly before Ben has a chance to murder Poe for those words or for the woman to ask any embarrassing questions: "I'm Finn...I'm one of the good guys too." He puts forth his hand for a handshake.

"Are you also part of the resistance?" The woman gazes at him excited, but Finn looks a little deflated. "No...but I'm still one of the good guys...I promise."

He smiles at her, but as the woman has some trust issues even though she seems to trust Ben for some reason, looks to Poe for confirmation who answers: "Yeah, he is too and this is my droid. Thanks for taking care of it." Poe pets BB-8 who chirps happily that Poe is finally showing him some attention. "You have done well, my friend."

"My pleasure. Bye, BB-8." The woman waves so sadly at the droid, as if he's her only friend in the whole world.

"We have to hurry. Any minute the First Order will show up," remarks Finn, though he seems sad to leave the woman behind. "Nice meeting you...sorry I haven't got your name..."

_It's true...we all gave our names...is she hiding something? Why is she so strong in the force?_

**_KR: She still thinks your name is Ren...my name..._ **

_Well, then I will just correct that awful misunderstanding..._

"It's...why are you staring at me?" The woman frowns at Ben, who can't take his eyes off her.

_There is something awfully familiar about this woman..._

**_KR: Are you talking about the fact that she is wearing a very similar hairstyle as your mother used to wear? Has the same temper as her and is dressed not unlike your uncle when he lived on Tatooine? Not to mention how strong she is in the force..._ **

_No, it more like...I feel like I've met her somewhere before...maybe in a dream..._

**_KR: I've never met her...but I've heard about her..._ **

_What do you mean?_

**_KR: No comment. Except the fact that she is...maybe the reason you turned to darkside..._ **

_What?! You're joking._

**_KR: No comment._ **

_Well anyway, she is full of light...as well as darkness. She could help me get rid of you..._

**_KR: In...your...dreams..._ **

* * *

 

"Is he just gonna stare at her?" asks someone in the audience.

"Stop staring at me," the woman scowls at Ben warningly with her hand on her hips.

_But I need to know...who are you really? And why do I feel...such a strong connection to you?_

**_KR: How about just asking her...?_ **

_Can't...too shy..._

"Stop freaking the poor girl out," rebukes Poe him and Finn nods in agreement, though he is kind of staring at her as well.

"I'm not freaked out...just annoyed..." The woman glares at Ben. "Really, don't you have any manners?"

**_KR: She ran you down and has the nerve to say you've no manners!_ **

"Sorry..." Ben looks down dejected over having been scolded and not having been able to get through her mind shields.

However, that one meek gesture seems lowers her shields which he had tried without vain to get through, and for a minute his mind gets transported right into hers.

 

* * *

 

He sees the woman, on Jakku as a small child, Rey is her name, screaming desperately after a shuttle for it to return, while holding a meaty hand of someone, who tells her to shut up. But before Ben can get any more information Rey throws up a force mind field, seemly unconsciously casting him outside of her mind.

* * *

 

Ben pants after that sudden trip, back and forth. The rest of the gang and the audience stares confused at his exhaustion, as to them he hasn't moved a muscle.

"Must be the heat," one of the know it all in the audience says, but Ben doesn't care for their comments as he still reeling from what he saw.

**_KR: Interesting. What does she have to hide?_ **

_At least I got her name..._

**_KR: And her sob backstory._ **

_Hey, it is very sad...being abandoned by her family like that...Geesh, leaving a child alone at that age...on desert rock...and I thought my parents were bad!_

**_KR: Whatever you say. I personally think family is overrated and makes you weaker. Just look at how your mom is controlling you now._ **

_Shut up Ren...though, you do I have a point..._

**_KR: Right, I'm always right._ **

_No, you're not._

**_KR: Name one time I wasn't._ **

Ben ignores him, even though he could name at least hundred times and turns to the woman who he feels must be comforted, because she's about to lose BB-8, her only friend in the whole world. "I'm really really sorry, Rey, but the droid must get back to the resistance."

"The resistance...wait how do you know my name?" The young woman now with a name stares at him along with the surprised audience. "I never told you it."

Finn and Poe stares at him as well, but both sternly as they know Ben must have used some kind of a force mind probe to get this delicate information, which would explain his intense staring at her before.

_Oops...I slipped up._

**_KR: Idiot..._ **

"The force told...me..." he replies awkwardly.

**_KR: No, you spied on her...in her mind._ **

Rey, who is the only one, except the audience, who hasn't got a clue about the mind probe, frowns in disbelief. "The force is behind everything? But I really have to go home now, glad to see BB-8 found its owner. Nice meeting you." She waves at them and turns to walk away.

"Nice meeting you..Rey," says Finn and Poe just smiles after her, while both BB-8 and Ben are sad to see her leave so he doesn't want to say goodbye and the audience looks disappointed as well.

"What...is the play over?"

"This was so short..."

"Well, it was with no admission fee, what do you expect?"

_They are right...I can't let it end like this!_

"You could come with us," calls Ben after her and she yells a bit annoyed over her shoulder: "Thanks for the offer..but I have to stay here."

"I can help you find your family!" He yells after her.

 

* * *

 

Rey stops and turn around, dumbstruck and the twist gets the audience talking as well.

"Aw, how cute."

"Definitely not the real Kylo Ren."

"You were skeptical?"

"Now the story is really starting."

_Where did that come from? The first unselfish thing I have done since my return._

**_KR: You will score some light-side points for this. Congratulations...the first thing you do is hitting on the first girl you meet._ **

_I'm not hitting on her..._

**_KR: Flirting then..._ **

"Really...?" Poe lifts an eyebrow sternly and BB-8 does something similar.

"It's not fair that you know more about her than us," say Finn. "I mean it's rude...I wouldn't use information like that to...pick up girls."

But Rey, who doesn't care how Ben got the information in the first place, saunters over to Ben and this time she is the one who can't stop staring at him. "Who are you...really?"

She squints her eyes and seems to see right into his soul as she says in dazed voice: "You...You are afraid...you were lost...but now you are going back home...back to your family..." Ben can see the longing in her eyes.

_She can read my mind as well! What can't this woman do?!_

"Trying to..." Ben mutters as Rey keeps staring him down.

It is unnerving how this girl can read him like an open book, so he puts up shields before she can see anymore, especially the darkness in his soul.

Rey, who for a moment seemed to be in trance wakes up, and she blinks in confusion.

"What was she doing?" someone in the audience asks and Finn, Poe and BB-8 look shocked over her ability as well, though they are closer to knowing what it is, than the clueless spectators.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how I did that! I didn't mean to pry..." Rey looks frightened out of her mind by her unknown power and she grabs her head in panic.

_She needs training..._

**_KR: I told you so..._ **

"Don't worry...it was just the force..." says Ben and is about to explain all what that is for an eager student when Poe rudely interrupts him: "Hey! As much as I like picking up girl as the next one. We really don't have time for this."

_Spoilsport..._

"Yeah, we have to get away from the First Order as soon as possible," says Finn and looks tired of having to repeat the obvious.

BB-8 chirps in agreement.

"This First Order..." says someone in the audience, as if he or she had forgotten they were an important factor in the play.

"Must be the knights...it wouldn't make any sense to send anything less after Kylo Ren," says one know it all.

_The knights...I really am not in the mood to meet them and maybe the First Order won't come after all...maybe they just decided to ditch me and the search for the map...and start over..._

**_KR: You wish. They are most likely thinking of doing something terrible to you._ **

_Yeah, like making me wait for them..._

**_KR: Waiting can be torturous..._ **

 

* * *

 

"I know she is pretty and all..." says Poe, but Ben snaps at him:"That's not the only reason. She's strong in the force."

_I can feel great light but also...darkness..._

"How...do you know so much...do you know anything about my family?" Rey looks desperate for any answers.

"Sadly, no, but I can help you find it," says Ben.

"How?" asks Rey.

_I've no idea, to be honest...DNA test?_

"This droid has a map that leads to Luke Skywalker." Finn says to fill up the silence while Ben is thinking of some plan to find Rey's family.

"Luke Skywalker? Is he your father?" asks Rey innocently, but he question angers Ben who answers curtly. "No."

_Thank the force..._

"Just my uncle," says Ben to clarify her confusion.

"Luke Skywalker, the last Jedimaster is his uncle?" asks the audience, who to Ben' annoyance still hasn't left.

"Yeah, right. Definitely, someone wrote that play, who knows nothing about Kylo Ren or how he works."

**_KR: True, he's not my uncle..._ **

_It's bad enough that he's my uncle...though mom likes him...for some reason...wait could Rey be his...daughter? Could explain our connection, similarities to mom and why she so strong in the force. But would uncle really leave his child in such a horrible place...? Maybe this was some stupid test and he forgot her there? I wouldn't put it past my uncle to do something so stupid..._

"You know him?" Poe and Finn look surprised at Rey and Ben looks curiously at her as well, but Rey shakes her head: "Not really...I just thought he was a myth."

**_KR: Hah! Luke is already just a myth! He could've just as been dead to people..._ **

_The audience knows who he is._

**_KR: Okay, then just to Rey..._ **

"No, he's alive and kicking...at least the last time I saw him..." says Ben hurriedly to drown out the dark voice in his head and decides not to go any further into that story, although Rey looks eager to hear more, judging from her beautiful eyes, who are brimming with curiosity...

_Such beautiful eyes..._

"We have to go now!" Poe literally has to pull Ben away from Rey by pulling his arm.

"Are you sure you won't come with us?" Ben looks pleadingly at her. "It's an awful waste of your talents just to be a scavenger...you could be a Jedi!"

"How do you know I am a...? Oh, right the force told you. No, thanks for the offer though. It is very kind of you. No one has ever...offered to help." Rey smiles sadly.

_Kind...I never thought anyone would call me again...kind..._

**_KR: Me neither_** _..._ ** _I'm insulted.._** _._ ** _a kind dark_** **_Jedi!_**

Poe stops pulling Ben away from her. "Kind? Do you have any idea who this man is...or was? What he has done?"

Finn nods in agreement with Poe and BB-8 does as well.

_Traitor, didn't I save him from the First Order? But of course he's trying to steal Rey away from me..._

"It's all in the past. I'm trying to make amends for it," says Ben hurriedly and glares at Poe, for bringing it up when he had scored some high points with Rey for suggesting to help her find her family.

_Don't you dare tell her anything about my dark past or I swear I will hunt you down..._

"Correction, your mom is picking up the pieces for you," says Poe and smirks.

_Oh...great of course he had to drag my mom into this..._

"His mom?" Rey looks around as if she's expecting his mom to be nearby and figuratively pick up the pieces for him, which is even more humiliating.

"She is the leader of the resistance," explains Poe.

The audience gasps over that revelation.

"So wait, if Luke is his uncle...and Leia is his mother and then his dad must be..." one in the audience says and whispers something excitedly to someone beside him.

"No way," the other breathes out and they other snickers as they had solved some difficult puzzle. "So his grandad is?"

"Yeah."

"No wonder he turned to the darkside." The audience inspects him closely, albeit far away or Ben would be far too tempted to chop them down.

_Why didn't I stop this farce a long time ago?!_

But even though Ben hates to admit it, Poe is right about his mother as she is indeed doing her best to fix the things he did. For instance, his mom had sent some from the resistance to help rebuild and guard Lor San Tekka's village in case the First Order would try to burn it to the ground again as a revenge for Kylo Ren betraying them.

_Not that I care what happens to that village...especially that old coot..._

**_KR: Someone is carrying a grudge over that corner time..._ **

_It wasn't just corner time! He also told my mom and she lectured and threaten me for breaking that table..._

* * *

 

 

" _I'm so disappointed, one minute you are a hero and the next you are back to your old ways, destroying personal things...with your lightsaber," lectured his mother him over the comm-link._

" _It was an accident...," he answered lamely after having spent thirty minutes in the corner._

" _Don't you dare lie to me."_

" _Sorry..."_

" _This is your last chance. You better be on your best behavior the whole time or...I swear I will put you over my knee...in front of the whole resistance..."_

_She can't do that, so it's only an empty threat, but still mortifying, especially with Poe listening to everything!_

_Poe, who was close by, pretended not to hear anything, but most likely was just filing it away for future jokes to torment him with. Finn was gratefully outside, making a new table for Lor San Tekka while the old coot was talking to someone in the resistance who had arrived to help rebuilding the village and guard it._

_But wow, is she pissed at me...for breaking a stupid table..._

**_KR: This is about more than a just table...but what did you expect? Things won't be easy...you were already in trouble..._ **

_She goes from threatening to break my saber to corporal punishment...what next? Jail time?_

**_KR: She will probably throw in a grounding too, if you ask her nicely..._ **

" _I promise I will behave...but I'm not a kid..." reminded Ben her for the hundredth time._

" _You are my kid and therefore my responsibility," said his mother, somehow both furiously and sweetly._

_Why now? She didn't really try to stop me as Kylo Ren.._

_Ben could just imagine how some of the conversations in the resistance base had gone if that had been the case._

" _That Kylo Ren killed countless people again...general, can't you control your stupid kid?!"_

 _Of course mom probably lied about me turning like everything else_ ... _I was most likely just killed by Kylo Ren_ ... _I wonder how she will explain this now to the resistance...? I wonder if she managed to...contact father..._

 

* * *

 

"Hello...are you still with us? Are you having a flashback inside of a flashback or something?" Poe waves a hand in front of Ben's face. "When was the last time you ate anything or drank?"

"He looks white," remarks Finn. "I hope he's not about to pass out..."

BB-8 chirps worriedly.

"I can try to find some food!" Rey is about to run away, but as Ben is having none of that, he grabs her hand. "It's okay, I'm fine."

"You are sure? Rey looks worried.

Ben nods and lets go of her hand even though he doesn't want to. "Just tired."

She smiles, as she has no idea how screwed up his life has become. "Okay."

**_KR: Why didn't you let her go home? The First Order could be on their way. You don't want her dragged into your mess..._ **

_I will protect her if they show up._

**_KR: Yeah right..._ **

"As his mom is my boss, he's my new mission." declares Poe, who doesn't mind the audience at all and seems to love dropping random info dumb lines, pats Ben shoulder, but he shakes his hand off.

_Don't you dare be friendly with me!_

"Oh..." says Rey, still confused and looks at Ben for answers. "So are you going back to your uncle...or mother?"

The audience looks confused as well.

Ben groans inwardly. "I'm going back to the resistance with the map that lead to Luke Skywalker's the last Jedi hideout, but the resistance needs his help to defeat the First Order."

_See, no need to make this all about my family...this not just personal..._

**_KR: And whose fault is that your uncle is in hiding?_ **

_Yours..._

**_KR: I doubt that your family sees it that way..._ **

_Then I will make them see it my way..._

"Oh, okay. I think I understand now." Rey smiles at BB-8 who doesn't seem to understand anything as it looks quickly from his owner to Ben and chirps something, that sounds a lot like holy moly, this is weird!

The audience nods happy with the info dumbing, so they can still follow along.

Finn, who has given up following the plot in their play or flirting with Rey for now, glances around quickly as he's excepting the First Order to suddenly drop out of the air or jump out of the ground, thankfully there is still no sign of them anywhere.

_They are really...really slow..._

**_KR: I wonder if something happened to them...or if their are too busy burning the village back to the ground and killing the resistance...and Lor San Tekka..._ **

_I hope they are just lazy...and taking their time..._

**_KR: So you do care about the village after all..._ **

"Well, I'm doing my part to fix things too," says Ben and ignores the voice in his head.

For a moment neither Poe, the new gang nor the audience seems to not know what he is talking about, then it dawns on Poe. "Such as...?"

"Turning to the lightside, bringing the map to the resistance..." Ben frowns at him for stating the obvious.

_Not killing you..._

**_KR: That's just because he has to report everything back to your mother..."_ **

"About damn time you did something right in your life!" says Poe and slaps his back in a playful manner.

_Stop touching me!_

Ben moves quickly over to Rey, far away from Poe, who shrugs and pats BB-8 instead.

"Speaking of time...we are out of one..." Finn gulps audible and points straight ahead.

Rey turns her head and visibly pales at whatever she sees.

"Why do you say that...? Oh..." Poe gets a bit pale and BB-8 chirps loudly in anxiety.

"So the First Order has finally arrived...lets see what they brought us..." Ben walks over there with great dread in his step.

**_KR: My knights, my knights!_ **

_Please, not the knights, not the knights!_

 

_Next up: The First Order has finally arrived..._

 


	5. The First Order arrives

Ben stares dumbfounded at what he sees in the tent in front of him and back at his gang, who stares at the two troopers who are talking casually to some thugs, as if is they are the most dangerous thing they have ever seen.

"This can't be it, can it?" says the audience behind him disappointed and Ben feels the same way, even though he's a bit relieved.

_Finally the First Order show up and what...no knights...and yeah super terrible, two troopers. They are sure underestimating me! I'm greatly insulted!_

**_KR: The troopers are just for the map...they are most likely sending the knights after you. But the map comes first..._ **

_So I am not their top priority?_

**_KR: The galaxy doesn't revolve around you..._ **

Ben turns to Rey. "They saw you with me. You are marked now."

**_KR: I just told you they are after the map! And they haven't even looked in your direction yet! They are probably just on their coffee break or something..._ **

"Well, thanks for that," says Rey bitterly as she knows she can't return home now.

**_KR: Well done, she hates you now._ **

_Does not._

"I can just take out these troopers," says Ben and shrugs as if it is as easy as taking out the trash.

Poe knits his brows, BB-8 does something similar while Rey looks skeptical, maybe because she could so easily run him down, but that didn't really count as he kind of let her do it for some reason and Finn looks sad by that proclamation.

_I thought he was afraid of the First Order?_

**_KR: Could be friends of his._ **

_Oh, right...I hope not..._

Ben takes Kylo Ren's helmet out of the pouch, inspects it and smiles.

_Not a single scratch despite the fall!_

**_KR: Come on, you just want to play a hero in front of Rey. Why do you even need the helmet?_ **

_All heroes wear a mask...I mean, not many in the First Order have seen me without it. They might not take me seriously...wait how come BB-8 recognized me without the helmet? Is he force sensitive?_

**_KR: No, you idiot...he must have seen you without it in the village..._ **

_But didn't he leave before I took it off?_

**_KR: I...don't overthink it!_ **

 

* * *

 

The audience who had grown quite bored after seeing the threat were only two troopers and also because they others in Ben's gang are only staring at Ben, who is staring at his helmet, grow interested again when at last they realize what helmet it is.

"Is that Kylo Ren's helmet?"

"Must be fake."

"It's not very well done."

"The saber will probably look as fake as well."

Ben ignores the audience comments even though they annoy him as he is too busy staring at his helmet and a scary thought comes into his mind.

_Will I turn into you again if I wear this?_

**_KR: Do you really think I would tell you if that were the case?_ **

_I feel dark energy coming from it..._

**_KR: You're imagining it...it's just a helmet for crying out loud! Oops...I mean..._ **

_Hah, got you to reveal the truth! Thanks!_

But when Ben is about to put on his helmet, Poe grabs his wrist. "That wouldn't be wise. The little I know about the darkside, is that killing is one of the things that leads you straight back there..."

"I'm not taking orders from you Poe, you're not my father!" shouts Ben at him without thinking, silencing everyone even BB-8 who chirps at everything.

**_KR: That was weird..._ **

Even the audience who knows who his real father is or at least in the play, so it not exactly a great twist to them, gawk at him.

"Umm..." Ben, who gets flustered by getting even more attention than before, hides his face behind the helmet.

"Thank your lucky stars that I'm not, I would ground you for life!" replies Poe sternly as he is never stumped by anything Ben says and rips the helmet away from him.

"Haha...very funny..." Ben rips the helmet back from him.

_Though my father would probably do that...among other things...if he ever got his hands on me..._

Poe rips the helmet back and soon he and Ben are in tug of war over it.

"Father, mother, uncle...? Is he maybe your brother...cousin or something?" ask Rey, the one without a family, utterly confused along with the audience, as she tries in vain to keep a track of Ben's ever growing family tree.

She looks at BB-8 and Finn who, looks as lost as her, as Finn continues watching in dread the First Order troopers, who are casually speaking to the thugs and have not once looked in their direction.

"No!" shouts both Ben and Poe outraged over that implied family connection between them and continue pulling the helmet to each side.

"His father is a hero," declares Poe and pulls the helmet to his side.

"My father is an idiot," snaps Ben and drags the helmet back over to him.

Ben could've just as well punched Poe in the face with those words, so he growls at him: "How dare you?"

"I know him better than you," says Ben in kind of bragging voice.

_I know everything about your so-called hero and I'm not telling you anything!_

"Then I'm really curious about what your father would do to you..."

_Seriously, what's up with his obsession with my father? He can keep him if he wants to..._

**_KR: You know, you don't mean that..._ **

"Well, you will never find out. So how about letting me do my things my own way." Ben rips the helmet away from Poe and jumps far back so he can't take it as easily from him.

Poe snorts and gives up on getting the helmet back. "Yeah, that has worked so well so far."

_Jerk...though he has a point._

**_KR: Does not._ **

But, just as Ben is about to put the helmet of his dark past on his head, Finn stops him by taking his arm: "Wait, these are FN-2145 and FN-1897..."

"How can you tell them apart?" asks Poe bewildered and Rey, BB-8 and the audience looks as stunned.

"Friends of yours?" asks Ben, who is not stumped by Finn's ability to tell two identical troopers a part as he can do the same.

_He must be force sensitive..._

**_KR: First BB-8 and now you think that about a lowly...trooper...sure the force is behind almost everything, but give me a break...he obviously just know this as they were his comrades. No more mystery than that..._ **

_You must be fun at parties..._

**_KR: I'm not trying to be, you're the clown here..._ **

Ben ignores him as Finn shakes his head and frowns. "Nah...they were mean to me, stuffed me down a toilet and such."

"That's not nice," says Poe and looks angry at the troopers and Rey and BB-8 nod their heads in an agreement.

"Do you want me to kill them?" asks Ben, his voice laced with venom as he hates bullies and often got in trouble in the past for trying to kill ones in the most brutal manner.

_Mom never said anything about killing to avenge others...and come on she can't have been talking about not harming anyone in the First Order, that's just silly...!_

**_KR: I so hope that you will get in trouble with her for it..._ **

Again Finn shakes his head. "No, that's a bit much. But scaring them away well..." He grins wolfishly and rubs his hands together.

Ben nods and grins as well. "I can do that."

At last he puts the helmet on and is instantly filled with great regret.

_Was the view always this constricted? Was this helmet always this heavy? I can hardly breathe in this thing...I'm getting dizzy...you lied to me! This is the darkside!_

**_KR: Stop whining it is completely save..._ **

_I better get his over with...before the darkside takes completely over..._

**_KR: Whatever you say..._ **

* * *

 

Ben, now fully dressed as Kylo Ren walks towards the troopers and the thugs, who are still talking and don't turn around until they hear him walk towards them.

_Okay, now I just have to pick up my saber..._

However, there is no need for any lightsaber action, as the thugs run screaming for their lives the minute they lay eyes on him and the troopers do the same.

_Hey, why did the troopers run before I even took up my saber...I've never hurt a comrade, just control panels. Also Snoke forbid me to kill them...as that would kill our budget if we had to hire a new staff daily. Like kind of happened in the Empire because of grandpa's endless killing...not that Snoke liked me destroying control panels either and Hux scolded me for it, so I kind of continued doing it just to annoy him..._

**_KR: Right...but now you are their enemy. Of course the troopers are...even more afraid of you._ **

_Things surely have changed..._

"Yeah! Take that FN-2145 and FN-1897! I'm in charge now, I'm in charge now! I have Kylo Ren by side. Who is weak now, you pricks!?" shouts Finn victoriously and Ben pats his shoulder. "Take it down, they are gone now."

_And I didn't really do anything..._

Finn rubs his neck and smiles apologetic. "Sorry...got a bit carried away..."

Poe shakes his head tiredly while Rey and BB-8 look shell shocked to where the troopers and the thugs disappeared.

"He didn't even have to take them out..." Rey is half awed, half shocked while Poe just shakes his head sternly. "I told you he wasn't a nice man." He glowers at Ben: "You know, this will all go in my...long report to your mom."

_Wha...I didn't do anything...wrong...I think..._

BB-8 and Finn, who agrees with everything Poe says as he is their leader, nod in complete agreement.

_This is so unfair! I was only helping..._

Ben snaps at Poe through his vocoder: "Well, it helped, didn't it? You can return home safely." He looks at Rey and reminds her that he's not a monster anymore, even though he's wearing the helmet of his past.

_I can't take the mask off yet, I'm still in the hero role..._

**_KR: You're such an idiot..._ **

Rey smiles when she remembers he did it for her, as well as as for Finn. "Thanks...you didn't have to do that. I can take care of myself."

But, before Ben can answer her in some cool hero-like manner, the audience who don't look as impressed start to give comments.

"Was this a part of the play...or real troopers?"

"Kind of anticlimactic, if you ask me."

"This is so strange...is this a family drama, action or a comedy?"

"This doesn't make any sense."

"But I really want to know about Rey's family."

"Yeah, where does she come from?"

"Is she related to Kylo Ren?"

Rey is shocked that they are talking about her like she isn't even there, when they most likely know her in real life and her distress, so easily felt in the force makes Ben's blood boil.

_This ends now!_

"There is no play," says Ben/Kylo through the vocoder and turns on his lightsaber.

**_KR: I hate stupid critics...and theories...and everything..._ **

"The helmet! This...weird...lightsaber! There is no question about...this is the real Kylo Ren!"

**_KR: Weird lightsaber...how dare you?!_ **

Despite the fact that the "play", now revealed to be true, said that Kylo Ren had kind of joined the resistance, the audience stills looks afraid, meaning that either they were not paying any attention to the storyline or more likely don't want to risk meeting his wrath at the end of his saber or...the force, which is very wise of them.

"Ren, put away your lightsaber," says Poe in warning tone, but of course Ben ignores him and stalks dangerously over to the audience, who grows even more afraid or at least some of them.

"No, this isn't the real Kylo Ren, that saber is fake...he doesn't even have the force...so lame."

"I said...put away your lightsaber," growls Poe, but Ben is too far gone so he cares even less about what Poe is saying to him.

_They were hurting Rey!_

**_KR: By...talking about her...? But, sure give into your anger, it suits me just fine..._ **

"I will show you the darkside!" Ben lifts his hand up and starts choking the annoying know it all.

_So I don't have the force? In your face! Hey, I didn't know I could still do this!_

**_KR: I decided to help you a bit..._ **

Ben throws the annoying know it all into one of the stalls who grunts in pain.

**_KR: Nice, just like grandpa._ **

"Ren!" shouts Poe behind him, but Ben ignores him also because he keeps using the wrong name.

_My name isn't Ren._

There isn't a single doubt left in the audience any more.

"This is Kylo Ren!"

"No wonder he was so rude to us!"

"But what a family story he has!"

"I kind of want to see the ending..."

"Will Kylo and Rey end up together?"

_That's none of your business! And, no Kylo will never get her!_

**_KR: I'm part of you...so..._ **

Ben uses the force to lift up the tented stalls, intent on throwing them at the people, but before he gets very far the audience runs away in fright, so the marketplace is soon deserted of people...aliens, droids and animals, leaving only Ben with his new shocked gang and one rolling tumbleweed.

Finally the reality of what he had done hits Ben and slowly he gets out of his power trip.

_Oops...maybe this wasn't the brightest idea...turning on my saber...or choking people...or throwing them..._

**_KR: You think...?_ **

_The First Order already knew I was on Jakku...and I got rid of all the annoying audience who dared to pestering my Rey! So no harm done..._

**_KR: Really...your Rey?_ **

_Yeah...no harm done..._

"BEN SOLO!"

* * *

 

Ben nearly jumps out of his skin and with lightspeed turns off his saber and puts it away.

_Just my luck that he would see me at my worst moment...so typical..._

**_KR: This is hardly your worst moment..._ **

Slowly, Ben turns around, expecting to see a certain man, but is shocked to see Poe, livid and stalking dangerously over to him.

_Dad...I mean Poe..._

**_KR: You really need some therapy you know..._ **

"Ouch!"

_He swatted me?! No, you...as technically it was you, as I was still wearing the helmet..._

**_KR: You really want to argue about this? The fact is that you got swatted like a toddler in front of the girl you like..._ **

_This sucks..._

"Hey!" Ben glares down at the BB-8 who had arrived and dared to sap him again.

"Don't sap him, BB-8," rebukes Poe and the droid chirps something shamefully.

_What about you, how about not hitting me?!_

**_KR: You attacked people..._ **

_Still doesn't make it right..._

"No more dark side nonsense, this is your only warning." Poe shakes a finger at him while lecturing.

"Have you gone back to the darkside?" ask Finn, who stands beside Rey, as if Ben suddenly is the greatest threat around and he wants to run far, far away.

Rey looks a bit frightened as well.

"No, I'm still me," replies Ben quickly.

**_KR: I was so close..._ **

Finn exhales relieved while Rey seems confused, as she has no idea of the duality in Ben.

"Then why did you do it? Help me understand," says Poe in a fatherly voice and puts hands on his shoulders.

"People were talking about Rey," replies Ben, who shakes his hands off and gets angry over the reminder.

_Those people are nothing, but trash! How dare they speak of her?!_

Poe sighs. "And why is that a bad thing?"

"They were upsetting her," says Ben like that is some cardinal sin and looks at Rey, who looks surprised that he was thinking of her, when the truth is he hardly thinks about anything else.

"Well, I doubt Rey wants you to kill people for her," says Poe in a firm voice and Finn and BB-8 agree with him.

"I didn't kill anyone!" shouts Ben and Poe shakes his head. "Details, details."

_Hypocrite, it's okay to kill people with blasters, but just because I can use the force I'm the bad guy..._

"Of course, I don't want that...but thanks for protecting me...though like I said...I don't need any protection really," say Rey hurriedly, blushes and turns her head away.

_I made her blush!_

**_KR: And that's going to be your only "victory" for a while..._ **

"See, she didn't like it either," says Poe sternly and Ben dips his helmet head."I won't happen again...sir..."

Poe knocks on his helmet. "Take off your helmet. It must be boiling your brain."

**_KR: Or what's left of it..._ **

Ben takes the helmet off and to his shock, nearly falls over from exhaustion.

"Are you okay?" Rey asks, worried when she how he's staggering after having removed the helmet.

Poe, Finn and even BB-8 look worried as well.

"Yes..." says Ben out of breath and leans on one of the tented stalls and is very tempted to lie down down there and sleep forever.

_The helmet...I can't put it on carelessly. But I can't throw it away either...it can still help us._

**_KR: You better not throw the helmet in the nearest trash can after you are done with it...not after we...lost grandad's helmet..._ **

_Are you crying?_

**_KR: Am not!_ **

"Well, then, be careful and go straight home...to your family," Rey glares at him with her hand on her hips, as if otherwise, she would hunt him down to the end of the galaxy and hit him on his head with her staff, if he didn't follow her orders.

Ben nods fervently, straighten himself up and puts the helmet back in the pouch.

"Don't worry, I will take him home. You should go home yourself," says Poe and pats Ben's head, making BB-8 jealous that demands and gets the same treatment.

_I'm not some lost kitten! And don't send my Rey away!_

"Thank you." Rey smiles relieved, contrary to Finn who still seem to be on his guard even though they are out of danger.

_Is he expecting the knights to appear or something?_

"Good luck finding your own family...I mean, I hope it returns soon..." says Ben, and Poe, Finn and BB-8 for once agree with him.

"Thanks...bye..." She smiles sadly at them and waves goodbye and all except Ben wave after her, as he wants to run after her instead, but Poe holds him in place and shakes his head sternly.

_I can't leave her here! A diamond has no place in a junk yard!_

**_KR: So she is a diamond now?_ **

_She's my everything._

**_KR: Dude, you barely know her..._ **

_Yet, I feel like I've know her my whole life..._

**_KR: I'm so glad she going to be out of your life soon. She has bad influences on you._ **

_No, that's you..._

"Wait!" shouts Finn suddenly and perks his ear, as if he's listening after something.

"What?" Rey turns a bit annoyed over being delayed like that and Poe and BB-8 look questioningly at Finn.

At first Ben thinks Finn is either being overly paranoid or desperately trying to find a way to make Rey stay which he is very grateful for, but really wishes he had been the one to think of that, when he hears what must have filled Finn with this much panic.

_An air strike? From two troopers to tie-fighters?! That's a bit excessive isn't it?_

**_KR: General Hux must be really mad with me...but what is he thinking, he will destroy the droid with the map!_ **

_And more importantly us! Unless I stop it..._

"Can you take out these Tie fighters too?" asks Poe, Ben mockingly, when they see a black Tie-fighter appear in the sky dropping bombs, but when Ben is about to use the force he pulls his ear making Ben ow and runs while lecturing him: "Are you insane?! I was only joking!"

_First he swats me and now he pulls my ear! Who does he think he is?! I'm so going to kill him now!_

**_KR: Control your temper._ **

_Are you telling me to..._

**_KR: Wait until in the rebel base and kill everyone there instead. You still need him..._ **

_No, I don't!_

**_KR: Your mom..._ **

_Oh...right...can't kill him yet and not in front of Rey!_

"Run!" Finn shouts the obvious even though they are already running and takes Rey's hand who is beside him and she shouts at him: "What are you doing?!"

_Yeah, what are you doing! Why are you taking her hand?!_

**_KR: Jealous much...? Do you want to hold her hand?_ **

_No...I just mean, even though she's a girl he doesn't have to hold her hand like that, girls are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves..._

**_KR: Aha...I'm not buying it...for a second..._ **

_Okay then, it sure would beat Poe pulling me around by my ear!_

* * *

 

They zigzag quickly through the market tent maze with the explosions landing all around them, the bombs missing them by a hair breath and destroying the empty tents and wares.

_The scavengers are gonna be so pissed when they see this destruction..._

**_KR: They will mostly like blame you...I mean me..._ **

_That's a small victory..._

**_KR: Oh...and what if your mom blames you too...?_ **

_I...didn't do it! I have witnesses!_

**_KR: But what if they all die..in the explosion?_ **

_Then I just have to make use sure...that at least one of them survives!_

**_KR: You mean Rey..._ **

_Of course...her..._

**_KR: You don't care...at all about Finn and Poe? Or BB-8! What about the map!_ **

_I just realized that mom can't blame me if Poe...along with his stupid report, died in bombing of the First Order...and if Finn died, there one less rival for me, but BB-8 will be perfectly fine...never underestimate a droid!_

**_KR: And I thought I was evil..._ **

_No, I'm not! I just think Rey shouldn't die...or ever...before meeting her family again...and she kind of got dragged into this mess...the poor thing...!_

**_KR: Yeah, yeah..._ **

 

* * *

 

Even with all the ruckus Ben still manages to shout over it, as that is the only way to have a conversation and at Poe while they run into the spaceport. "Let go of my ear! And why did you stop me!? I could have-!"

"You can't take them out without a ship!" shouts Poe back, without of course letting go of his ear or even loosen the hold of it, if anything he tightens it, as if he is afraid Ben wouldn't follow him otherwise and forces Ben to run alongside him or else lose his ear.

"You don't know the powers of the force!" Ben grimaces in pain and desperately wants to either chop Poe's ear pulling hand off or forcepush him into space. The only thing stopping him from making that wish come true is that it would hard to explain to his mother what happened to Poe without getting into big trouble...

"I know it doesn't make you immortal!" shouts Poe back, who has no idea of Ben's intention and maybe doesn't even care as he has other things to worry about, like Tie-fighters bombing them.

"Well...actually...!" yells Ben, turning the heads of Rey and Finn, who are still holding hands and looks like they wouldn't mind getting that immortality now, so they wouldn't have to run for their lives through the spaceport.

Poe sighs and then he shouts: "You're impossible! What should I do with you?"

"I'm not your kid...I mean I'm not a child!" shouts Ben back, though it isn't convincing with Poe pulling his ear and running with him from deadly danger.

"That's not your choice, I've adopted you!"

"Wha...?!" Ben nearly stops in his tracks when he hears that ludicrous remark from Poe, who smirks despite the fact they could be killed by explosion any minute and continues pulling him along in this painful manner. "At least until we find your parents! You need someone to keep you on the lightside! And your mom put me in charge of you!"

_Freaking jerk...from pure hatred to adopting me...those rebels idiot's don't have a middle ground in anything! Unless he did informally just to torment me, he sure likes to see me miserable..._

**_KR: And yet you want to join them._ **

_What! I'm not joining the rebellion...I think..._

**_KR: Your mom will make you their mascot..._ **

_Never!_

A explosion lands close to them, knocking them off their feet and making them all, including BB-8 fall flat into the sand.

* * *

 

_There is one thing good about this and that is I got Poe to let go of my ear! And thankfully without him ripping it off! But Rey, is she okay?!_

"Is everyone okay?" yells Poe, the appointed, but not elected leader and when everyone have grunted or chirped something in response, he stands up to help his temporary charge, but then he sees that Finn needs his help the most and extend his hand to him.

Ben is about to do the same to Rey before Finn steals her from him again or Poe has the bright idea to take his ear once more, when he sees to his surprise, that she runs towards him with BB-8 following behind, as if he's protecting her from the his former enemy.

"Are you alright?" she extends her hand to Ben who blushes furiously.

_She's giving me her hand!_

**_KR: No, you idiot, she's just helping you stand up..._ **

"Yeah...you...?" Ben answers awkwardly, as this is the second time she asks him that and he takes her hand.

She helps him stand up, but he has barely got on his feet or got any answer, when she sprints like someone who's late for appointment, without letting go of his hand with BB-8 rolling behind them.

_There is nothing romantic about this...she's holding my hand, like a little...lost child.._

**_KR: Which you kinda are..._ **

_Very funny...why do everyone think they have to pull me to go along with them? Don't they think I can walk on my own? Not that I mind her...doing it..._

**_KR: Sigh...I'm going to sleep...wake me up when you have got your brain back...then you would see things as they are..._ **

_What's that supposed to mean?_

**_KR: She only picked you, because she didn't want Finn to lead her around again, she wants to be in charge always and of course, because of her obsession about family, she at least wants you get back to yours...you are her pet project..._ **

_That's awfully nice of her..._

**_KR: And you are the easiest to control..._ **

_I don't mind her controlling me..._

**_KR: Sigh...why do I even bother..._ **

Poe, who doesn't seem to be able to stop pulling people with him, has Finn as his newest victim, but instead of pulling his ear, he is holding his hand and Finn hasn't objected to it in anyway, probably because he's too busy running from the bombing.

"Oh so sorry, you're not the toddler," say Poe when he at realizes he's holding hands with Finn.

_The...toddler...?!_

Finn looks down at their intertwined hands. "What...oh...that, don't mind...it's better to stick together."

"Well put! Glad that someone can show a bit of maturity." Poe smiles at him.

_Was that shot at me?_

**_KR: Of course it was._ **

_Not fair he apologies to Finn for holding his hand, while he said nothing after taking my ear!_

**_KR: Would you have liked him taking your hand instead?_ **

_No...I would chop his hand off!_

**_KR: I rest my case._ **

_But, why was he pulling my ear for doing things he told me to do...he asked me to take them out with the force?!_

**_KR: He was joking..._ **

_Well, the joke is on him! If he would've let me, we wouldn't have to run endlessly from them like idiots!_

**_KR: Rey seems to have plan..._ **

_Of course...she does..._

"We can't outrun them!" Finn suddenly shouts and BB-8, who is rolling like madly behind them, chirps something that sounds like he agrees.

_Has Finn forgotten we came on two ship here? Well...technically the old coot's ship is way too slow and the X-wing is too small for five passengers..._

"We might in that quad-jumper!" Rey points straight ahead and just then a bomb blows up Lor San Tekka's ancient ship behind them.

The complete destruction of it, gives Ben a grim satisfaction even though the old coot specifically told him to take good care of it and bring the ship back in one piece after he had used it or there would be consequences...as in more corner time and more yelling by his mom.

_Not my fault, it got blown up!_

"Hey, we are running away from my ship! We should be running towards it!" shouts Poe, who at last stops running blindly after Rey, as he takes in his surroundings after the sand and debris have settled down.

_There are only two seats in it, you can barely take BB-8 with you...were you planning on taking only Finn, because you're sure as hell is not getting Rey!_

"Leave it! We have to find a new one!" shouts Rey as she is the one leading the way, being a native, not to mention it would be a death sentence to turn around.

"You can get it back later!" shouts Finn in a comforting voice, but Rey shakes her head and delivers the harsh truth. "I doubt it, scavengers will be all over it!"

_Ahaha, in your face! I hope it blows up!_

Just then a bomb blows up Poe's newly repaired x-wing not far away and behind them.

_Wow...did I do that?!_

**_KR: No...have you never heard about a lucky coincidence?_ **

"Great...just great. It was my favorite ship you know." Poe scowls at Ben, as if it was indeed his fault that an airstrike destroyed his ship, who whistles innocently, all too happy to take the blame.

"You have more than one?" shouts Finn and looks around as he expecting to see another X-wing.

"Yes, but the others are back at the base!" shouts Poe.

"Spoiled brat," mutters Ben and despite the fact that his quiet voice should not have been heard during all the explosions, Poe shouts at him: "What did you call me? That's no way to talk to your adoptive father!"

Ben really wants to shout at him to shut up, but as he's holding Rey's hand and doesn't want to make him think ill of him, he decided to ignore Poe's teasing for the first time since this adventure began which surprises Poe greatly.

_I did it! I ignored him!_

**_KR: Congratulations..._ **

"What about that one?" shouts Finn innocently and points at ship behind them.

Ben looks over his shoulder and stares in great disbelief at the way too familiar Corellian YT freighter, while Poe seems giddy with joy and BB-8 chirps something worriedly.

_What the...the Falcon is here...of all places! No, no, no!_

**_KR: Oh, and that's a funny coincidence!_ **

"That's one garbage!" shouts Rey venomously as if that ship had had hurt someone she cares about and keeps on running straight to the quad-jumper instead.

_Garbage...?_

**_KR: Haha, garbage...I know one who would have a fit if he ever heard that..._ **

"Garbage?!" shouts Poe in disbelief, as if she had just said that the resistance is wrong and the First Order right, but nevertheless follows her, pulling Finn with him.

_I'm liking this woman more and more...and thank the maker we are not taking the Falcon!_

The quad-jumper blows up right in front of them just as they are about to reach it.

**_KR: Guess you spoke too soon..._ **

_You've got to be kidding me!_

"The garbage will do," declares Rey and turns straight towards the Falcon, with BB-8, Finn and Poe following behind on her heels.

_No, no, no, no! Let me be killed with bombs instead!_

Ben drags his feet, desperate to stay behind, but Rey is having none of that nonsense and pulls him with her as they run up the ramp.

 

_Next up: Escape in the Falcon.._

 


	6. The Escape in the Falcon

They enter the freighter, Rey first with Ben in tow, followed closely by Poe with Finn, who quickly hits a button and the door closes behind them.

BB-8 rolls in a nick of time and chirps angrily at Poe:" _DAD! You forgot me!"_

"So, so sorry! The gunner positions are down there," says Poe, who lets go of Finn's hand, and as the former trooper is so used to following orders, he climbs down without a word, while Rey races with Ben to the cockpit.

Rey had intended on letting go of Ben, but for some reason Ben's hand, who at first had been too warm had gone stone cold and something told her she couldn't let go of him so she nearly has to drag him the whole way.

_What happened to him? I hope he doesn't pass out her on the floor! I wonder if he thinks we were signing our death sentence anyway by entering this junk! But what choice did we have...and we can't give up now?!_

As Ben still is frozen Rey quickly plombs him down in the co-pilot seat, throws her staff into a corner and jumps in the pilot seat.

She flips the controls, furiously while muttering. "I can do this. I can do this!"

Poe reaches over Ben and flips some switch. "The shields are up."

"Whoa! This seat is moving!" shouts Finn from the gunner position. "How do you move in this thing?!"

"I will go help Finn. Stay low, it confuses their trackers."

Rey just nods to Poe's commands, as she seems to be doing things on autopilot. BB-8 follows Poe out of the cockpit and the ships takes off...mostly without a hitch.

* * *

 

Everything feels so weird, like in a dream. Rey is no longer sure what is real and what is fantasy.

For a long while, she was sure she had for some reason been dragged into a stupid improv play and that BB-8 was only finding a innocent volunteer to play some part. That was one the trick the traveling troupes did, but they always tried to find a new way to surprise the easily bored and judgmental audience.

_However, none of the plays spokes so directly to me..._

Through the years she had seen a lot of different plays, one of the few entertainments that the people of Jakku could enjoy and break up their days. Traveling troupes used to come on their tour around the system and Rey always envied them of their freedom to travel, whereas she was stuck on this planet, waiting forever. Of course, she had thought of just joining one of the troupes to find her family, by being world famous, but as she had no acting talent she quickly gave up on that dream.

There was also something that told her to stay and wait, even though she didn't understand what, maybe just the fleeting hope that her family would return to the place they left her and wouldn't find her, if she wasn't at the same place. Logic kept her prisoner, so it was good to sometimes being able to escape into a fantasy world, far, far away..

As a child she was filled with wonder and awe of the tales about the heroes the galaxy, the one who saved the galaxy from the clutches of the Empire in the past and how even Darth Vader himself, the Emperor's right hand, destroyed the Emperor to save Luke, what in a later updated play, was revealed to be his son. She knew all the heroes names by heart, Luke Skywalker the Jedi master, Leia Organa the princess, later revealed to be his twin sister and the smuggler Han Solo, the war hero, who flew the Millennium Falcon along with his co-pilot Chewie and then there were the two faithful droid, Threepio and Artoo...

But all of this was just myths, stories, none of it could be true, not to someone who had never left the planet since she was a child, as the biggest adventure she had ever experienced was finding ship parts to sell and not starve to death.

_But maybe my family is out there trying to save the galaxy and that is why they left me...for the greater good..._

About six years ago, the stories changed and became filled with propaganda about the First Order, about some supreme leader, his right hand Kylo Ren (who for some reason was one of the good guys today) and his knights of Ren. Sometimes a resistance friendly troupe came with their side of the story and Rey was filled with dread, as she had always hoped that her family was just too busy saving the galaxy and that was why the left her and that they would come back for her when the galaxy was safe and now the fight was on once again and who knew how long that would last this time?

However, as the years flew by, the childish innocence faded slowly away, the hope in her heart died and with each passing day, she felt surer that her family were not some heroes, but some unlucky ones who had to evade some enemies or even someone who couldn't be bothered with her.

The darkness in her heart grew stronger with each passing day, she felt more bitter, but also more adamant to survive in case her family would return and then she planned on given them her piece of her mind for leaving her...

_Then he said he could help me find my family..._

Rey wasn't sure whether that was real, part of the play or someone just outright pranking her as the scavengers were certainly known for, as they used to pick on her when she was the youngest and weakest and none of them had really cared about helping her find her family. But, how she desperately wished for it come true, that someone really cared. Rey was done waiting.

One of the things that made her really believe in what was happening before her eyes in the so-called play, was the might of the so-called force, how she could see straight into the mind of Ben or was it Ren? Even though his mind was mostly shrouded in darkness, like she had to wade through a mist to get through the heart of it and to her surprise found some very strong feelings and that everything he had told her was true. This was no play.

_Did that also mean he can help me find my family...?!_

If the might of the force hadn't been enough to convince her, never mind the special effects the traveling troupes had used through the years, his darkside powers was something more closer to magic and the people looked genuinely scared of him, not to mention that the bombing Tie fighters also gave a convincing argument, that this was no dream but all a true reality happening right before her eyes. She had stepped right into the fantasy of her dreams...

 _But...he did it for me...he was angry on my behalf...why?_  For as long as Rey could remember, no one had ever protected her like that and it confused her, as a small warmth spread inside her chest she couldn't put her finger on what was.

_Could this be lov...?_

_You know he's only after your power..._ says a voice, she sometimes hears from when she is at her loneliest, lost and most desperate.

 _What power?_ asks Rey, the voice, who always has a knack to find the worst in everything and seems to try to destroy whatever hope she has left. Usually she ignores it or it doesn't come up at all as Rey beats it without mercy down in order to not lose her mind, but now she was intrigued by what is was saying, but also afraid.

 _He said you were strong in the Force,_ answers the voice. _  
I've no idea what that is...or very little..._

_You should leave this place forever. Your family is never coming back and you know it._

_I can't leave. I've no other place...you know it..._

_Let him train you in the darkside so you can take revenge on your so-called family._

Rey knows she can't let the voice win, she never knew and hardly knows still what it is today, but now knows it must be somehow connected to her powers. The voice can't win or she will lose everything...that is the only thing she is certain of...

_I'm sure something like that happened to Ben Solo or Kylo Ren, that's why his mind is shrouded in darkness...and I don't want...revenge...and from the looks of it darkside is a very bad power...I mean, Poe even punished Ben or was it Ren? For using it..._

_But, don't you want that power? You will never be powerless again..._

_I...just want my family back...wait Ben Solo...could it be that is his father is Han Solo? Nah, there are probably more Solos around..._

* * *

 

"Everything alright here?

Rey is startled to find Poe suddenly standing behind her and staring at her.

_How long have I been spaced out like that? I shouldn't space out while flying! What am I thinking?! Is Poe here to scold me?_

To Rey's great relief, they are still airborne and no sign of them, losing altitude, despite the Tie-Fighters constantly trying to shoot at their tail.

_Did I...use this force thing or something...?_

A Tie-Fighter blows up, followed shortly with Finn shouting in the back: "Wohoo!" Rey could just imagine him punching the air in happiness. "I did it, POE!"

"WELL DONE! He is really good at this," remarks Poe. "I didn't have to teach him that much, as soon as he got used to the moving seat." He adds the last in a calm voice, clearly a battle veteran who has seen a lot and isn't the least frightened by the seemly endless pursuit of the Tie-Fighters.

"Oh, sorry. You're a pilot too...I just followed my instinct..." Rey bites her lower lip in embarrassment for having stolen the pilot seat like that. She is not used to having other people to rely on and instead having to do everything herself.

Poe smiles despite their circumstances. "Don't worry, you're doing great. Besides, I know he would rather have you pilot this ship than me." He pats Ben's head, but to his surprise, Ben doesn't react in any way, but only stares into space.

"What does he care?" asks Rey.

_Why has he shut down? I didn't know he was a droid..._

"You could say it's his family heirloom." "Hello, is anybody home?" He knocks lightly on Ben's head and frowns when there is still no reaction from him. "Do you want me to call your mother and have her pick you up?"

"Family...heirloom...?"

 _And you called it a garbage!_ The voice scolds her, as it also has to criticize her and really rub in her mistakes.

_How was I supposed to know...it's falling apart...what was it doing here in the first place? I know it got stolen...Could he be like this because I called his family heirloom...a garbage? Is it my fault...?!_

"'But, I'm impressed. You seem to have everything under control. Let me know if I can help you. Remember to stay low," says Poe and is about to return to the gunner position with BB-8, when Rey stops them by saying: "I'm fine, thank you. You should be more worried about..." Rey nods her head at Ben, who looks like a zombie. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick? Do we need to find a medic?"

_Maybe it's just the heat...he nearly passed out earlier..._

Poe puts his hand on Ben's forehand to take his temperature. "Wow...he's stone cold..."

_Cold...but not warm?!_

BB-8 shoots out his electric arm.

"Hmm, yeah, try that..but only once.." says Poe, but when BB-8 sapps him and Ben still shows no reaction, Poe grabs his wrist to take his pulse. "Okay, now I'm scared...phew he still has a pulse, the general would've had my head if something happened to him while under my care. Must be a Jedi thing. He will come back when he's ready...I hope..." Poe runs a hand, exasperated through his own dark hair. "You better come back, Ben..."

_Come back...he better come back..._

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?" asks Rey quickly before a painful memory resurfaces and Poe waves a hand in front of Ben's face, who only stares blankly ahead. "I don't know him that well...but...I guess you could say that the past has caught up with him in more ways than once."

"Huh, what do you mean?"

_Because of this ship?_

"I will explain later, focus on evading this Tie-fighters. I will help Finn shot the rest of them down." Poe pats BB-8 on his way to the other gunner position. "Watch over our troublemaker and let me know if he shows any change."

" _Yes, dad..."_ chirps BB-8, who stares intently at frozen Ben and looks to be ready to sap him if he misbehaves.

_Even the droid has a family...but, what did he mean by the past has caught up to him? What's going on with him...? Well, whatever is going on with him...I will protect him...just like he protected me...I will bring him back to his family...and then I will return to Jakku..to wait for my own..._

 

* * *

 

_**KR: Calm down, this ship has been lost for many years. What are the odds of your father finding it now? None.** _

_Are you...helping me?_

_**KR: I don't want you to have a complete meltdown, I still need you...you know...** _

_For...what?_

_**KR: For instance, you could bring Rey to the supreme leader.** _

_What?! Why in the...?_

_**KR: She's strong in the force. She needs a teacher.** _

_You know, he will kill me if he gets another student. Besides, I'm a way better teacher than stupid Snoke..._

_**You?** _

_Yeah, uncle often got me to help him with the little padawans._

_**Yes...because they were at your level...** _

_Not true and shut up, I'm trying to enjoy my alone time with Rey._

_**KR: Alone... stuck in your head...** _

_I'm shy...and this way I won't make a fool out of myself..._

_**KR: You are trying to escape, you know. How about helping out a bit instead of having a meltdown?!** _

 

* * *

 

"Aren't the shields up yet?!" shouts Finn.

"I need a working co-pilot!" shouts Rey back.

_Working...co-pilot...?_

"Don't worry, the shields are already up...they just aren't working perfectly. Ben, won't you do the honors?" says Poe and shakes him violently.

"Huh.. honors... wha... where...?" asks Ben in a groggy voice.

_Where am I...oh no!_

"Finally, you are up! Do something useful, be the co-pilot." Poe points at the control panel in front of him.

Ben is really tempted to just snatch up his lightsaber and destroy the control panel, but two things stop him, one it would bring them swiftly to their deaths and that's not fair to Rey and two, his dad would haunt him if he did anything to the Falcon.

"Don't even think about it, Ren," says Poe warningly and slaps his hand away from the lightsaber hilt in his belt, which Ben had unconsciously reached for.

Ben glares at him, though deep inside he's thankful that he stopped him for doing a horrible mistake.

"Ren as in Kylo Ren? I'm so confused...you have two names. I thought your name was Ben, Ben Solo? Which it?" ask Rey with a puzzled expression, which Ben think makes her look adorable, but all her adorableness aside, he answers her: "Ben. The other was my darkside name."

_**KR: Is your darkside name.** _

"Darkside...oh like how Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader," asks Rey and Ben lifts an eyebrow. "Yeah...how do you know about that?"

"A saw a play once...is it really true that he is Luke's and Leia's father?" ask Rey excitedly.

_A play...about one of the most well guarded secret in the galaxy?!_

"Yes...and as Leia is my mom, he was my grandpa..." replies Ben.

"Grandpa!" shouts Rey.

_**KR: And the coolest grandpa ever!** _

_Except we never met him..._

_**KR: Which sucks! But we went to check out his castle on Mustafar. It was so cool!** _

_Yeah...it was..._  
"Hello, take the controls...now." Poe points back at the control panel as he doesn't seem to care in the least about Ben's awesome family history, only that they can survive this pursuit and get off the planet to the resistance.

_**KR: At least he has his priorities straight...though he has a funny way of doing things...** _

Ben crosses his arms. "No, you do it. I don't like the idea of flying this particular ship...I'm going to find an escape pod..." He stands up, but Poe pushes him back into the seat and puts the seat belt on him.

"Hey!" shouts Ben and plans on unfastening the seat belt, but Poe stops him by grabbing his hand. "You're not going anywhere on my watch. Stop being so stubborn!"

"Oh, come on. I thought you dreamed of flying...this...this ship," whines Ben.

_Why is he forcing me to pilot it?!_

_**KR: Yeah...what is he trying to prove...?** _

"This...ship?" ask Rey and looks skeptically around what she called garbage and Ben can't really blame her as the ship looks to be falling apart, which mirror exactly how he is feeling.

_I can't do this...I can't!_

Poe nods to Ben's earlier question and lets go of him, so he can move. "Yes, always dreamed of it, but this is more important to you."

_Is he trying to be nice...or a jerk?_

_**KR: Jerk..obviously...** _

"Well, I don't like it! And you can't make me!" shouts Ben and tries to reach for his saber, intent on cutting through the belt and maybe bit of Poe, like his stupid hair, on the way, that would show him!

"Put your saber away. You need this to be able to move forward," says Poe sternly and grabs his saber grabbing hand.

"You can't force me!" snarls Ben and thrashes in his grip when suddenly Poe lets go of him and lift his hands in the air, like he's giving up.

"Maybe you don't know how to fly...?" says Poe and Ben snarls, insulted: "Of course I know how to fly! I even learned to fly on this...thing!"

"Wow..I envy you so much!" Poe grins, but Ben shakes his head. "Don't...It wasn't much fun."

"Maybe you were just bad learner." Poe shrugs and Ben, who is too tired to retort replies: "Maybe..."

"Guys! We don't have time for this! Take the controls now!"

Ben obeys Rey instantly and the minute he takes the control and just as he feared, he's bombarded with memories from his long forgotten past.

* * *

 

" _No! That's the button for the lightspeed!" shouted his father at him and grabbed Ben, who was a toddler at that time and had somehow managed to crawl into the empty co-pilots chair and was about to push the forbidden button._

_After that I wasn't allowed back in the cockpit._

_**KR: Never?** _

_Well, no...he also tried to teach me how to fly..._

_**KR: I trust it didn't go too well.** _

" _No, no. Where is your head at boy?" His father pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, but you're not ready for this."_

" _I am ready! We haven't even left the spaceport yet! Grandpa Ani was flying a podracer when he was nine! I'm ten!" shouted Ben indignantly and pointed out the views shield, as they had barely started and already his father had given up._

" _Well, he was also the chosen one...and had no dad to say no to that stupidity..." His father lifted him from the seat and onto the floor. "Come on, let's play chess instead...far safer." He took his hand, but Ben dragged his feet, intent on winning this battle: "How old were YOU when you started flying?"_

_His father sighed. "That has nothing to do with this. No, we will wait until you're much older...preferably twenty..no thirty...it's much safer." He picked him up, put him in the sofa and turned on the chess piece._

" _Thirty?! Can't I just try a smaller ship first?" begged Ben and his father pretended he was thinking it over. "Let me see...no. And you know, your mom will agree with me."_

_One of the chess pieces lunged into another and threw it to the ground, which was like how Ben felt at the moment, defeated and humiliated..._

_You're right...I didn't really learn to fly until I got another instructor...many years later, when I was a teen, but I often was a stowaway on the ship, forcing dad to bring me on dangerous missions, which really pissed him off and several days after that lesson I even tried to steal the Falcon..._

* * *

 

"BEN!"

"Wha...what...?" Ben is drawn away from his memories by Poe shouting at him:"You can't space out now. We need you to control this thing. Watch what you are doing!"

"I don't understand why you can't be the co-pilot, aren't you like one of the best pilot in the galaxy...?" Ben sugar coats his voice.

_Pretty please...I can't have more memories tormenting me...!_

_**KR: You know, Poe loves to torment you...** _

Poe smiles. "I'm flattered, but that is only your words not mine. Come on, you can do it." He pats his shoulder encouragingly.

_No! I can't! Endless memories!_

"I need some help here!" shouts Finn in desperation and Poe blinks him as he leaves for the other gunner's position. "I will help Finn take down these endless Tie-fighters. I will leave you two alone...well with BB-8..."

"Poe!" shouts Ben, but Poe is long gone, leaving only BB-8 who chirps something and Ben is seething because of the unfairness of it all.

_Stupid rebel...rebelscum..._

"Would you rather be the main-pilot...?" ask Rey, as if what really is bothering Ben, is that he's stuck as the co-pilot in his family ship and for some reason that's beneath him.

Ben shakes his head. "No, you are doing just fine."

_To get through this...I need guidance from the force..._

* * *

 

But the minute Ben shuts his eyes, Rey shouts at him:"What are you doing? You can't fly with with your eyes closed! Are you doing this to spite, Poe?! This is no joke you know!"

"Ben, behave!" shouts Poe in the back and as on command BB-8 saps Ben.

"Ouch! HEY! I'm using the force!" snaps Ben back without opening his eyes.

_Stupid, stupid rebel scum!_

"Can you use the force for anything?" asks Rey in disbelief.

"You might say so. Try it yourself. Trust the force," says Ben and doesn't get far in getting strength from the force as Rey continues shouting: "I'm not closing my eyes like an idiot!"

"I will have you know, that my unca Luke destroyed the first Death Star by closing his eyes like an idiot!" snaps Ben, his eyes open up and he blushes.

"Unca?" ask Rey puzzled.

_**KR: Hehe, unca...?** _

_I misspoke...shut up..._

"My Jedi...uncle..." corrects Ben himself.

"Okay...but, wasn't it just a lucky shot?" asks Rey.

_**KR: True, he could've been lying to look better...your family lied about lot...like the fact that you had the coolest grandpa in the galaxy!** _

"Fine...but still trust the force." Ben shuts his eyes again.

"Okay...I will try that..."

"Do or do not there is no try."

_**KR: I thought you hated that line...** _

"That'a load of bull! There is always a try first!" shouts Rey.

_**KR: Well said!** _

"Just do it!" shouts Ben while he desperately tries to get guidance from the force despite all the noise.

"Fine..." replies Rey, defeated and starts to use the force.

_I didn't know teaching was this hard..._

_**KR: I understand a bit now why your uncle was such a prick to us, all the time...** _

_Me too...we...or well I wasn't exactly the best of student..._

_**KR: And you plan on meeting him again...** _

_No...that wouldn't be wise...I'm just delivering the map to mom...nothing else!_

_**KR: He must be so pissed at you..** _ _._

_More like angry...or as angry as a Jedi is allowed to be..._

_**KR: He probably has some awful punishment lined up for you like always...** _

_Like lines..._

_**KR: Well that and...** _

"Wohooo! That was the last of them!" shouts Finn.

_Wha...what happened...? Is it over...already?!_

* * *

 

Ben opens up his eyes and witness as the last Tie-Fighters gets blown up and they fly out of the atmosphere, straight into space.

_**KR: You weren't paying attention...just like in the Jedi Academy...** _

_I hope know one realized that..._

"Amazing job, Finn!" shouts Poe and Ben can hear the clanking of the ladder as they both climb up from their gunner positions.

"Thanks!" shouts Finn and Ben can hear them, give each other high fives before they walk into the cockpit to join the rest of the gang.

"And really, well done, Rey!" Poe gives her a high five as well.

"Thanks...I have never left the planet, but I have flown before..." says Rey and gives Finn a double high five, like they had just won a big sports game instead of winning a aerial battle. "We did it!"

_A natural flyer...dad would like her. Nothing like me..._

_**KR: He didn't really give you any chance...** _

"You too, BB-8," Poe kneels and pets BB-8.

BB-8 chirps something happily.

_Of course Poe won't say anything to me..._

Ben feels a little hurt over being left out of the celebration, even though he didn't really do anything, but to be frank BB-8 didn't do squat either! The he notices how Poe is staring at him with a strange expression.

_**KR: Why is that idiot staring at you?** _

_Probably plans to scold me for not paying attention in a life-threatening battle..._

"You did well too!" Poe smirks, attacks and ruffles Ben's hair.

_Hey! Only my mom or dad...I mean nobody gets to touch my hair!_

_**KR: Not even Rey...?** _

_Rey can do anything to me..._

_**KR: Of course she can...** _

Ben bats Poe's hand away after an awful long petting. "I didn't really do anything. Great job, Rey." He smiles at Rey, who smiles back and replies: "Thanks...you too."

_Phew...she has no idea I left it all to her..._

_**KR: But at the same it makes you kind of useless...** _

_Why do you have to ruin everything?!_

"High five?" Rey turns to Ben and timidly lifts up hand.

_Is she asking me...for a high five?_

_**KR: No...armless BB-8...** _

_Really...? Not me...?_

_**KR: Do I have to spell out everything for you? Where does your brain go when you look at that girl? Of course it's you!** _

Ben turns scarlet and can't look at her when he lifts up his hand and she high fives him.

Then he lowers his hand and stares at it, as if she had just given him million credits.

Poe grins when he notices that and Ben turns his head sharply to him, when he realizes his secret is out.

_Oh, no. He saw!_

_**KR: Right...because you have hidden your feelings towards her so well...** _

_He will definitely use it against me somehow! Like start hitting on Rey!_

_**KR: Hmm...I'm not so sure about that...** _

Instead Poe turns to Finn, who seems to be clueless about everything and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Finn how about some chess to relax after this and to celebrate our escape?" Poe points behind them, at the holochess on the table in front of the comfortable sofa.

"Sounds good to me." Finn flashes him a smile, all too happy to not having to sit in the gunner position any longer and to be able to relax in a sofa.

"Good luck..." mouths Poe at Ben behind him and blinks him teasingly.

_Is he playing a matchmaker now...?_

_**KR: That guy is an enigma...** _

"Come, BB-8." Poe waves at BB-8 to follow them, who chirps something and rolls after him and Finn to the holochess table in the back.

* * *

 

After Poe had left with Finn and BB-8, an awkward silence ensues between Rey and Ben.

_Shiiit...what should we talk about..?!_

"I told you, you were strong in the force," says Ben at last.

_**KR: You know talking about the force...is kinda like speaking about the weather...you should ask her about something personal...like her hobbies...** _

"You keep saying the force, this and that, but what is it anyway? I have heard about it, but..." says Rey and hopes that Ben will finish her sentence, which he is happy to do: "It's a energy that surrounds us and binds together every living thing. You need a teacher...I can show you the way of the force...at least until you can meet unca...master...Luke..."

_**KR: And you said unca again...like when you were a toddler...and are you really going to send her alone to Luke?** _

_It's safer...wait no, I don't want to send her away!_

"Thanks for the offer, but I have to get back to Jakku after I've brought you to the resistance..." says Rey firmly, as he had planned otherwise on packing her in a container.

"I will help you find your family," offers Ben again.

_**KR: Hmm, will but not can...are you sure you should be making promises like that?** _

"Look, it's awfully nice of you and all, but there is nothing you can do to help. I just have to keep on waiting for them to return. They will...one day. Besides, you are going back to your own right or at least to your mom?" Rey glares at him. "Or else..."

_I will at least bring mom the map...but I'm never meeting uncle, never and dad...well,, never ever either..._

_**KR: You know how much a stickler she is for family staying together...I wouldn't say anything more if I were you...** _

"I guess.. _._ but it's not that simple..." begins Ben and ignores Kylo's advice as he looks in deep thought, through the view shield into the endless space.

_**KR: Are you really planning on telling her the truth...?! It's not too late to back out!** _

_I hate lies..._

"How so...?" asks Rey and Ben turns to her, guilt written over his face. "I may have abandoned...my family..."

Ben could've just as well spit in Rey's hair, she looks livened and her nostrils flare, as she reaches for her staff in the corner.

_Oh, o! Maybe I shouldn't have said that..._

_**KR: You're so dead man...** _

 

_Next up: Rey snaps... (a painful family history)_


	7. A painful family history

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ben is in for a world of hurt..

"WHAAAT! THAT IS THE CRUELEST THING...! How dare you?!" Rey looks at her staff in the corner and back at Ben, who waves his hands desperately in front of him when he sees her intention: "But, I'm going back! I swear! I'm going back!"

_Rey's worst memory plays repeatedly in her head, whereas she is a small girl holding Unkar Plutt's hand and watching a shuttle leaving her behind and shouting:,,No, come baaack!"_

_No, come back...No come back...Come back...COME BACK YOU KRIFFING JERKS! I HATE YOUUU GUUYS SOOO MUUUCH!_

Rey frowns at him and gets her staff. "You better! You have no idea how it hurts to have your family leave you!" She hits him several times over his head to really knock that statement in. "YOU, NAUGHTY, EVIL, BRATTY, BAD, BOY!"

Ben grimaces and covers his head from the onslaught of her staff. "OW, OW! YES, I DO!"

"You do?" Rey's anger deflates as quickly as a sun being drained on the Star Killer base. "Maybe I overreacted a bit..."

"YOU THINK?!" growls Ben at her, just as Poe walks into the cockpit. "Is everything alright? Ben, what did you do?" He frowns at Ben, as if he is a instigator in a sibling rivalry.

BB-8, who follows him and chirps angrily: " _I told you, he couldn't be trusted!"_

Finn nods, where he sits at the chess table and Poe shakes his head. "Really, I can't leave you alone for..."

"Hey, SHE hit me!" Ben points at Rey who is still holding the staff, as a evidence and Rey's survival instinct, makes her quickly hide it behind her back.

"You must have said something rude...or really pissed her off in some way..." says Poe matter-of-factly.

_More like...painful..._

"Apologize to her!" snaps Poe at Ben, but before Ben can retort, Rey interjects: "No, it was my fault...I'm really sorry about that...my temper got the best of me..." She shamefully throws the staff back into the corner.

"It's okay...I'm really sorry for what I said...but you! Do something useful for a chance and find me some bacta patches," Ben commands Poe like he's an emperor.

"Sure thing. Finn, BB-8 make sure he behaves while I'm gone, "says Poe before he disappears in the back.

"Yes, sir," says Finn and BB-8 chirps in agreement as he returns to the chess table, while Ben hold his head and grimaces in agony and grumbles something audible, that sounds a lot like  _,,Rebelscum."_

_But, I was the one who hit him..._

"Umm...how did your family abandon you...?" asks Rey tentatively. "Do you want some ice on your head...?"

_What if he was also left on some desert rock...screaming after his family to return?! And I was so mean to him?!_

"I was sent away to Jedi training with my unca Luke when I was ten. I haven't meet my parents since...not that they were ever home anyway..." mumbles Ben, rubs his sore head fervently and pouts: "I wouldn't mind the ice, but I doubt there is any aboard this stupid ship..."

_Oh...that's somewhat similar, but yet extremely different to mine...at least he was left behind with his cool Jedi uncle! Not some stupid scavenger that hates you and makes your life miserable! And at the very least he remember his parents...he got to know them...he's meeting them again...right...?_

"Then how exactly did you abandon your family?" ask Rey in the vain hope of doing some damage control and justifying somewhat her earlier cruel treatment of him.

"Six years ago I found my own path...I joined the darkside...and the First Order...until I realized my mistake...that's why I'm going back home...after all this years...to make things right..."

_Oh...of course he abandoned his family by turning to the darkside and joining the enemy side...it's not like he could keep personal life and work separated behind the enemy lines...or maybe he didn't even want to, which is even worse!_

_Hopefully my own family will one day come back to it's senses as well...I just hope they didn't turn evil and that's why they left me...that would suck..._

_But, I feel a little less guilty about hitting him now, he had it coming for turning evil! His family must have been so hurt over his betrayal and they must have been waiting forever for him to return. I can't wait for their reunion, they will be so thrilled...but there will probably be some yelling too and some, hopefully not too harsh, punishments...their relationship will most likely take some time to heal...hopefully not too long!_

_But, what I don't understand is why they send him away in the first place...does a Jedi training take such an awful long time? Didn't he want to become a Jedi and was send away anyway? That would suck..._

"Is that why you don't like it?" asks Rey and looks around the ship, which is supposed to be his family heirloom.

_Too many hard memories?_

"Like what...to be beaten over the head? I thought nobody like that..." snaps Ben at her, who is still rubbing his sore head and Rey shakes her head. "No, this ship. I thought it was your family heirloom..."

"It's his father's ship." Poe returns with bachta patches and hands it over to Ben who rips them from him and puts them over his head.

"Oh... so sorry that I called garbage..." says Reys.

_First I insult his father's ship, then I beat him...he sure must hate me now..._

"It's okay...though my...father would have fit had he heard you talk about his precious...baby like that...Poe, you idiot, these have to be ice cold or they don't work!" He throws the patches at Poe who grabs them and adds to Ben's explanation as if that would explain everything: "It's the Millenium Falcon."

"WHAT? Rey looks excitedly around the ship she thought up to this point was only a garbage. "NO, NO WAY!"

_I'm flying the Millennium Falcon! I'm living the dream! But it still a garbage...ancient junk...this belongs in a museum!_

"Wait...the Millennium Falcon...so your dad really is the legendary smuggler Han Solo?!"

"The war hero?" ask Finn in the back, who looks up from the chess table and BB-8 chirps something similar.

"Don't remind me." Ben huffs and whines: "Poe..."

"I will put these in the freezer, your highness." Poe gives him a mock bow and walks away.

"Why not? I thought you were going back home?" asks Rey.

"To my mom, not and never ever to him. I don't even know where he is...not like that is anything new..." mutters Ben bitterly.

"That's not nice!" Rey reaches over for her staff, but decides against it at the last moment.

_I really have to control my temper..._

Poe returns with the bacta patches. "Here you go."

"Thanks..I mean about time!" Ben snaps them away from him and puts them on his head. "Now, leave us in piece."

Poe smirks and leaves them so they can be alone together in the cockpit, despite the fact Rey just attacked Ben.

_Not a very good guardian..._

"You have to go back to both of your parents, or isn't a family reunion! Wait, do you have a sibling too?" asks Rey from where the left off before Poe arrived.

_Considering how everyone important seems to be related to him, it wouldn't come as a surprise..._

"No and I have my reasons for not wanting to meet him..." before Ben can elaborate what he means by that, Poe, the very bad guardian, returns with the words: "I just realized it not exactly wise to have you as the co-pilot. Go and lie in the sofa, but don't fall asleep! You might get a concussion."

"Yeah...yeah...dad..." Ben stagers on his way to the sofa, flops down into it, opposite from Finn who's playing chess with BB-8 and seems to be losing and Ben rambles: "Stupid dad...where are you...? Why are you never there when I need you...?"

_I hope he's alright..._

* * *

 

" _Daddy! Daddy!" shouted Ben as toddler and ran into the embrace of his father._

" _What is it kid?" His father picked him up and Ben pouted. "My head...hurts."_

_But, this was no ordinary headache. However, his mom had told him couldn't tell his dad the truth about the voice tempting him to the darkside, as his dad wouldn't understand and it might anger him needlessly as he couldn't do anything to stop it._

" _I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want a painkiller?" His father furrowed his brows in worry over his constant headaches._

" _Yes, but first...mom always does this..." Ben dipped his head and pointed at the top of it._

" _Okay, kid." His father kissed the top of his head. "Is it better now?"  
_ " _Much better! Thanks daddy!" Ben hugged his father and kissed him on the cheek to repay his debt._

" _Any time kiddo..." His father smiled and kissed him on his head again._

* * *

 

_**KR: You miss him...** _

_Do not._

_**KR: Maybe your mom already contacted him...** _

_I doubt it...he's always been hard to get a hold off..._

_**KR: Haha, I knew it, you miss him!** _

" _Okay fine...maybe the tiniest bit. I just wish I could at least send him a voice message. It would put my mind at ease...so he wouldn't come after me..._

_**KR: Come after you? Are you a fugitive or something?** _

_I was a prisoner of the darkside._

_**KR: Hmm...** _

_But no I mean, in bringing me home...like he always did when I ran away in the past, the only thing that caught his attention and brought him home...for a short time._

* * *

 

" _Kid, this is your last chance. Stop running away!" His father grabbed him where he found him hiding in a bush in front of their house. With a scowl he carried him inside._

" _But, you're never home!" shouted Ben, as the walked up the stairs to his bedroom._

" _You have to stay with your mother," said his father._

" _She's never home either! Always on some stupid endless meetings!" shouted Ben and that made his father stop in his track._

" _You're home alone?" he asked in utter bewilderment and looked around the seemly empty apartment._

" _No...with Threepio...as always..." said Ben with a frown, not that he disliked Threepio, he just wanted to have his parents with him too._

" _Sorry about that kid...but I've to work, your mom too. You will understand when you're older." His father ruffled his hair and Ben shouted: "No, I won't as I will never leave you or anyone!"_

" _That's nice to hear kid." His father smiled, put in bed and tugged him in. "I can stay with you for now," His father read him a bedtime story until he fell asleep._

" _I love you dad," mumbled Ben in his sleep._

_But he was long gone when I woke up..._

" _Fuck you dad!"_

" _Language, Ben," said mom who had returned. "And that's no way to speak about your hardworking father..."_

 

* * *

 

_**KR: He didn't try to bring you home from the First Order.** _

_No, he didn't...I'm kind of pissed of that he didn't...I don't understand why...he never even picked me up from uncle Luke either...I was waiting forever for the Falcon to show up on the horizon and bring me back home!_

_**KR: So you really do miss him...** _

" _I...it's been too many years...and if I could send him a message I would say this."_

* * *

 

" _Hi, dad. It's me Ben. I've come back to the lightside and I'm on my way to mom. No thanks to you! But no need to worry, I will take care of myself as always!_

_Bye forever._

_P.S I have the Falcon not YOU! Haha...in your face!_

* * *

 

_**KR: Wow...someone is bitter...** _

_He was never there for me in the past. It's too late now...he most likely disowned me when I turned to the darkside._

_**KR: That's not what your mom said...** _

_Stop acting like my counselor, you're an evil voice in my head. I'm not listening to you!_

_**KR: Often I am the voice of reason..** _

_Shut up...and wait I thought you said that family makes you weaker...why are you bugging me about my dad?_

_**KR: It would be so funny to see the look on your face if he were to show up unexpectedly...** _

_You're so evil..._

_**KR: It's in the job description...** _

_What's that awful sound!_

_**KR: That's just my voice...** _

_No, there is something else!_

* * *

 

A sizzling sound, kind of like in boiling kettle rolls around in Ben's skull, as loud as alarm bells.

_Oof my head..who is making that sound...I bet it's Poe, probably whistling some god awful songs like the Hub Nub song or Jedi Rock, my least favorite songs! Just to annoy me! I better chop of his head so he knows how I feel in my head!_

_**KR: I strongly advise against that...** _

_Did she have to hit me this hard...? My head is still spinning..._

_**KR: How about not hitting you at all? She could've killed you...** _

_I don't mind her killing me..._

_**KR: Sigh...I expected as much...but her temper is way way worse than yours, and I didn't even think that was possible, but that is really good for the darkside. I wish I could transport over to her and ditch you for good.** _

_You can...transport yourself?_

_**KR: No...** _

_Thank the maker...but who's making that awful sound?!_

"Knock that off!" shouts Ben, startling Finn and BB-8 who are playing Dejarik battle, but on mute and in complete silence.

"We are not even talking," replies Rey surprised from the cockpit and Ben sits up, still holding his head.

"Then what's that sound?" he asks frustrated.

_Is it just inside my head? Great...just what I needed, a terrible noise on a top of a terrible voice._

_**KR: I wouldn't call myself terrible...** _

"What sound...?" Poe perks his ears, where he sits in the co-pilot seat and his puzzled expression says he hears something strange as well. Finn, BB-8 and Rey do as well and Rey, who at last figures out where the sound is coming from, jumps up and run to the lounge. She shouts when she has found the culprit: "This whole place is going to blow up and fill everything up with a poisonous gas!"

Ben groans. "Okay, this is a piece of junk...don't tell my father that I just said that..."

"Ben, help me fix this!" shouts Rey and Ben, takes the bacta patch off, puts them on the holochess table and reluctantly stands up from the sofa, his head still spinning, as he staggers to her.

_Why me...?_

_**KR: You know the ship...** _

Poe jumps into the pilot seat. "I will take over the main controls while you deal with this. Finn, be my co-pilot." He buckles himself in.  
"What! But, I don't how to fly this...thing!" shouts Finn and BB-8 rolls after him.

"It's only temporary. Relax...it far more worrying if they don't manage to fix that in the back..." says Poe.

"That does not make me feel better," shouts Finn alarmed and BB-8 chirps something loudly.

_Why does everyone have to shout everything?! Even BB-8!_

"Hurry up!" shouts Rey, even though she's is the reason Ben is so slow at the moment.

"Please don't shout..." Ben feels like he has the worst hangover in the galaxy.

"Sorry, but we don't have much time!" Rey continues shouting, despite her apology.

* * *

 

In the lounge, Ben helps Rey lift up the grating where burst of steam is coming from under. She jumps down into the grating area.

"Do you know how to fix this?" asks Rey, when she sees what the problem is.

"A little..." Ben remember vaguely when a similar problem came up in the past, but what his tired and sore brain doesn't remember is how his dad and Chewie fixed it.

Rey sees his hesitation. "Well, I'm used to fix things. We will be fine." She gives him a reassuring smile. "Just hand me the right tools." She extends a hand to him, with her palm up and that single gesture, sends a wave of memories into Ben's head.

He remembers exactly how to fix this and rapidly he hands Rey the appropriate tools, before she even has to ask for them. She looks at him surprised, but doesn't comment on that as they work together in quiet, which something Ben is extreme grateful for, on fixing it.

Soon the problem has been solved.

 

* * *

 

"FIXED IT!" shouts Rey so the guys in the cockpit can hear, making Ben ears ring, while she wipes sweat of her brow.

"You're brilliant Rey!" shouts Finn back.

"Well, done Rey!" shouts Poe as well.

BB-8 chirps something happily.

"Great job, Rey." Ben helps her climb out of the grating area.

"Do you guys have to praise me for everything?" Rey lifts an eyebrow and wipes her dirty hands on her pants.

"Yes..it's a nice thing to do..." replies Ben awkwardly and returns to lie back in the sofa.

"But, it was mostly you who fixed it." Rey sits beside him, which surprises Ben as he had expected her to return to piloting by hopefully kicking Poe out of the pilot chair.

"I wasn't down in the grating area." replies Ben matter-of-factly, though his heart is about to burst to have her so close to him.  
"Okay, then it was a team effort," says Rey and Ben shrugs. "I guess..."

"I'm really sorry about your head." Rey hands him disregarded bacta packs from the table and Ben gratefully accepts them.

"Don't worry about that...I kind of deserved it..." Ben puts the batcha patches, but they have gotten to warm from being on the table and don't work any more, and as Ben is too tired to yell at Poe to do something about it, he lies back down.

"Yeah, you kind of did...for turning evil I mean. You better not turn evil again..." says Rey warningly as if otherwise, she would hit him again with her staff.

"I'm not turning evil...to the darkside again. What happened at the marketplace didn't count...it wasn't pure darkside," replies Ben pitifully.

_**KR: No, you were just you having a jealousy tantrum because they were talking about the girl you like...** _

"How do you turn evil...?" asks Rey and the question startles Ben, who sits up and stares at her. "Why do you want to know?" He puts the useless batcha patches away on the table.

_**KR: There is great darkness in her...** _

_But also great deal of light..._

_**KR: Darkness is way cooler...** _

"I'm afraid...of some feelings..." Rey rubs her arms, as if she had gone cold and Ben is tempted to wrap his arms around her, but decides against it and only pats her shoulder.

"I don't want to turn to the darkside..." Rey looks him straight in the eye. "Can you help me avoid it?"

_**KR: But it's so cool!** _

"That's good to hear and I've been down that path...but, do you mind if we talk about this later? I'm kinda...worn out..." Ben gives her a pathetic and apologetic smile.

_I'm not in the mood for teaching..._

_**KR: I can teach her!** _

_You leave her alone!_

"Is your head getting worse?" Rey puts a hand on his forehead to check for temperature and Ben, moves away from her as if her touch is burning him.

"No, no is better...I'm just tired..." he mutters shamefully.

_It's tiring having to wrestle with a voice in your head..._

_**KR: And not die of love sickness...** _

Rey stands up. "Okay...try to rest. I will try to find some painkillers..."

"Thanks..." He smiles at her and lies back down.

_Ah, finally I can rest in peace..._

"Did you fix this with your dad?" asks Rey suddenly.

_Did she have to bring him up?!_

"Yes...and Chewie..." replies Ben sourly, as he really doesn't want to talk about any of this and just rest.

Rey's eyes grow wide in wonder. "You, know Chewie?"

"Of course...I do..." replies Ben.

"That's so awesome!" she exclaims.

_She's such a fangirl..._

_**KR: We are Darth Vader fanboy.** _

_That's different...he was our gramps..._

"Do you think I could meet them...before I return to Jakku?" Her eyes are shining with so much enthusiasm, that Ben can't say no to her, so he lies.

"Uuu...I can't tell."

_I hope not! Chewie will rip my arms off for betraying them! And dad well...maybe he won't be as mad if I return the Falcon to him? Same with Chewie...?_

"Rey, do you have a cute boyfriend at home?" asks Finn out of the blue from the cockpit, enraging Ben.

* * *

 

_How dare he?! And I thought he was over Rey! She's mine!_

"None of your business." Rey looks at Ben, blushes and turns away.

_She looked at me!_

_**KR: You were imagining it...she tried to kill you...remember...** _

_We are long past that stage..._

"Does that mean you are single?" asks Ben, suddenly wide awake.

_I didn't see any boyfriends when I invaded her mind..._

_**KR: You can be so creepy...** _

"Yes, now stop asking stupid questions and try to rest," says Rey sternly.

_Why is it a stupid question...?_

"I'm single too," replies Finn without being asked.

_Shut up, Finn!_

"Me too, but I bet, Ben is a virgin..." adds Poe unnecessarily to the conversation and Ben sits up in anger and reaches for his saber.

_I'm going to kill Poe now...nothing can stop me..._

"Really...?" Rey looks curiously at Ben, who wants to die at that moment and withdraws his hand.

_I will kill Poe later..._

"Of course he is," replies Poe like he knows everything about Ben.

Even BB-8 comments on that by chirping something and Finn laughs, even though he is definitely a virgin too.

"Hey! That's none of your business! Stupid Poe, where is your base? ask Ben.

_How far to I've to travel with this..this clown?!_

Poe looks over his shoulder. "Look, even though you're my adoptive son, I don't trust you for this information, sorry."

_This is all a test...all a test to see me resisting the darkside...how far I can go without killing that rebel..._

Poe leans to Finn like he's about to whisper to him.

"Hey, Finn is a former trooper!" shouts Ben and Poe shrugs. "He joined unwilling, you joined the First Order on your own terms..and left them."

"Well..." begins Ben.

_From a certain point of view..._

"The Illenium system?!" shouts Finn after Poe has whispered to him and he blushes when he realizes he just shouted it over the ship."Oops..."

"The Illenium system," says Rey, looks intrigued and ready for adventure before heading home again.

Ben grins as he got the information he wanted and Poe turns sharply to him. "Yes, that is what I said...you better not take this information to the First Order or I swear...oh no..."

All of the ship's power goes out.

_Just what I needed...to make this day better...what a piece of junk..._

"What's wrong?" asks Rey and Poe replies while clicking on the controls: "Someone has locked on to us. The controls are all overridden."

_Great..._

 

* * *

 

Ben walks into the cockpit, expecting to see a Star Destroyer hanging over their head.

_Has the First Order found us...?_

_**KR: Nope...** _

Ben watches as massive freighter gets closer to them, with a giant hangar like a huge mouth, ready to swallow them.

_Then who..._

Ben grows cold when he recognizes the force signature.

_You've got to be kidding me! The minute I step on the Falcon he finds it? The kriffing..._

_**KR: I thought you wanted to meet him...** _

_Not like this! I need more time!_

"What is it?!" asks Rey, worried when she's that Ben has gone white and looks to be ready to pass out.

"I knew it, it's the First Order!" shouts Finn.

"No, it's something far worse!" shouts Ben in panic and runs away.

"Worse?" asks Rey and Finn at the same time and BB-8 chirps in panic.

_I need to hide!_

_**KR: You really haven't changed since you were kid...** _

"There is something worse than the First Order?" ask Poe and Finn replies: "Not that I know of..but if Ren...I mean Ben is so scared...something must be."

Ben's mind is racing and paces around the lounge in the Falcon, as the tries to think of an escape plan.

_**KR: How come you felt his presence nearly instantly, but not the Tie-Fighters? The trooper felt it, but not you! Seriously, is your dad a more threat to you then bombing Tie-Fighters?!** _

_I could've taken the Tie-Fighters easily out with the force! But, he..._

Ben looks at the grating area as a thought comes into his mind. "Rey, the poisonous gas..."

"But I fixed it," replies Rey, who, along with the others had followed panic-stricken Ben to the lounge.

"Can we unfix it?" Ben points at the gas masks hanging on the wall and Rey catches on his plan right away.

She nods and each of the gang, grabs a gas mask and climbs into the grating area.

_**KR: You are trying to kill your father. There is still darkside in you.** _

_I'm not trying to kill him! Just trying to scare him away..._

_**KR: With poisonous gas...** _

_Don't you question my methods!_

Poe hands BB-8 over to Finn, who nearly misses him and Poe jumps into the grating area. He pulls the grating over them, when everyone has gone down there.

"Hurry up!" shouts Ben, through the gas mask at Rey, who snaps back at him through her gas mask. "I am going as fast as can!"

_Any minute he will come here..._

 

_Next up: Father and son (new) meeting... (hide and seek with father)_


	8. Hide and seek with father

" _BEN! What are you doing down there?!" His father looked shocked while looking down into the grating area. "It's dangerous!"_

" _Little Ben!" growled Chewie._

" _I'm not Ben, I'm Kylo Ren," said seven year old Ben with his face hidden under a black, homemade mask._

 

* * *

 

_Wha..this is memory is false or from a dream...you didn't exist back then..._

_**KR: Are you so sure about that?** _

_What do you mean? Didn't Snoke give me the name?_

_**KR: No comment...but, I'm really interested in seeing what happened next...** _

 

* * *

 

" _Stop fooling around, Ben and take off your stupid mask," rebuked his father him._

" _It's not stupid!" retorted Ben._

" _Now, Ben!" shouted his father and although little Ben was not too happy with that his super cool mask had been called stupid, he did as his father commanded...or at least tried to._

" _I can't! It's stuck! Help daddy!" shouted Ben desperately and he started hyperventilating in panic, but his father quickly climbed down to him in the grating area._

" _Don't worry kid, I will save you. Don't panic. There, all good?" He asked after he had taken his mask off and kissed his forehead like he always did when he had a headache, to make it better._

_Ben nodded, happy to be safe at last so his father lifted him up and Chewie received him and put him safely on the floor._

" _How did you know it was me?" asked Ben when his father had climbed back up and Chewie put the grating back over. "I had a mask on...I was in disguise and everything..."_

" _It was so obvious," growled Chewie and Ben looked surprised and to his father for further explanation._

" _Who else could it be...but my naughty son?" His father frowned at him and then he smirked, but Ben looked insulted._

" _I'm not naughty! I'm never naughty!" shouted Ben indignantly and his father and Chewie exchanged doubtful glances._

" _Really? His father pinched his ear. Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?!"_

" _Very naughty," growled Chewie at him._

" _Ow, ow yes...sorry..." said Ben shamefully and rubbed his sore ear when his father finally let go of it._

_His father lifted up finger for each of his "crimes." "So, truancy, running away, hiding in a dangerous place...you're so grounded, kid!" He snatched him up from the ground and carried him to the lounge with a thunderous expression._

" _But, I'm not running away! I'm with you!" shouted Ben in hope of some appeal, but his father just shook his head._

" _You're going back home, kid. How did you even get down there?"_

" _The grating must wear a ton," growled Chewie a bit impressed._

" _I used the Force..." replied Ben and his father sighed._

" _Of course...the force. Now, I ask you again...What were you doing down there?" He put him down to sit at the chess table._

* * *

 

_**KR: They sure weren't happy with you then...and won't be happy with you now.** _

_Understatement of the year..._

_**KR: But I want to see what happens next.** _

_Why?_

_**KR: I want to know why you were hiding down there...must have been some stupid reason...** _

* * *

 

" _I was stowawaying," replied Ben in a small voice, when his father sat beside him at the chess table._

" _A stowaway...on your father's ship?" growled Chewie surprised, who took a seat opposite from them._

" _It's safer that way..." replied Ben and his father, thought it over and then he picked Ben up to sit on his lap and had him face him while he said sternly: "Fine, if you have to stowaway, I prefer you use my ship then go with some strangers, that's too dangerous. Just let me know next time, beforehand...and don't you ever hide down there."_

" _Why?" Ben looked at Chewie behind him, as if he would be likelier to know the answer then his father._

" _It's too dangerous! The propulsion tank can overflow and fill everything with poisonous gas!" growled Chewie and his father added: "But most importantly I want to know where you are at all times. It's for your safety kid." He pinched his cheek lightly._

" _Okay, I won't hide down there and I will always let you know where I am," said Ben and his father ruffled his hair and said: "Good boy. Now, let's go home. Your mother must be worried sick..." He picked him up and started walking._

" _No! I don't want to go back! I want stay with you!" Ben clung tightly to his chest as if his father planned on leaving him behind on some planet for being naughty._

" _What...why? Did you do something bad and are fleeing?" His father looked questionably between Ben and Chewie, who followed close behind.  
Ben shook his head. "No...the kids in school are so mean to me..."_

" _Mean how..?" asked his father._

" _They call me strange and...beat me up...and stuff..." muttered Ben and his father looked shocked._

" _I can beat them up for you," growled Chewie helpfully._

" _Thanks, Chewie!" Ben smiles at him gratefully, but his father shook his head._

" _No, as much I would like to do that...it would send the wrong message," said his father who looked like really wanted to give those bullies a piece of his mind, judging from a vein ready to burst on his forehead._

_He reeled in the anger, took a calming breath and said: "Okay, you can come with us this time. We are only transporting wombat rats, nothing dangerous."_

_He smiled, but Ben grimaced in disgust when he heard the mission and shouted: "Boooring!"_

" _It's not boring!" growled Chewie, who shivered and his father shook his head and said: "It's a safe mission, which means you can come with us. Now, let's call your mom and let her know where you are..."_

" _Okay..." said Ben and his father carried him to the cockpit._

 

* * *

 

_**KR: Aw...how cute...** _

_Did you just call..something cute..?!_

_**KR: I'm not the heartless bastard, you think I am...** _

_News to me..._

_**KR: And really shouldn't you be more worried about what is happening now instead of getting lost in a cute...eh stupid flashback?!** _

* * *

 

The lights come back on in the Falcon.

_Hey! You wanted me to continue! It's...it's your fault!_

_**KR: Everything is always my fault...did I hold a lightsaber to your throat or something? No, so it's your fault for not thinking independently...!** _

"Where is the poisonous gas?!" snaps Ben through the gasmask at poor Rey, who shouts back through hers: "I'm working on it!"

 **KR: You know you could help her.**..

_I'm too busy not passing out at the moment!_

_**KR: That's wouldn't be so bad...** _

_No, because then you could take back the wheel!_

_**KR: Perhaps...personally I don't think that's a bad thing...** _

_It would be horrible!_

_**KR: From a certain point of view...** _

"We are doomed!" Shouts Finn through his gasmask, but Poe puts hands on his shoulder and says through his mask: "Don't give up yet. We are not going down without a fight!"

BB-8 chirps something encouragingly as well.

"But Ren...eh Ben says it's worst than the First Order! We can't win against something like that!" shouts Finn as desperate, as if the Starkiller base had just been pointed at their ship.

"What can be worse than the First Order?" Poe turns to Ben who doesn't answer, but only stares ahead with a doomed look, hidden under his gasmask.

_**KR: You know...it might be a good idea to tell them truth instead of having everyone freak out...though it's funny to watch...** _

_They wouldn't understand..._

_**KR: But, seriously, what are you so scared of?** _

_I don't know...that's what frightening me..._

_**KR: Chiiicken...** _

"I'm sorry...we fixed it too well..." says Rey, as if she's about to cry over that failure.

_No! So typical that when I do a job to well, that it will work against me..._

_**KR: Have you forgotten your...lightsaber...?** _

_You're right! I can cut through the pipes with the lightsaber...why didn't I think of that earlier!_

_**KR: Because you are not thinking, that's why...** _

"No! We are going to die!" shouts Finn and hugs Poe desperately as if they are going to die at any given minute, while Poe just pats his shoulder in comfort.

BB-8 chirps in panic and the Falcon door opens with a hiss, before Ben can even ignite his saber. He can hear them walk into the Falcon.

_He's here..and we are trapped like kriffing wombat rats...!_

"Chewie, we're home."

His father's voice sends shivers up his spine.

_Oh, brother..they are never going to leave are they?_

_**KR: Nope.** _

"Chewie..? Did he say Chewie!?" whispers Rey excitedly, all her fear temporarily gone.

"Chewie? Are you sure?" whispers Finn, without letting go of Poe and looks at Ben, who shivers. "No, this is something else...why would Ben be afraid of Chewie...?"

Poe, lifts up his mask, takes one look at Ben, as if he's calculating something in his head and then he smirks.

 _Oh, no! He figures it out...!_   _It's just a matter of time before the others figure it out too!_

* * *

 

The grating gets lifted up, and Han and Chewie come into view. Chewie holds the grating up while his father points a blaster at them.

Finn yelps up in fright, but when he does not see death troopers, the knights or anything scary, he furrows his brows in confusion and looks at Ben, who instantly ducks and hides behind Rey.

_**KR: Yes, very brave...** _

Rey, who feels and sees his panic, though she doesn't understand it, looks over his shoulder and mouths at him: "Don't worry, I will protect you and get you back to your family."

_**KR: The irony of that statement...** _

"Where are the others?" asks his father, where he looks over the gang, whereas Rey and Poe holds their hands up in surrender, Finn embraces Poe tightly in desperation as if they are about to die, Ben is hiding behind Rey and BB-8 chirps something.

"It's only us," replies Rey quickly, as the fangirl has been replaced with the will to survive again and tries in vain to hide Ben behind her back, though she has no idea who he is hiding from.

_**KR: If she knew, she would knock your skull in...** _

_Well, then she better never find out..._

"Who's hiding behind your back?" ask his father.

"Nothing, sir," lies Rey.

"A pretty big nothing to me," scoffs his father.

_**KR: Just your son you haven't seen since he was ten years old...nothing of importance...** _

_Are you trying to make me feel guilty?!_

_**KR: Maybe...** _

" _I smell something. Something I haven't smelt since..."_ growls Chewie as sniffs into the air, then he turn his gaze at Ben, behind Rey and his eyes go wide in astonishment.

_Oh, no! Chewie of course recognizes my smell!_

But, just as Chewie opens his mouth to shout the truth of who Ben is all over the galaxy, he gets a strange look as something had got caught in his throat and coughs violently.

"Hey, are you alright?" His father turns back to Chewie with a worried look, who sits down on a container nearby and points at his throat. "Here have some water." Han takes a bottle from a pouch and hands it to Chewie, who drinks from it and glares at Ben, who is peeking behind Rey, down in the grating area.

_**KR: Please don't tell me...you tried to choke Chewie...?!** _

_I didn't do it! He must have swallowed a fly or something!_

_**KR: Hmm...** _

_Lucky me..._

"Smell? We don't smell. Though I live in a junkyard I don't smell!" Rey crosses her arm and scowls at Chewie as the violent cough had just been an exaggeration of their smell.

"You understand that thing?" asks Finn surprised, takes of his mask and Poe and BB-8 look equally as surprised.

_Wow, what can't she do?_

_**KR: A bit overpowered if you ask me...at least she's way out of your league...** _

_Hey! That wasn't nice to say!_

_**KR: You're way too easy to tease...** _

"Hey, that "thing" understand you as well...!" says Han and glares at Finn for insulting his long time friend, but before he can lecture him some more, Chewie pulls him down and whispers into his ear.

_Shut up, shut up!_

"What? Speak up, I can't understand you," says his father a bit impatiently and Chewie points frantic at Ben.

_No, no, no!_

"What...wait...are you from the First Order...?" Han looks intently at the black clothes of Ben.

_Pheeew! He thinks Chewie is only warning him about that..._

Chewie looks so disappointed, that Ben feels a tiny bit guilty for not coming forth, but his survival instinct makes him keep his mouth closed.

_**KR: Survival instinct...really? More like stupidity...** _

"No, sir, are you...?" replies Finn, who reluctantly lets go of Poe, as if he has suddenly become their leader instead of him, who thankfully has kept quiet so far as he could blow Ben's cover right away.

_I should tape his mouth shut before he says something..._

"Do I look like I come from the First Order?" scoffs his father.

_**KR: In your dreams.** _

"No, sir." Rey, Finn and BB-8 look at Ben try to gauge his reaction who still look as panicked as ever.

_Can't you just go...?_

_**KR: Not without the Falcon...** _

_You're right, I just have to give him back the Falcon!_

"Guys, don't you know who that is?" says Poe, the only one of the gang, who is not panicking over their new arrivals.

"No...?" say Finn and Rey in unison as they gaze, along with BB-8 at Han and Chewie and back at Ben as they try to figure out the connection between them and his panic.

_NO! Shut up Poe, shut up!_

"It's Chewie!" yells Poe excitedly as if the rented clown for the birthday party had just arrived.

_Why you...fuck you Poe for nearly giving me a panic attack!_

_**KR: You don't seem to need much at the moment...** _

"No way it really is Chewie!" Finn gawks at poor Chewie and Rey does the same. "Chewie!"

"You know Chewie?" asks his father surprised and Rey nods. "Everyone knows Chewie...I mean..I saw a play once..." Her eyes shine brilliantly and she looks starstruck.

BB-8 chirps something in excitement.

Chewie tries to growls something, but nothing comes out.

_Phew...he still can't say anything...but for how long?!_

"A play...huh...get out of there," Han indicates the grating area and all except Ben and Rey climb out of it or well Finn and Poe try their hardest to get BB-8 up.

_She still wants to show me support..._

_**KR: Support? Why don't you just talk to your dad like a man. Stop acting like a stupid mouse!** _

"I thought Chewie was in retirement on Kashyyyk," says Rey and stares in wonder at Chewie as if he were the new supreme leader.

Chewie lifts BB-8 easily up, so Finn and Poe can at last climb up of the grating area. Poe gives Chewie a high five as they are best friends and Chewie gives one, though without taking his eyes of Ben, as if he's only biding his time to be, figuratively able to tell the truth.

_Gleep...!_

"No, he's with me now," replies his father and stares at Rey and Ben, who is still hiding behind her, the only two still left down in grating area.

"And who are you, sir?" ask Finn warely.

"None of your business, that's who! snaps his father back at him, as he still thinks of them as enemies and Finn backs away with his hand in the air to Poe, as if Han has been turned into a rathar and wisely refrains from asking more questions.

Poe chuckles, BB-8 is confused while Rey continues hiding Ben behind her.

_Thank the maker that my dad doesn't have a habit of introducing himself right away to complete strangers...or I would be screwed...Rey and Finn must think he's just some random smuggler traveling with Chewie...though that is very weird...there is still time...!_

_**KR: You're trapped inside a freighter which inside another bigger freighter, give up now...there is no escape.** _

_I'm never giving up...this is...yeah, this a survival game!_

_**KR: A game...?!** _

_The rules are simple, if my father manages to find out my true identity and unmask me, then it's game over!_

_**KR: Then how can you win it...?** _

_If I manage to hide from him and escape, I win and then I will disappear from his life forever...and I have to beat this game before either Chewie gets his voice back, Poe decides to give my secret away or if Finn but, especially Rey, figure out it's "just" my father...not an enemy...as she would kill me for hiding from him...and having planned on using poisonous gas..._

_**KR: What about BB-8?** _

_I'm not worried about him..._

_**KR: If Poe tells him the truth, he could tell Rey...** _

_That would be bad!_

_**KR: So you see this is an impossible game from the start...** _

_I'm not giving up without a fight!_

_**KR: You can be so stubborn about the most stupid things...** _

* * *

 

"You there, stop hiding behind the poor girl," says his father sternly, signalling the game to start without even knowing he's playing one.

"Poor...girl?!" says Rey through clenched teeth and she gets even more protective, as she stretches out her arms to both side.

_I would never in million years call Rey a poor girl..._

_**KR: Me either...I would however call you a poor guy in a heartbeat...** _

_Says the one who slept with the lights on..._

_**KR: How rude! I only did that because Darth Vader's mask is so creepy in the dark! It's not nice having that helmet staring at you when you are trying to sleep!** _

_I thought darkside users didn't need to sleep..._

_**KR: No comment...jerk...** _

"It's okay, Rey. I will take it from here..." Ben moves in front of Rey, pats her on the shoulder for a job well done and tries not to pass out from the stress of revealing himself to his father, although he's still hidden under a mask.

"You sure?" Rey asks skeptical as if she wouldn't even trust him to cross the street on his own, despite having seen his powers in action and Ben nods convincingly.

"I will be here, if you need me," says Rey and still stays by his side, instead of leaving the grating area to go to a far comfortable place.

_**KR: You know if it wasn't just your dad...this overprotectiveness would be kind of cute...eh cool...she's so gonna hate you when she finds out the truth...** _

_You're right...so I can't risk it...I can't lose the game!_

His father sizes him up where he stands above them, looking down into the area to where Ben stands in front of Rey.

Ben's heartbeat pounds wildly in his ear under that inspection.

_Will he see through me...like he always did in the past...? Am I going to lose...right away?!_

"You certainly looks like one of those Knights of...Ben guys or something? You even have a lightsaber." His father finally says and points at the lightsaber in Ben's belt, with his blaster.

_**KR: Hey, it's Knights of Ren! My knights not Ben's!** _

_He knows I'm the master of Ren...! I'm so glad I didn't wear my helmet...it would've been an instant game over!_

Poe, who sits on container next to Chewie who is drinking water and pouting over his sore throat, enjoys this show so tremendously that he snorts.

"What so funny?" asks Han and turns back to him, annoyed over the interruption in his serious interrogation over one of the Knights.  
"Nothing, sir," says Poe and tries to keep a straight face.

_Jerk._

_**KR: Jerk.** _

Han frowns at him. "Then keep it to yourself." He turns back to interrogating the knight.

"Yes, sir," says Poe, who then whispers to BB-8 beside him, who chirps first surprisingly but then it chirps in something that sounds like an evil chuckle.

"What?" asks Finn irate over being kept out of the joke. He watches every move Han makes, as he tries to figure out what is so dangerous in Ben's eyes, while he tries to find out how to escape from it.

"You will see," is the only thing Poe says which confuses even further both Finn and Rey while Han just decides to ignore that clown behind him, as he has better things to do...like finding out what one of the Knights of Ren is doing on his long lost ship.

_I have to get away before Poe stops thinking this is funny and decides to give my secret away! Rey and Finn, thankfully still have no clue that this is my father! I can still win this thing!_

* * *

 

"You mean the Knights of Ren, yes but he defected...we are on our way to the resistance," corrects Rey him helpfully as if the strangers in front of her, had just misspoke the name of the gang, instead of using the name of his son in their title on purpose, as he's their leader.

Han looks genuinely surprised with that information. "Defected...resistance..." His stern features turns into shock and he puts away his blaster in his belt.

_Oh, no he connecting the knots. I've to come up with a lie and fast!_

_**KR: No, just tell him the truth...stop fooling around...** _

"Why don't you take of your mask? It must be suffocating under it," his father says in a fatherly voice, as all of his anger vanished when he heard that the knight had defected and is no longer dangerous, but still looks clueless that the knight in question is his long lost son.

"I'm fine...thank you..." says Ben in a frosty voice.

_It's far more suffocating being in your presence..._

_**KR: That's harsh, dude...** _

His father sits down with his feet hanging down into the grating area. "Suits yourself...but how about at least coming up here...so we can talk?" He pats a place next to him.

"I'm comfortable down here...thank you.." snaps Ben at him.

_Why do you want to talk...? Talk about what? I don't want to talk! Just leave me alone...you had no problem with it for twenty years..._

_**KR: Ouch...** _

"This is not optional, it's dangerous down there. Come up now," says his father sternly.

"I don't want to," replies Ben, turns away from him and crosses his arms stubbornly.

_I'm will win this fight..._

Han sighs. "I guess I can't force you kid. It's not like I'm your father or something..."

_**KR: Double ouch...** _

Ben's heart sinks.

_He doesn't know..._

He had expected a longer fight than this and just about to descend into a deep depression, when suddenly Poe burst out laughing. "I can't! I just can't!" He kicks his legs out and holds his stomach.

"Can't what?" asks Finn surprised.

_Don't say anything Poe...don't you dare!_

"Sorry...I was just remembering a...good joke. A very good joke." Poe wipes a tear from his eyes.

"Will you be quiet back there! Go play chess or something!" barks his father at Poe, Finn and BB-8.

Chewie growls something angrily, but it's only gibberish because of his sore throat and Rey frowns at Poe.

"Sorry, we will be quiet," says Poe, as he wouldn't want to miss this confrontation for the world and Finn and BB-8 look pissed that he is talking about them as well, when they didn't say a single thing.

His father shakes his head with a frown. "Some people just don't know how to behave..."

_Trust my father to start commanding everyone the minute he steps into his ship..._

Kid, you can't stay this way forever," says his father suddenly to him.

"Huh...?" Ben looks at him surprised.

_He called me a kid...just like in the past...does he know who I really am...?_

Ben expects his next words to be the one from the past: " _Stop fooling around, Ben and take off your stupid mask!_

Followed by the worst lecture ever and ending this impossible game before it has even begun, just like in the past. Chewie already knows and it's only a matter of time before he can talk again or anyone on board will tell the truth, but Ben wants for some reason his father to figure it out on his own, not to be told the truth from anyone.

_I just want this to be over...I don't want to play this game...please dad!_

_**KR: No one is forcing you...** _

However his father's next words disappoint him greatly.

"Down there in the dark...and with a mask. It's not healthy," his father points into the grating area as if Ben wouldn't know what he was talking about otherwise.

Ben turns around and growls at him: "I'm used to wearing a mask...and staying in dark places!" He's so angry that he doesn't recognize him already.

_Why would some random knight be hiding in your ship?!_

"Don't use that tone with me, young man," scolds his father him without thinking and looks bewildered over his own choice of words and stares at the knight, as if he's trying to see through his mask.

"Sorry sir...but I'm staying down here...with a mask..." says Ben in a challenging voice and deep down, wishes that his father will shout at him: " _Stop fooling around son and obey me at once!"_

But, his father's choice of words keep disappointing him, who only shakes his head.

"You really are stubborn, kid. You are just like my...son...was." His father gets emotional, as if he's about to cry.

_I AM YOUR KRIFFING SON!_

_**KR: Wait...what...so you really want him to find out...then why don't you just tell him...?** _

_No, he has to find out on his own...or there is no point...I mean it's his fault...for not recognizing me with a mask. He had no trouble with it before!_

_**KR: When you were...seven? You're right, you haven't changed that much...** _

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_**KR: Do as your father says.** _

_Never! And I don't want him to find out my real identity...it's complicated..._

_**KR: Wha...you're impossible...I don't understand you...I...I give up!** _

_Good...at least I won that fight...wait...did he say...son was...he thinks I'm dead?!_

_**KR: No wonder he never tried to save you...or knows it's you...** _

_Why does he think I'm dead...I'm alive...and right in front of him...why can't he see that?! I was waiting for him this whole time! Or has he disowned me...that's even worse!_

"But, you sure have a very weird taste kid and what's up with the gasmask, is this a new fashion in the Knights? Or...maybe you aren't allowed to have a cooler mask than your master...I remember he always wanted to the best dressed kid on the playground..." His father smirks while reminiscing about the long gone past, while looking at his kid who is hiding in plain sight, from him.

_**KR: He thinks my mask is cool! Hey...what does he think they my knights are...a wedding?!** _

_So awkward...at least he doesn't seem to have disowned me...that's good I guess...but if he knew who I was he might take out some baby pictures of me.._

_**KR: You're afraid of that...ah...that makes sense, you would die of shame if he did that in front of the girl you like...** _

_That's not the reason..._

_**KR: Then what...?** _

_I don't know..._

"Poisonous gas," says Rey, who so far only watched them interact from the sidelines and was ready to jump in if Ben was in any danger.

"Sorry?" His father turns surprised to Rey as if he had forgotten she was there and Ben had to admit that he had forgotten about her too and feels ashamed about it.

_**KR: You should feel more ashamed over having dragged her into this farce...** _

"The masks are because of the poisonous gas...we were planning to kill who ever came on board," explains Rey, a bit shamefully.

_Not kill...scare away..._

_**KR: You could've killed them...** _

"And whose bright idea was it to use gas?" asks his father sternly.

"His." Rey points at Ben by her side, who tries hide from the disappointing and piercing gaze of his father.

"As expected of a former darkside user...so that's why Chewie has trouble talking. You better not have harmed him in any way." His father glares and wiggles a finger at them sternly, as if it was just a horrible prank gone wrong.

"No, we fixed the gas...there was no gas leaking," replies Rey hurriedly.

"Hmm...then why does Chewie act like this? Do you have a cold?" Han looks behind at

Chewie, who shakes his head and points straight at Ben.

His father's worried expression turns instantly and he looks lived.

_Oh, no! He knows...at last he knows the truth! I'm doomed..._

_**KR: About time...and didn't you want that...?** _

His father jumps down into the grating area and stalks over to Ben.

* * *

 

Rey walks quickly in front of Ben.

"You will have to go through me," she says bravely, but Ben pats her shoulder and says: "No, no Rey. It's okay..."

_I guess he would find out sooner or later...these lies were tearing me apart anyway...I lost..._

"I'm sorry..." He dips his head, as he ready himself for the worst lecture ever.

"Sorry...so you are the one hurting Chewie? You are choking him with the force?!" shouts his father at him.

_Whaaat...?_

**KR:** _**That's what he thinks Chewie has been saying the whole time...?!** _

Chewie growls weakly, shakes his head and keeps pointing at Ben, puzzling Han further.

"No sir, I would never do anything to hurt Chewie!" shouts Ben and jumps behind Rey, who looks surprised that he is using her as cover already, after acting so brave less than a minute ago.

_It far too dangerous to be the one endangering Chewie...especially when he thinks I'm just some random stranger! It is bad enough if he thought, I, his son was doing it!_

His father lifts an eyebrow. "Why would you never do anything to hurt Chewie? It is good, but that phrasing, do you know each other...is that why you are acting like this?" asks his father Chewie, who nods and points at Ben.

"Everyone knows Chewie!" shouts Ben and walks in front of Rey, echoing what the others said not long ago and drawing his father's attention back to him from Chewie the truth holder.

Ben is going crazing with wanting his father to know above anything and at the same wanting to do everything to hide the truth of his identity.

_**KR: Just give up already...** _

_I can't...this is important to me...it's his last chance to save me..._

"I'm sorry, I jumped to the wrong conclusions...what are you keeping in that pouch? It looks heavy." His father points at the pouch where Ben keeps Kylo Ren's helmet.

_He can't see my helmet!_

_**KR: It would be so funny if it just fell out of your pouch...** _

"Nothing...sir," lies Ben and tries to hide the bulky pouch behind his back.

Rey looks surprised that he's lying, but doesn't interfere in any way and instead keep on acting as his, mostly silent, but confused guardian angel.

Finn furrows his brows over Ben's unusual behaviour, while Poe and BB-8 smirk and Chewie glares at him for lying, takes up lozenge from his pouch and crushes it angrily between his teeth.

His father just shakes his head. "More of nothing...you are full of secrets...hiding your face behind a mask, wants to stay in this dark place...I will never understand your kind, kid."

_**KR: Kind...do a lot of people hide their faces behind mask and stay in dark places...?** _

"Well, I'm not staying here. It's not good for my back," says his father and starts to climb up again.

_He's leaving..._

Something snaps inside Ben at last, when he sees the back of his father getting away.

" _I will come back for you when you have gotten ridden of the darkness, I promise..."_  echoes the broken promise from twenty years ago in his mind.

_He can't go...no please don't leave...don't leave..._

"No, please don't leave!" Ben clings to his back, dragging him back down, shocking Han as he only see this as an overreaction, as he's only climbing out of the area not going anywhere.

_Save me from the darkness in my soul!_

Now Finn and Rey gets even more confused, Poe and BB-8 don't look like they are enjoying this so much anymore and look worried instead, while Chewie looks sad.

"I'm not leaving you kid...I'm right here. Why don't you come up?" his father turns to him and takes his hand as if he dealing with a small child instead of an adult.

"I'm not ready..." says Ben in a small voice and let's go of his hand, though he doesn't want to.

_Everything hurts...why don't you know who I am...? You're supposed to see through my lies...you always could...why can't you see through me this time...? Help me, I'm stuck! I don't know who I am anymore...!_

_**KR: Do you want him to lift you up of the area...it might break his back now...** _

_Of course not...but I still need his help...to come back..._

"Why don't you take of your mask? Or is it stuck...do you want me to help you take it off?" His father lifts up his hand.

_YES!_

"No...I'm fine..." Ben backs away from his hand.

"You don't look fine to me...are you sure?" asks his father worried and Ben just nods.

_No! I need help!_

His father shrugs. "Okay, kid. It's your life...I don't control it." He climbs out of the area and Ben shouts at him inside his mind.

_No, please, I'm out of control...I need you...!_

_**KR: Maybe you should just let him adopt you...then you can get your dad back without giving away your identity and having to face your crimes...you could call yourself...Ken...Rolo or something...then you could be forever stay in hide and seek...** _

_**But, of course your mom knows you real identity and kind of everyone on board...so everything about this game is stupid...and pointless!** _

_You're no help as usual..._

_**KR: I don't have time for...games...** _

* * *

 

Finn stares at Han, when he has climbed up, as if he is the most dangerous man alive, despite not being armed and even Chewie has long since put his weapon down, so everyone could walk freely around the ship and they still decided to annoy Ben, by staying behind and watch everything, when he only wanted to keep Rey around, even though she would hit him if she really knew what was happening.

Han notices Finn's stare and smirks. "You kids don't need to fear me, I'm just a harmless old man..."

"Just a harmless old man...?" Finn looks between Ben and Han as he tries to figure out their connection and why Ben was so afraid of him in the beginning and coming up blank.

"Unless you stole this ship..." Han fixes everyone of them with a stern and fierce glare.

_I would never dream of trying to steal the Falcon again...it ended way too badly for me last time! I couldn't sit for a day, I was grounded for a whole week, Chewie was so mad and mom broke my toy saber and gave me the worst lecture ever!_

"We didn't steal it!" says Ben quickly, surprising the whole gang with the desperation in his voice. Even Han and Chewie look surprised.

_**KR: Technically we stole it from whoever owned it on Jakku...** _

_That doesn't count! And dad wouldn't punish me for taking it from those who stole it in the first place!_

_**KR: No, he will punish you for lying to him this whole time...and for everything else bad you've done since he last saw you...** _

_That's an awfully long list..._

"Don't worry, kid, I was only kidding. This ship was stolen long time ago, but where did you find it?" asks his father in a far milder voice and Rey answers for the group. "Jakku."

"That junkyard! Chewie, I said we should've checked out the Outer Rim systems," says his father, but Chewie doesn't seem to care about that, as he points desperately at Ben.

_Shut up, Shut up...!_

_**KR: Don't worry...he can't talk...yet...** _

"What is it? Isn't your throat any better? And why do you keep pointing at this kid?" His father turns to him. "Maybe he's pointing at something behind you...are you sure there isn't any gas leak?"

_Phew...my dad can be so thick sometimes..._

_**KR: Father like son...** _

_Shut up, Kylo!_

"No, no leak. Sir," says Rey after he had checked the pipes thoroughly.

"Hmm..." His father looks between Chewie and Ben, but before he can come to any conclusion Finn pipes in, who looks directly at Ben: "But what I don't understand is, why were you so afraid of some old old man?"

"What are you talking about?" ask Han look between Finn and Ben down in the grating area, who stiffens.

"He said you were worse than the First Order...and even planned on killing you with poisonous gas," continues Finn.

_Shut up, Finn!_

_**KR: Yeah! I'm not afraid of him! I'm not afraid of anything!** _

_Not even Snoke...?_

_**Maybe a little...he sometimes has me electrocuted to get closer to the darkside...it hurts!** _

"What do you mean...I thought it was meant for however came on board..." says his father, Rey nods, but Finn shakes his head and explains: "No, you see Kylo Ren here is forcesensetive. So he knew who you were before you boarded us..."

His father blinks furiously. "Did you say...Kylo Ren...?!" He gawks at Ben while Chewie and the gang minus Ben nod to confirm that he heard right.

_**KR: Busted!** _

_I'm not giving up! I can still fix this! I can still win this game!_

_**KR: No you can't...and you really shouldn't...** _

"And now the real show will start." Poe leans back on the container, while throwing an imaginary popcorn into the air.

 

_Next up: Game over..._


	9. Game over

"Are you...Kylo...Ren...?" asks his father in a hollow voice, where Ben keeps staying in the grating area, despite it being one of the worst places aboard the Falcon, to stay too long in and to make matters worse, feels terrible for wearing the uncomfortable gas mask for so long, as it feels suffocating and is so hot under it.

_My feet hurts...my brain hurts...everything hurts..._

"Former," adds Rey quickly as if that would make all the difference and steps determined in front of Ben, since she has no trouble staying forever in small cramped spaces, thanks to her survival skills.

"Yeah, former. Sorry, forgot to say that," pipes Finn inn, who stands beside Poe and adds: "He's not dangerous anymore."

Poe shrugs and BB-8 chirps while Chewie looks intently between father and son.

"I'm asking you, are you...or used to be Kylo Ren?" asks his father again, in firmer voice this time.

_**KR: Well, this was a "fun" game while it lasted. But, wow are you in big trouble now...** _

"I was...but that's only because we are all named Kylo Ren in the knights of Ren, full name Knights of Kylo Ren. I was Kylo Ren...the fourteenth, because I'm not the master of them," lies Ben and if he didn't wear a mask, his father would see through him right away.

_**KR: Huh? What are you doing?** _

All of his gang plus Chewie look surprised over his words.

His father looks so disappointed. "Oh...sorry I thought you were someone else...or think...I don't know his...number. But, that would be impossible. He's never coming back..." His father stares sadly ahead.

_Impossible?! I'm right here!_

_**KR: You're impossible...** _

"Really? I thought at least one of you guys were named Ren Ren," says Finn surprised.

_Gagh...didn't except a lowly trooper to know anything about the knights!_

"That's the only exception..." replies Ben quickly, while sweating profusely under the gas mask.

_**KR: Ren Ren must hate me now...** _

_Isn't that good for the darkside..?_

_**KR: It's good to hate...but I don't like people hating me...** _

"And I thought you were only seven," says Finn suspiciously and Ben replies: "We used to be seven..."

"And that you were their leader." Finn frowns at him and Ben shouts: "I'm not! That's Kylo Ren...the first...I'm just a nobody..."

"Huh, news to me." Finn looks thoughtful, as if he missed an important briefing meeting in the First Order where Kylo Ren got demoted and everything in the Knights were changed.

_**KR: Nobody!? I'm the freaking master of them and you are calling me a nobody! If I weren't stuck in your head, I would be kicking your ass right now!** _

"And to clear something else up. I was not afraid of them...but their cargo," says Ben and points accusingly at his father.

Han looks at Chewie, as he had forgot what they were transporting and then it dawns on him.

"Our cargo...oh...yeah they are monsters..." His father nods and Finn's panic skyrockets again and he shouts: "Monsters..?!" He jumps and hugs Poe again in fright, while looking in every corner as he's excepting some slimy things to crawl through a crack.

Poe smirks and claps his back in comfort and BB-8, who looks scared as well and leans up to him.

"What kind of monsters?" asks Rey curiously and a tiny bit afraid. She grabs Ben hand and looks at him, like she's saying:  _Whatever it is, I will protect you!_

_**KR: It should be the other way around...but I don't blame her for not trusting YOU to keep her safe...** _

_I don't mind..._

"It's better if you didn't know," replies his father, as if they knew they would get nightmares for weeks and judging from Finn's reaction that would happen, who still hangs onto Poe.

_I knew it. He's smuggling some monsters as usual, yeah that's why I was afraid..._

_**KR: Liar...you didn't even think of their presence until now...** _

"So you see, I had to use gas. It was for our safety, it comes first," lies Ben convincely and most of the gathering seems to buy it, except for Chewie who frowns at him and Poe who shakes his head, with Finn still wrapped tightly around him.

"Fair enough. We smugglers have to be prepared for anything." His father shrugs carelessly, with the same carelessness that annoyed his mother so much and would without doubt still do today.

_Thankfully, mom has not been able to contact him about me coming back to the light or we would be having a very different conversation..._

"Hey, since he's smuggler just like your dad, maybe he knows where your dad is," says Rey excitedly and turns to Ben, who doesn't share her excitement in least and if he didn't wear a mask, she would see how he miserable he really felt, though she should be able to tell through the force.

_I been very wary of what she thinks is an unknown smuggler and she thinks I wants to meet my dad? Can't she make the connection?!_

_**KR: You clung to his back, asking him not to leave you. Obviously you have some daddy issues, so maybe she just trying to help you in her own way...** _

_**OR...what I really think...** _

_**NOBODY understands how your stupid brain works...STUUUPID!** _

"What's your name, kid?" asks his father, eager to help.

" _Ittle...En...?"_ growls Chewie with his sore throat and his father perks his ears. "What, did you just say? I can't hear you."

"My name is Ken, Ken Rolo," lies Ben coldly, startling Rey who had no idea he had done nothing but lie to this man.

_**KR: That's your fake name...?! That was my idea...and why do you keep lying to him? Chewie already told him the truth! Or well half of it...you are making everything worse! Stop this game!** _

* * *

 

"What are you doing...?" Ben covers Rey's mouth before she can say anything more and says to her through forcelink _: "Let me deal with this..."_

To his surprise she shouts back at him through the forcelink. " _Ben! What the hell?!"_

_**KR: She can use a force link all ready! I'm a little jealous over her powers...** _

Ben turns off the link, uncovers her mouth and she glares at him, but doesn't say anything.

"Why is he lying to this man?" whispers Finn to Poe, who has let go off him and thanks to the forcehearing, Ben can hear every word they are saying. "Why is he so afraid of him? I thought it was only the cargo that scared him."

Poe shrugs. "Beats me..."

BB-8 chirps something and Finn stare at Han Solo as if he is expecting him to hide some super weapon under his jacket.

"Rolo...I can't say that is ringing any bells, sorry. Though that's a bit surprising considering how I know every scoundrel around..." says his father and looks to Chewie for help, who still can't talk.

_**KR: Poor Chewie, I hope he didn't lose his voice for good.** _

_Yeah...that would suck._

"Maybe Chewie knows where he is, aren't they like best pals?" asks Poe and has big trouble in keeping the laughter in.

_POE!_

"Best pals? Beside me...Chewie, you're full of surprises." His father grins, but Chewie doesn't think anything of this is funny and points quickly between Han and Ben.

"No, Chewie, I already told them. I don't know his father," says his father tiredly and Chewie facepalms himself.

_**KR: Chewie is so going to kill you for lying to your father.** _

_Well, he was going to kill me anyway..._

"Doesn't matter. I don't want to meet him, I'm on my way to the resistance to mom and that's it," snaps Ben at his father and Rey glares at him.  _Shame, shame._

Chewie growls something at him and Poe shakes his head with BB-8 while Finn looks confused.

"Your mom is in the resistance?" asks his father surprised.

_Oops..._

Ben looks desperately around the ship for inspiration. "Yeah...she's...a...umm...a x-wing...pilot...Poelina?" He looks at Poe, who frowns at him for using him like that.

_**KR: More lies...really?** _

"So your dad is a smuggler and your mother is a part of the resistance?" asks his father, as he tries to add something together in his head.

"Yes..." answers Ben warley.

_**KR: The first truth you spoke...this would be perfect opportunity to just you know, say you are...** _

"Huh...well, maybe your dad wants to meet you, had you thought of that?" His father frowns at him and Ben retorts with: "He abandoned me."

_**KR: Ah...the second truth...and maybe the key to everything...** _

Rey looks doubtful while his father gets a sad look into his eyes. "I'm so sorry to hear that Ken, was it? Before you leave..."

"Abandoned you? Hardly, didn't leave you with your cool Jedi uncle?" snaps Rey at him, as she has had enough of his lies, though this was no lie.

_Shut up...I mean quiet...my dearest Rey..._

_**KR: Even she has turned against you...** _

"Jedi...uncle...?" asks his father bewildered and Ben shrugs and replies: "Everyone called master Luke that..."

_**KR: Haha...no one did...not even us...** _

Rey glowers at him, while his father looks curiously at him and asks: "You were one of his padawans. How did you escape the slaughter?"

"Umm...I was one of the slaughters..." replies Ben, as he has no other answer for that, but telling the truth.

Rey gasps, as she's only one in the room who has very little idea about Ben's dark past, while all the others glare at him.

_**KR: You keep falling from her graces...** _

_I was darkside...what did she expect? That I was picking sunflowers all day?_

"That was not nice. If you were my son I would put you over my knee for it," his father scowls at him.

_Okay...I'm definitely never telling him the truth now...!_

_**KR: Please tell him the truth! But come on, it wasn't naughty...it was evil!** _

"I know it wasn't...nice. I making amends for it..." replies Ben shamefully and wants to sink through the floor under his father's disappointing gaze and his father scoffs: "How? Luke's missing..." He frowns at him and Chewie does as well.

_Great...Chewie was mad enough at me all ready..._

"Why do you care about that?" asks Rey and his father replies: "Luke is a dear friend of mine."

"Oh..." Rey looks between Ben and his father, as if she had found out their connection though she is still far from the truth.

Finn looks thoughtfully and then questioningly at Poe, their leader, who says: "We have the map, that's why we are going to the resistance." He pats BB-8 who chirps happily.

Han's head snaps up. "You...found the map." He smiles sadly. "That's really good news. Kid...I'm sure your father regrets leaving you with your...Jedi uncle." He turns to Ben, who is surprised over his words as he must be speaking the truth.

"He does?" he asks in a small voice and his father nods. "I'm sure of it."

"It's too late for regrets," growls Ben at him.

_I will never forgive you...ow!_

Rey slaps him upside the head and glares at him for not wanting to meet his father again.

"Why are you hitting him?" asks his father. "Are you his sister?"

_Nooooo!_

_**KR: Ahaha, that would be so funny...** _

"No, I'm not," replies Rey curtly.

"Girlfriend?" ask his father. "You are awfully protective of him."

It suddenly got a lot hotter under the gas mask.

"No, he told me he was going to meet his family again and I intend on bringing him safely home," says Rey and glares fiercely at Ben who gulps under glare.

_**KR: Haha, she doesn't consider herself your girlfriend...** _

_I...I haven't told her how I feel..._

"Please stop hitting him, but she's right...you should at least meet him..." pleads his father.

"Look, why can't you just leave me alone?" snaps Ben, who rubs his head, that still hurts even though is hidden under gas mask and moves away from Rey, so she can't slap him again, as she had intended to, despite his father's wish.

His father sighs. "I can't leave you alone...because you remind me of my son."

_I AM YOUR SON! Why can't you kriffing see it?_

_**KR: Why can't you just...tell him?** _

_I don't want to...I told you...it's complicated..._

_**KR: Everything with you is...** _

"Where is he now?" asks Rey and his father exhales sadly. "I don't know..."

_Right in front of you, you stupid, stupid, old man!_

_**KR: Sigh...you are the idiot...** _

"But what I do know, is that I would do everything to get him back." His father stares right at his son, who stares coldly back at him through the mask.

_Give me million credits and hundred really cool lightsabers and I might consider it...might..._

_**KR: You're so evil...** _

"He will be back," says Rey, the one always hoping for her own family reunion and has no idea that there is a (very bitter) family reunion happening right in front of her eyes.

"I hope so..." says his father, that has no idea that his son is so close to him that they can nearly touch.

_You think I would come to my senses on my own...oh wait, that just what happened! No thanks to you!_

"No, what am I saying...he's never coming back...he's lost forever..." says his father and Rey looks sympathetic for the stranger and says. "That's awful to hear."

_No! You gave up on me...you didn't even try!_

_**KR: You're so angry, wouldn't just be easier to go back to the darkside and stop this drama?** _

_No...I'm never going back._

"Fine...I will meet my father...after I've delivered the map..." snarls Ben and Rey smiles relieved despite the coldness of the words.

_I will never return to him..._

"That's good kid..." His father smiles sadly, happy to be able to at least guide one prodigal son home, although he wishes most for his own to return.

_Okay leave us now in peace..._

"Before you leave...do you have any news of your leader...not Smoke...Kylo Ren...the first, I think...or does he have a another number? Or do you have a new master?" He scratches his head in thought.

_Oh come on...just go already! You lost the game. You lost me and therefor you have no right to ask anything about me!_

_**KR: But he cares...** _

_It's too late..._

* * *

 

"I thought you weren't from the First Order," snaps Finn at him, from behind him and who is making a new theory about why Kylo Ren was scared of the old man and has been watching them whole time, while Poe is playing a nurse to Chewie along with BB-8, by trying different mixtures and lozenges from Chewie's pouch.

"I'm not, I just happen to know their leader...personally...or I think he is their leader..." says his father, without taking his eyes of Ben, who glares at him through his mask.

_I'm tired of this game...go away..._

"Their leader...? Personally?" Rey looks between Ben and him, deep in thought.

_Glurgh...I hope she won't figure it out..._

"So you do work for the First Order?" Finn glares at him as he trusts nobody.

"I work for nobody...but myself. Any news of him?" asks his father, Ben in a firm voice.

"Why are you so obsessed with him?" asks Finn suspiciously. "Are you working for the Knights of Ren?"

"None of your business, I'm asking him, as he was in direct contact with him." His father points at Ben, who answers in a clipped voice that would make Captain Phasma proud: "You are talking about former Ben Solo, who is Kylo Ren the first and the master of the Knights of Ren."

_**KR: Ok, you are not calling me a nobody. Sorry I snapped earlier...but you are still stupid...** _

"Yes...how do you know that? I thought you gave up your birth names when you went to the darkside..." Han looks at Finn as if he seemed to know everything about the First Order, but Finn just shrugs as his knowledge about the Knights seems to be way outdated.

Rey looks more confused than ever while Poe and BB-8 looks intrigued. Chewie glares at him for not telling the truth.

"Do you want to know how many he has killed...tortured...maimed?" replies Ben with another question, ignores everyone around him and focus only on his father.

_**KR: Three Thousand and twenty three...twenty four if you had allowed me to kill the old coot...that started all this mess!** _

_The wombat rats and control panels don't count..._

_**KR: Oh...then only twenty three...** _

"I'm not interested in that..." His father looks disappointed and shocked to be reminded of that Ben's life with the Knights doesn't contain rainbows, lollipops or unicorns.

_**KR: That life would suck...** _

_I thought you liked cuteness.._

_**KR: Just some, not everything...and just so I can destroy it...** _

"Then what? Do you think he has come back to his senses or something?" snarls Ben at his father, who looks taken aback by that question, but then he shakes his head with sad face. "No...that can't happen..." His father exhales tiredly.

"Why do you think that? It could happen...it happened to me..." snaps Ben at him and a spark of hope comes into his father's eyes who ask: "It could? How...?"

"He needs help. Did you ever thought about that? Did you ever try to save him?" keeps Ben snapping at him.  
"Save him...? I can save him...?" His father looks like he's about to sprint right to the First Order to do just that.

_**KR: What on Jakku are you doing?** _

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe he has been waiting forever for you...to bring him home?" says Ben.

_**KR: You..really really should stop talking now...** _

"How do you know this? Did he tell you this?" His father looks a bit skeptical.

_**KR: Yeah, because we talk about emotional stuff like that in the Knights and braid each other's hair...** _

Ben shrugs. "I just know it."

"How can I save him...?" His father looks at him, desperate for answers.

_**KR: Do you want your dad to go to the First Order or something and ask after you when you are right in front of him? How cruel are you?** _

"It's too late now," snaps Ben without mercy making all hope die in his father's eyes. "So...I lost him..."

_**KR: That was so mean...** _

_He lost the game..._

"Yes, you did and I'm a traitor now so I'm never returning. You can have the Falcon back..." Ben at last climbs out of the grating area and gives his devastating father, a curt nod on his way to the exit.

_Goodbye forever...father..._

"What do you mean by back...? I thought it was your father's ship," snap Rey at him who climbs after him and is annoyed over being kept out of the plot.

_I said too much!_

_**KR: You've done nothing, but that...instead of just telling the kriffing truth!** _

"Yeah, I thought so too..." say Finn, who looks to be as equally as pissed, as he still doesn't understand fully what Ben's panic is all about.

Only Poe and BB-8 seems to be having fun at his expense and Chewie stands up as if he's ready to grab him if he decides to bolt.

"No, it's mine. I've been looking for ages for it. Why are you lying to them, kid?" growls his father at him and is about to grab his shoulder to interrogate him further, but Ben manages to get away in nick of time thanks to his force reflexes.

"I will just go in the next escape pod. Thanks for the ride..." Ben gives him a curt nod again and sprints away.

_Gotta get out of here and fast!_

"BEN, where are you going?!" shouts Rey after him.

"Ben? I thought his name was Ken...wait, father's ship...Ben...? Not...my...Ben..Ben?! Stop right there!" yells his father after him.

"Your Ben...?" says Rey surprised.

"His Ben...?" asks Finn and him and Rey look at each other as the realization sinks in. "No way..." They both facepalm. "We are idiots..."

Chewie who has had enough of this farce, captures him in mid run and growls at him: " _You're not going anywhere."_ Chewie looks surprised and glad to have gotten his voice back at last, while Ben feels his whole world just crushed.

_No..._

_**KR: Game over...** _

* * *

 

Chewie turns him around, forcing him to face his father at last, who says in an authoritative voice: "Take...of your mask..."

Ben hesitates, but knowing there really is no escape, as the growling wookie holding his shoulders makes a convincing argument, he takes it off.

_He won't recognize me there have been too many years, that there is just no way...he's not even forcesensetive, mom would know my forcesignature, the stupid security questions were just to be extra safe, but he will say, this is not Ben. This is an imposter...send him away. He even gave up on me a long time ago...so I better just disappear from his life forever..._

"Ben..." says his father in a hollow voice when at last he sees his face.

_Force...how can I answer that...I'm not ready for this confrontation. I believe I will never be ready._

" _Yes, this is little Ben...all grown up..."_ growls Chewie and nods thankfully to Poe and BB-8 for curing his sore throat.

Poe gives him a thumbs up and BB-8 does that with his electric arm by shooting small spark of electricity into the air.

"Yeah, it's Ben Solo." Poe grins deviously. "Your son."

_Why you...I will remember this!_

_**KR: Your "cover" had already been blown...** _

"His son!" Rey and Finn exclaims in unison, as the truth has finally been brought to light.

"So you are Han Solo, the smuggler," says Rey.

"I thought he was a war hero," say Finn.

"And my hero." Poe grins. "He's one of the reasons I became a pilot...well he and my family of pilots."

Even BB-8 chirps something, but Han Solo is not listening to any of their ramblings and only mumbles while staring at his prodigal son. "What...why...how?"

A torrent of emotions goes over his elderly features, while Ben is frozen in place. He is hoping to able to sink through the floor, disappear into space and not having to answer all these questions. This is his hardest test yet...

"Ben, you didn't have to panic this much, it was just your dad...wait...was that what was worse than the First Order?!" exclaims Finn, when realizing at last what Ben panic was really all about. He turns to Poe and BB-8 who snickers and says: "So that's what you were laughing about..."

They nod while Rey stalks to Ben with vengeance and shouts at him: "Did you just try to kill your...?!" Ben covers Rey's mouth again where she stops in front of him, but this time she bites him.

"Ouch!"

A flash of life comes into his father's eyes for a brief moment when hearing Ben hurt himself, but then it's gone again and he stares frozen at his long lost son.

Ben withdraws his bitten hand in shock and gazes stunned at murderous Rey.

_She bit me!_

_**KR: I told you she was dangerous.** _

_Just a love bite..._

_**KR: No...she's really, really mad at you for trying to kill your father, one of her heroes and to have her as an accomplice. And for lying to him and trying to abandon your family again...which is a big NO NO in her book!** _

She whispers at him. " _You're in so so much trouble..."_ Ben sees her death glare and is thankful that her staff is safely tucked away in a corner in the cockpit or he might get a real concussion this time.

_Yikes...!_

"Yeah, he's scared of his daddy. You know, he tried to kill you with poisonous gas...," says Poe while smirking, as if he's an older brother telling on his younger one.

"Shut up, Poe! Don't get me into more trouble!" growls Ben at him.

_Oh, I said that aloud. Didn't I?_

_**KR: Yebb...** _

_Force..._

But Han only keeps staring at Ben, still unable to move because of the shock.

_Did he get frozen again?_

Chewie is the first of the reunited family to make a move. He grabs Ben in a bone-crushing hug and growls happily: " _Little Ben is finally back!"_

"Ah, Chewie... I can't...breathe!"

Hearing his son's voice in great distress, finally snap Han Solo back to his senses. "Chewie, let go of him. Let go of my son!" When Chewie doesn't obey, Han tries to pulls his hands he away from crushing his son in an all too familiar hug, probably like the one he gave Han when he was unfrozen from the carbonite. Ben's return to them must be akin to that.

Chewie finally releases Ben, who coughs violently. He stiffens when he sees the fuming and piercing gaze of his father.

"Umm...hi...father..."

_Help me!_

_**KR: Oh, no you are on your own. You rejected me and my good advice and YOU got yourself into this stupid mess. You deal with it...** _

_But, he's going to kill me!_

_**KR: Not my problem...** _

_I'm so doomed!_

 

_Next up: Family time... (a father's lecture)_


	10. A father's lecture

_Well, the good news is that I don't have to hide anymore behind the suffocating gas mask or down in the small grating area..._

_**KR: The bad new is...you are doomed...!** _

_I'm so doomed!_

* * *

 

After the truth came out, his father started pacing in small circles as Ben remembered he only ever did, if something was worrying him deeply or if he was fuming mad or if Ben was in deep trouble, as is the case now and he has no idea where to even begin scolding him.

But, thanks to his force sensitivity, he can feel his father's feelings instead of just trying to guess them from his behavior and to his bewilderment, his father is both furiously angry and seemly delirious with happiness.

_Is it possible to be both at the same time? Why should he even be happy? My brain must be playing tricks on me...it wouldn't be the first time..._

_**KR: Don't you feel the same?** _

_No...or well I don't understand my feelings...I don't understand anything..._

_**KR: If I were you I would never trust my brain...trust me instead...** _

_That's never going to happen...I mean...again...but I've to get out of here, before my father comes to his senses!_

_**KR: You have no sense...** _

* * *

 

Ben looks quickly for an exit, but there is none as his whole gang has him surrounded and to make matters worse, his father isn't the only one mad at him, but his whole gang is staring angrily at him, even BB-8 is hopping mad at him for lying to his father, despite being one of the few in the room that knew the truth the whole time, thanks to his owner who had whispered it to him before the survival game began.

Poe doesn't seem be enjoying this so much as he did or maybe he just pretending not to, where he is staring sternly at him along with the others, Finn is angry over having been panicking over nothing and having been made a complete fool, but Rey is probably the angriest of them all for having been used in Ben's long plot of not meeting his father ever again, a big sin in the eyes of the one who has been waiting forever for her own family to return. She seems to be very tempted to retrieve her staff from the cockpit to teach Ben a harsh lesson in not leaving his family ever again, but thankfully, she along with everyone else is waiting for his father to make the first move.

_**KR: Checkmate...** _

Ben feels even more trapped than when he was down in the grating area, so he is very tempted to jump back down there, but this time with the grating over, preferably bolted in with the force so he can't get out and no one can get in...without a least a crowbar or a lightsaber...

Chewie, who follows his eye movements, puts the grating back on and sits on it, cross legged and growls at him, as if he knows what he was thinking. " _Don't even think about it, little Ben."_

_Damn...I'm really trapped now..._

_**KR: And you can't blame anyone but yourself...** _

_I will blame you..._

_**KR: Hey! That's so unfair! And I doubt your dad will buy it...he never did.** _

_Huh...what's that supposed to mean...?_

_**KR: You will find out...** _

"So...that's what you were trying to tell me this whole time..." mutters his father to Chewie, who at long last has come to some conclusion and stops his endless nerve wrecking pacing.

Chewie nods and wiggles a finger at Ben sternly. " _Naughty Ben."_

Ben gulps audible under the wookiees stern gaze and his father starts pacing again furiously, while mumbling all the time. "Everything makes sense now...the stupid mask...why he couldn't come up...everything he said...all his...lies...why he tried to run away...from me...even the poisonous gas..."

His father stops in front of him and Ben stiffens under his stern gaze. He glares dagger at the gas mask, which Ben is still holding in his hands and Ben quickly hides it behind his back, as if that would make everyone of his lie go away.

"Give me that!"

Ben throws the mask to him, as he doesn't dare to come near him in this mood and his father catches it with ease and throws into a wall behind his gang, who jumps up in fright.

His father stares after it as it falls to the ground with a breaking noise, which startles his gang even further and they all share the same look, " _Now we know where Ben's got his temper from!"_

_Mom's gots a even worse temper...and that's saying a lot...and I got the temper from both of them...no wonder I'm a mess..._

_**KR: I'm so glad that wasn't our helmet...he might have broken it...** _

_Or my head..._

At last he turns back to Ben and thunders: "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

_**KR: He's so angry with you...** _

_Thank you captain obvious!_

_**KR: He's a good darkside material...too bad he isn't forcesensetive...** _

_You leave my father alone!_

"Go find a corner and think about what you did."

There is not a single hesitation or quiver in his voice any more and Ben is stunned to see how his father could change his whole demeanor from what was before a complete stranger into his strict father, once again.

"What!" exclaims Ben and stares in disbelief at his dad.

_**KR: He asked you to find a corner...** _

_I know what he said...but he can't be serious...I excepted a horrible lecture...not...a corner time!_

"You heard me, I'm too...upset to deal with you right now. Find a corner now," his father points at the appointed corner so Ben won't even have to waste time to find one and yet Ben denies to give up yet and succumb to that childish treatment.

"I'm not going..." begins Ben angrily, but his father stops him by staying in a threatening voice: "You will go into that corner now or I will drag you on the ear to it."

Ben grumbles and stomps on his way to the dreaded corner, while passing by his furious gang, who all think he deserves this childish punishment for acting like a stubborn fool.

* * *

 

Ben's brain is still in escape mode, whereas he stares into the corner, despite having lost the survival game and how on Corusant, did he manage to end up in a corner twice the same day...?

_Or is this another day...what time is it? Is it night-time? Everything seems to have gone both so quickly and slow at the same time...or am I trapped in some timeless loop...how did I get myself into this...this mess?_

_**KR: By not listening to me...** _

_But, I can still escape this stupidity...I just have to ignite my saber...no one would dare to stand in my way then, not even dad...I just have to kidnap Rey and BB-8 on the way, to take them with me to the resistance!_

_**KR: Kidnap Rey...you? Yeah, right...** _

_Then I will just ask her very nicely..._

_**KR: Rey hates you now and...BB-8 will shock you if you come near him...** _

_Fine, then I will just go alone to the resistance, with no map...and no Rey...at least mom will be happy to see me..._

_**KR: That's a horrible, horrible plan...have you forgotten about what your mom said?** _

_Mom...? What she said...? MOM! You're right...if she hears about anything about this...she's going to kill me and break my saber!_

_**KR: You tried to kill your father...and Chewie...** _

_I'm so screwed! I've to convince my dad...and Chewie not tell on me!_

_**KR: And Poe, don't forget he's the one reporting directly to your mom...** _

_Damn...I've to be nice to Poe...I'm not sure I can do that...he was enjoying this way too much! And what's up with that guy? One minute he super overprotective and annoying and the next he enjoys seeing me in misery and even laughs about it! Like an...older brother... a mean older brother..._

_**KR: He loves to torment you...just like Rey...** _

_Rey doesn't love to torment me! She just...punishes me...for being bad..._

_**KR: And you...like that? No, please don't answer that!** _

_Okay, I won't..._

_**KR: Thank you...for doing something right...** _

Ben rests his aching and sore head on the cold wall. He is thankful that he got some time to think over his plan to kidnap Rey and BB-8 before trying to execute it, as it would've just ended horribly and got him into even more trouble, than he already is.

_**KR: Maybe you should always go in a corner to think before you do stuff. It sure would save me a lot of a headache...** _

Deep down Ben has to admit that he prefers this situation over what he had few minutes ago, as it was killing him inside that his father didn't recognise him despite all the obvious signs and at the same, that he was for some reason, mentally unable to tell him the truth. Now, things aren't any longer in his hand and things don't feel like they are spinning out of control, as his father has taken control of him and even though Ben will never admit it aloud, that is what he had wished for...for a very long time.

Someone to help him get his life back...on track, but of course not without a fight...as he's too stubborn to admit he's wrong and last, but not least he still furious with his father for leaving him behind in the first place...and demands an explanation for it...a good one...

_At last we can move forward...whatever that means...your move...dad..._

* * *

 

"Did you all know about this? Were you keeping me son away from me?!"

Behind him, Ben can hear his father scold his gang harshly as if they were all his accomplices in his horrible prank gone all wrong.

_Well, at least I am not the only one in trouble..._

_**KR: I feel a bit sorry for them to be taking the fall for your stupidity...kind of like how you always did to me...** _

_Huh...what are you blabbering about...?_

"No, sir! We had no idea who you really were! I would never, ever break a family apart!" shouts Rey, angry that anyone would think that she out of everyone would do that, and Ben can feel her murderous glare on his back.

_**KR: She hates you...she really, really hates you now...** _

_Everyone does...at the minute...and what did you mean by you always taking the fall...?_

"He made a fool of us all...really Ben, your father...I expected more from former Kylo Ren. Afraid of your dad, like a naughty little kid," says Finn and Ben can hear him shake his head. "I expected way more..."

_**KR: The defected soldier is lecturing us...I feel so ashamed...it's all your fault!** _

_I feel the tiniest a bit guilty for making him panic so much...but at the same time it was nice to get him on my side again...though only temporary...and it was also a good revenge for trying to steal Rey from me...and you still haven't answered my question..._

_**KR: You know by like acting like a fool, you might have lost Rey to him.** _

_What no! I will explain to her...I have a good reason for what I did! And can't Finn just have Poe instead...? And what about my question...?_

"What about you? You kept snickering a lot...you knew, didn't you?" snaps his father, that can only be directed to Poe and Ben can hear how Poe gulps audible, which gives Ben a little revenge for his treatment.

"Yes...I knew...I'm sorry sir...and Ben, I'm sorry too..." says Poe shamefully, as if it was indeed only a prank gone way too far.

_He said sorry to me?!_

BB-8 chirps something that sound as sorry as well.

_**KR: Hmm...maybe he isn't such a jerk after all...even though he's in the resistance...at least general Hux would never say sorry to me...** _

_Or you to him...and my question...?_

_**KR: Maybe after I killed him...grandpa style...except grandfather never said sorry, just accepted apologizes after having killed the wrongdoer...but I would put my own spin on it...** _

_You are not going to answer my question about you taking the blame...are you?_

_**KR: Nope.** _

_Jerk..._

"And you thought it was funny...I haven't seen him since he was ten years old!" growls his father at Poe for that unfunny joke on his expense and even though, Ben gets the slightest enjoyment of hearing him scolding annoying Poe, he can't let this go, so he turns away from the corner and snaps at his father: "And whose fault is that?!"

_**KR: I thought you were in enough trouble already...** _

A silence follows Ben's world, all his of gang plus Chewie, stare speechless at his audacity of daring to leave the corner, while his own father seems to age about years, because of his question.

"My fault. Now, turn back to the corner," his father at last says sternly and Ben obeys even though he's far from satisfied with that answer.

_His fault...I need more that that. Why did you abandon me...?!_

"I'm really sorry, sir..." says Poe in a contrite voice.

"As long as you are sorry..." says his father.

_Haha! Poe got so scolded by his hero! In his face!_

_**KR: He said he was sorry...and you know, I know someone who is going to get a way, way, way bigger and worse scolding when he leaves the corner...** _

_Oh, o..._

"But, to be frank I didn't think it was right of me to interfere in family matters. Ben had to have a very good reason for why he was lying, hiding and trying to run away from you, sir...not to mention tried to kill you..." says Poe and Ben can just see him smirk, even though he has his back turned.

"Shut up Poe, don't remind him!" shouts Ben at him and turns around without thinking, as shouting at Poe to shut up, has become a daily habit of his, but when he meets his father's furious gaze, he turns straight back to the corner.

_**KR: You could just tell your father it was all a survival game, I'm sure he would appreciate that...** _

_No, he wouldn't..._

"Ben, come here!" barks his father at him, as he knows he can't keep Ben in that corner for too long.

"No, I'm fine here..." says Ben as if he thinking about camping out forever in the corner.

_**KR: Seriously...don't make him madder than he already is...** _

"Now!" shouts his father at him and Ben can hear him move behind him, as if he going to remove him physically from the corner.

"Aren't you still mad at me...?" asks Ben in a much smaller voice than he intended and he can hear his father stop behind him.

_That was his logic behind sending me in a corner in the first place..._

_**KR: He said he was upset, not mad...** _

_Not mad? He threw the mask in a violent fit befitting of a Dark Jedi!_

His father gives a long suffering sigh and says in much milder voice: "Of course I am...but not at you...but at what you did. Now, come, son," he adds the last part so softly, that Ben can't do anything except leave the corner and face his father in round two.

* * *

 

His father stares him down the minute he steps out of the corner, unnerving him like he hadn't felt since in the ever-imposing presence of Snoke.

But this is different, this is personal and Ben is beyond annoyed to see that his gang plus Chewie are still in the room, watching everything that happens between him and his father.

_Don't my "friends" and Chewie have anything better to do than to watch me get scolded? Can't they go play chess or feed the monsters that my father and Chewie is apparently transporting or watch the navigation system...or take a nap? Why are they even still here..?_

_**KR: They want to watch...they got scolded because of you...they need their revenge...** _

_When you put it like that...I can't really I blame them as I would do the same..._

_**KR: And Rey wants to scold you too...and Poe probably wants to record this so he can laugh about it later or worse, show former Kylo Ren getting scolded to the resistance...** _

_Poe is a jerk as usual...but Rey will get her turn..._

_**KR: And she wants hit you...so hard with her staff that you will see stars.** _

_We are in space, of course I will see stars..._

_**KR. You know what I mean...** _

"Son...what do you have to say for yourself?" rebukes his father him and places a great emphasis on the word son, as pretending not to be his son, is one of the reason he's in great trouble. One of many...

_Is he talking about turning to the darkside and joining the First Order? Or just what I did to him now?_

_**KR: If he was talking about all the darkside stuff, you would never leave the corner...** _

"I'm...sorry...?" says Ben to do some damage control and his father just shakes his head with a deep frown as he's not buying that sorry for a minute.

"You have grown...you're not a little kid anymore," says his father after another unnerving inspection.

"Yes," replies Ben.

_What did he expect after so many years?_

_**KR: You have grown...but not matured...** _

_He looks so old all of sudden...he didn't have gray hair last time I saw him..._

_**KR: Each and every gray hair is your fault...** _

_We don't know that...a lot can happen in twenty years..._

"Well, you are my kid. That hasn't changed...and never will." Han gives him a stern look.

_Not sure, what he means by that...is that a threat? Does he plan on keep treating me like one...? Like mom...? Like Lor San Tekka...? Like Poe...okay more like everyone..._

_**KR If he will..I suggest you scream...** _

_Why?_

_**KR: I just want to see you get into more trouble...** _

_You're so evil...one minute you are giving my advice and the next you want to see me fail..._

_**KR: Let me get one thing straight, I will always contradict everything you say and do, as it is my job to confuse you and destroy your self esteem so I can take over again...Oh, no I shouldn't have said that!** _

_No, you shouldn't have..._

_**KR: Pretend, you didn't hear that...** _

_Okay, fine..I will...pretend I didn't hear that..._

_**KR: Thanks, much appreciated...I don't want to be fired...** _

_You make no sense as usual...but, if I understood you correctly...if I would suddenly turn into a model son...you would still lecture me for it...?_

_**KR: I might...remember, I'm not your friend...** _

_I know that...it still hurts to hear you admit it._

_**KR: But, as your frenemy...** _

_So you are my friend...?_

_**KR: Enemy...and a friend...if you would've just come forward right away, your dad might have been proud of you for turning to the light on your own...** _

_Oh...I didn't think of that..._

_**KR: You never think...but, now he is so angry with you for lying to him and trying to run away...** _

_I can still fix this...and don't we agree on Darth Vader?_

_**KR: Of course, Darth Vader was cool...you still agree with that...?** _

_Absolutely..._

_**KR: Good, then you have some brain left...** _

* * *

 

"Now, I ask you again. What do you have to say for yourself?" asks his father him.

_Didn't he ask me that already...? Are we going back in time? Deja vu?_

_**KR: No, you just didn't give him a satisfying answer...** _

"I'm...back...?" Ben gives him an awkward smile.

_**KR: Is this a sit-com?** _

However, those two simple words seem to crumble something inside his father, whose knees buckle under him as fall onto the floor with a shocked look.

_Woah...what just happened to him...?_

_**KR: You really have to ask...?** _

"Are you alright, mister Solo?" asks Poe and helps him sit up on container, while all the gang plus Chewie and Ben look worried.

"Back...he's back...I nearly lost my son again...I can't believe it...he was right before my eyes...this whole time..." mumbles his father like a deranged man and rubs his face, as if he's trying to wake up from a dream. "I got my kid back...finally I got my kid...back..."

_Kid...? I'm not a kid!_

_**KR: Could've fooled me...** _

_But what's going on with dad...I've never seen him like this..._

_**KR: Congratulations, you broke him. You got your petty revenge...** _

_I didn't mean for it go this far...I...how can I fix this...? Wait...why am I asking you?!_

_**KR: Just shout daddy, hug him and asks for his forgiveness. You know you want to...** _

_I can't...not in front of them...I mean! No, I don't want that...I'm still mad at him for leaving me! He has some serious explaining to do!_

_**KR: And you as well...** _

"Ben! How could you treat your poor father like this?!" shouts Rey at him and points at his still shocked father. "You know better!"

All of his gang plus Chewie nod in agreement with her and she takes a threatening step towards Ben, but his father, who has recovered somewhat, stops murderous Rey by stepping in front of her and putting a hand in between her and his son.

"Let me take care of him," he pleads.

"But...?" she asks puzzled, as if the only way to teach him a lesson in not to abandon family, is to beat him over his stubborn head, repeatedly with her stick.

"He's my son," says his father with finality.

Rey nods in understanding and gives Ben a look. " _Obey your father or else..."_

_**KR: You better do as she says...if you want to life...** _

"Let me see your hand." His father waves him to come to him.  
"Hand...?" asks Ben and all of the gang plus Chewie look puzzled over that question.

Ben looks at one of his bare hands.

_Come to think of it...where did my gloves go?_

_**KR: You must have lost them on your way here, just like when you were a kid...** _

_Well...a lot has happened...I must have left them behind in the old coot's shuttle that got blown up..._

"The one...she bit." His father points at Rey behind him, who stiffens in outrage.

"I only did that, because he tried to kill you!" shouts Rey defensibly and rest of the gang and Chewie, agree with her reasoning.

"That's none of your business. It's between me...and my son." His father gives him a hard look, that would make the most hardened Sith shake in their boots.

_**KR: I know that look...he's going to spank you for it...** _

_No, he is not...shut up Kylo...!_

"Come, here Ben. We don't have all day," commands his father and points a spot in front of him.

"This is nothing...really," says Ben, who is not too keen on going near his father when he's still far too angry with him.

"NOW, BEN!"

Ben jumps over to him, as he as has never been able to disobey that tone and his father takes his wrist in his hand.

"Why do you always have to get bitten by wild animals?" His father tsks, while looking at the small, white mark on his palm and shakes his head sternly.

"She's not a wild animal...just a scavenger..." says Ben and looks at Rey and when he notices on her frown that she is far from happy with him or that description, he adds: "A beautiful scavenger."

Rey lifts her eyebrows in a surprise.

_**KR: You can do better than that...don't just comment her looks...** _

"A beautiful, clever and powerful scavenger," says Ben while looking straight at her and Rey's eyes widen in shock.

_**KR: A bit over the top...** _

Rey turns to the others for answers, Finn look defeated as he sees he can never beat that, Poe chuckles and BB-8 chirps in surprise.

" _He's a player just like his dad,"_ growls Chewie and grins teasingly and Rey just shakes her head puzzled.

"Chewie," says his father, who asks for something with his hand and is not paying the slightest attention to Ben's wishful love life, only the wound on his hand and Chewie digs into his pouch and hands him a small bottle and a cotton.

"It will burn a little first," says his father warningly as he puts Ben's hand under his arm and pours the liquid into a cotton, before cleaning the wound.

"Ow, ow, ow..." ows Ben as the burning pain of the disinfection starts.

_**KR: This can't seriously hurt...** _

_Well, I'm not used to disinfect my wounds...I just keep them the way they are and hope for the best..._

"How dare you lie to me, repeatedly and to make matters worse, tried to run...away...?" growls his father at him as he cleans his wound carefully.

_**KR: He looks hurt. You should be ashamed of yourself...** _

_You are telling me...?_

"Umm...I panicked...?" replies Ben and tries to get away from him, but as he holds his hand in a deadlock, he can't go anywhere.

"That my son...was really naughty..." His father frowns at him as he hands the used cotton to Chewie, who growls in agreement and throws it into a waste basket in the other side of the room.

_Naughty?!...No, it was self defence...!_

_**KR: It was naughty.** _

"Sorry..." Ben dips his head and Rey and the rest of his gang plus Chewie shake their head sternly.

Chewie then hands his father a band-aid from the pouch and his father puts it over Ben's wound with a surgical precision.

"There good as new." His father claps lightly on the band-aid and lets go of his hand, which Ben lifts up into the light to see his father's work.

He sees a colorful kiddies band aid with a picture of Ewoks playing drums around Threepio who sits in a high seat.

"Umm...thanks...?" Ben smiles awkwardly and his father and Chewie nod seriously as if they had just performed a life-saving surgery on him.

_**KR: He just bandaged your wound...after you tried to kill him and lied to him. Don't you have any shame?** _

_Why are you lecturing me...? Oh, right, you will always say the opposite...but, I thought you, at least wanted me to kill..._

_**KR: Yes...but not right now. You have a very bad kill timing...** _

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_**KR: You will see...** _

_No, because it won't happen._

_**KR: It will. You just don't know it yet...** _

_You are bluffing._

_**KR: Maybe...** _

_It won't happen..._

_**KR: Oh, it will...** _

_It won't, now shut up!_

_**KR: Shutting up..for now...** _

 

_Next up: The lollipop and the lecture of doom...?_


	11. The lollipop and the lecture of doom

"You did good, kid," says his father, who pats his shoulder encouragingly and his soft words and accompanying touch, draw Ben rudely from his morbid thoughts.

_What...?_

" _You were so brave little Ben..."_ growls Chewie and ruffles his hair, like he did to him when he was a child, putting static electricity into it, before diving into his pouch to look for something to give him. " _You need a reward..."_

_They...they are joking...right? And aren't they still mad with me...? Why are they acting like I just fell out of tree, scratched my knee or something? Do they have short term memory? Hello, what about everything I did to the galaxy? And to them...?_

_**KR: Haha, brave...if they only knew about the torture you had to endure for the darkside...this was nothing...and well...I've no idea why they are acting like everything is back to normal...that's really weird...** _

_Well, I'm never telling them about the torture...they might freak out...just look how they overreacted over that small scratch...and really aren't they mad at me any more? What happened? This can't be it...right?_

_**KR: This could be psychological warfare...they might be testing you...waiting for you to confess your crimes...** _

_I doubt that's the reason..._

To object somewhat to the childish treatment, Ben pulls up his hood so Chewie or no one else can pat him ever again or at least not today, but to Ben's annoyance, his father pulls down the hood, frowns at him and scolds him: "No more hiding from us."

_Okay, he's still mad at me...it would be weird if he had forgiven me already..._

_**KR: You haven't even said you're sorry...** _

_I've have._

_**KR: It wasn't a real sorry...** _

_Maybe..._

Ben is very tempted to pull the hood back up, just to show his father, he can't control everything, but as he has no longing to get into stupid tug and a war over it, as it could rip it, he allows his father to win this battle.

"Chewie, has a surprise for you," his father accepts something from Chewie's seemly bottomless pouch and he hands it over to Ben, whose eyes go wide in horror, when he sees that it's a yellow lollipop like you get when you go to the dentist.

 

* * *

 

"No way! Just how old do you think I am?!" Ben backs away in disgust and everyone in his gang looks speechless over his father's actions.

_**KR: He gave you candy...? Is he now rewarding you for your bad behavior...? And Chewie, I expected more sense from him...! At least your mom would not like this...** _

_This feels like a punishment..._

_**KR: Lollipop is never a punishment...not even for darkside users...** _

_I hate lollipops...there is nothing, but sugar in them..._

_**KR: I didn't know you were a health freak...** _

_I'm not a health freak! I haven't' even slept in ages, eaten anything or drunk...if anything I am the opposite of one...but I hate, really hate lollipops..._

"Just take it, Ben," commands his father, who has had enough of his stubbornness, puts it forcibly his hands and takes the plaster of it. "Eat it."

Ben grumbles, sticks it into his mouth with a frown and crosses his arms.

"And lose that attitude, mister...this minute," barks his father at him and as Ben has no longing to get back to the corner, he apologizes to him by bowing his head: "Sorry, sir...and thanks Chewie..." He fakes a smile and Chewie smiles back.

"Where is your helmet?" asks his father out of the blue, while looking around the room and Ben nearly chokes on the lollipop.

 

* * *

 

"My helmet...?" Ben coughs and takes out the lollipop of doom.

_**KR: What's he going to do with it?!** _

_Well, he's not getting it...I can still use it...and he can't know I was hiding it from him earlier...he will be so mad at me...for all the lies..._

His father stares at him, as if he's trying to see through him and Ben quickly puts the lollipop back into his mouth, as if that would milds his unforgiving stare somewhat.

"I don't know...I lost it somewhere..." Ben looks innocently to his side, but meets Rey's furious gaze, who knows he's lying and turns back to his father instead.

"You better not be lying to me," barks his father at him and Ben lifts both of his palms up in a surrendering gesture and replies: "I'm not...I swear..."

"Stop lying!" Rey uses the force easily to make the helmet fly from his pouch to her and everyone gawks at her raw display of power, even BB-8, who chirps amazed.

But no one is as stunned as Rey herself, who looks shocked at the helmet in her grasp and looks to Ben for help. "Wha...what just happened?"

"You used the force..." replies Ben, who never in million years expected to say these words while sucking on a lollipop, as it isn't cool to do it that way.

"No I didn't, I just looked intently at your pouch and wanted to get the helmet from it..." says Rey, who still looks surprised over what she had done and everyone else stare at her in wonder.  
"That...was using the force..." replies Ben tiredly over having to explain the same thing over and over again.

"Oh...cool...I guess...It's easier than I thought...to be honest..." Rey shrugs and hands the helmet over to his father, who stares between the helmet and his son and does not look happy.

But, Ben is too busy thinking about Rey's power to worry about that now.

_**KR: She must be using cheat mode or something...** _

_No, she must be the chosen one...there can't be any other explanation..._

_**KR: Next thing you know, she will defeat you in a lightsaber duel...** _

_That's not going to happen...not without training at least..._

_**KR: A newborn could defeat you in a fight...** _

_Hey! That was uncalled for!_

_**KR: Just telling the truth...** _

_Uncle Luke won't even have to teach her a thing. She will teach him, if anything..._

"But, didn't it take you like twenty years to learn this stuff?" Rey says a bit snidely which makes Poe, Finn and BB-8 chuckle, but his father looks guilty for some reason and Chewie looks sorry for Ben's humiliation.

_**KR: Ouch...she certainly burned you there...** _

"Don't underestimate the power of the lollipop...I mean the force," rebukes Ben her and wishes he could use the said force to make the kriffing lollipop in his mouth disappear, as she or anyone can hardly take him seriously this way and it's distracting him.

_**KR: No one took you seriously before either...** _

"I'm terrible sorry...hang on! Why am I saying sorry?! You should be the one saying sorry...you should be ashamed of yourself for continue lying to your dad!" Rey glares at him and wiggles a finger in his direction. "You, naughty, naughty boy." She frowns at him with her hands on her hips.

Ben blushes and enjoys her scolding way too much and desperately wishes, they were somewhere alone together, instead stuck in his father's ships, with his father, two guys he hope will just end up together so Finn will stop pestering his Rey, plus a wookie and a droid watching everything...and some monsters...

"Oh...he's in trouble alright. So...you were hiding it from me..." says his father seething and interrupts Ben's dirty thoughts about Rey before it even begins and jolts him hard to the harsh reality again.

_Gleep..._

"Sorry...sir..." Ben sucks innocently on the lollipop and evades his father's furious gaze.

_**KR: Don't throw it into the wall! It will get a scratch!** _

"Chewie, get rid of it," says father and his command shocks Ben to the core.

_**KR: Noooo!** _

Ben takes the lollipop out of his mouth to shout and reach after it. "No! I need it!"

"Why do you need it...? Doesn't matter, you are never getting it back." His father lifts the helmet away from him, but Ben still tries to get it from him.

"No, I need it! I need it!" Ben flaps his arms like a man possessed after his helmet.

"Stop this tantrum!" scolds his father him and Chewie, Poe and Finn look ready to hold Ben down if need to and Rey and BB-8 looks worried over his desperate behavior.

All of a sudden the lollipop goes flying in all that struggle, but before it dramatically hits the ground, Rey captures it in mid air with her force reflexes and hands it over to Ben.

"Here."

"No...you can keep it..." says Ben flustered and Rey looks surprised by that gesture.

"Sure?" She looks between the lollipop and Ben and when he nods, she puts it in her mouth and smiles. "Thanks."

_An indirect kiss!_

_**KR: Bet, you want that lollipop back now...** _

Finn, Poe and BB-8 can't believe what she did and stare at her in great disbelief while Chewie grins and chuckles.

"What...I never waste food." Rey shrugs. "I'm still mad at you." She frowns at Ben, so he won't get any funny ideas and yet he can't take the eyes of how she sucks on the lollipop and imagines that they are kissing instead.

"Do you all want one? You must be hungry," asks his father, who doesn't seem to notice the strange mood at all and Chewie digs into his pouch and fishes up two lollipops and gives one to Poe and one to Ben.

"I don't need a another one!" shouts Ben as if Chewie had just put a needle in him.

"You will take it and like it, you need sugar in your system. Bet you haven't eaten anything in awhile," says his father sternly, puts the dreaded lollipop into his hand and Poe, always so helpful says: "He's right. You nearly passed out a couple of times, probably hasn't slept either..."

"Poe!" snaps Ben at Poe and his father looks at him and frowns in worry along with Chewie and Rey.

_Don't tell him! He will force me to take a nap!_

"That's not good..." Before Ben knows it, his father has put his hand on his forehead. "You're a bit warm," he remarks and Ben jumps away from his touch as if it burned him.

"Of course I'm warm! My face was under a gas mask for a very long time!" he snaps at him, startling his whole gang and enraging his father with his tone.

_Stop treating me like a child!_

His father, who has had enough of his attitude, pulls his ear and says sternly: "Do you want to go back to the corner?" He points at the corner Ben did not too long ago vacate.

_Not my ear again! And not the kriffing corner!_

"No...sir..." Ben grimaces in pain.

_Of course not! And please let go of my ear!_

"Then don't use that tone on me," his father frowns at him before letting go of him.

"Sorry...sir.." Ben rubs his sore ear while Rey and Chewie frown sternly at him, Poe of course seems to enjoys this along with BB-8 and even Finn has started to see the entertainment in former Kylo Ren getting scolded by his father, as he smirks.

_Traitor..._

Chewie growls pitifully as he tries to search for something in his pouch and came up empty.

"Oh, sorry, We don't seem to have enough," apologizes his father to his gang, though mostly to Finn as he's left behind.

_**KR: What is this a children's birthday party?** _

_If it is...it sucks._

 

* * *

 

"It's okay, we can share. You can start," says Poe to Finn and Finn shrugs a bit disappointed and it about to take it, when Ben gives him his instead and says: "No, you can just have mine..."

"I told you to eat it!" snaps his father at him, angry that he can't even obey him in simplest tasks.

"I'm not hungry." Ben shrugs and his father pokes him sternly in the chest and growls:"Isn't that another one of your...lies...?"

Rey and Chewie give him a stern look as well, while Finn and Poe eat their lollipops in peace and BB-8 looks bored.

_What' up with his obsession with giving me a lollipop?_

_**KR: I think he's just trying to be nice...in his own...strange way...** _

_I loved them as a child...I hate them today...they remind me too much of my...lost childhood..._

_**KR: Ah...now I understand the hatred of them...I didn't know you were this deep...** _

_Shut up, Kylo...I don't want to deal with you on top of everything..._

_**KR: Well, I'm not going anywhere...** _

_That is what I was afraid of..._

"I don't need one...why are you even carrying lollipops? Were you expecting to meet children...?" asks Ben and hopes that will end his father pitiful attempts once and for all, to give him candy twenty years too late.

_**KR: That came out wrong...well, he met you...** _

_Shut up! I'm not a child!_

_**KR: What...you are his child...?** _

_Damn, you're right...sorry for shouting at you..._

_**KR: Eh...um...okay...apology accepted...?** _

_And that's the only apology you are ever going to get from me..._

_**KR: Hey, you don't know that...** _

"No and you shouldn't give children too much candy...the umm...monster that we are transporting happens to like them...beside human meat," his father's clears his throat with a guilty look and Finn squeaks in horror and moves closer to Poe to protection and BB-8 does the same.

_Only my dad could find monsters like that, that like strange things...on top of human meat...so typical dad..._

"What monster is that?" asks Poe curiously.

"Is there a lollipop monster?" asks Rey intrigued and is probably imagining something from a children's book or a play.

Chewie growls something carelessly.

"Is it a Rancar? No, I don't think they eat lollipops," says Rey, deep in thought.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." replies his father, who suddenly sees and remembers, he's still holding the helmet of his son dark past, in his hands or thinks it's the perfect distraction from the topic about man eating monsters...but not darkside ones.

He stares fuming between the darkside helmet and his son, as if he just remembering everything bad his son had done these past years and why he was mad at him in the first place.

_Oh...no_

_**KR: You should've been thankful for the candy...and leave it at that...** _

"You are never, ever using this mask ever again. Get rid of it for me." His father hands it over to Chewie this time with success, as Ben doesn't try to get it again and Chewie gives him a salute before heading off with it. " _Yes, sir."_

"But...we can still use it...in emergencies...I mean..." says Ben pleadingly, who hopes Chewie is not planning on throwing it out with the trash and just hiding it in some storage, so Ben can try to find it later.

"No!" His father turns sharply to him with an uncompromising gaze and pokes him hard in the chest after each word. "You will stop this pretend game at once! Do you hear me?!"

_**KR: Pretend game?!** _

_And now...the lecture of all lectures begins..._

* * *

 

"I said...do you understand me?" asks his father sternly and crosses his arms.

"Yes sir..." replies Ben defeated...for now.

"And you will call me father," says his father in his no nonsense voice and waves a finger at him.

"Yes...father..." Ben had a bit of trouble saying that word after so many years.

_**KR: He's going to confiscate your saber next...** _

His father notices how Ben tries in vain to shield his saber and he sighs. "You can keep your saber...for now, as long as you don't harm anyone or...anything with it."

_**KR: What does he think the saber is...a decoration?!** _

"Yes..." replies Ben and sighs relieved, that he's allowed to keep something from his past.

_**KR: You think so too?!** _

_No, you idiot...I'm just playing the part...of an obedient son..._

_**KR: Oh...hope you are good actor then...** _

"What did I say?" His father frowns at him.

_**KR: Apparently not...** _

_I'm done acting..._

"Yes...father..." replies Ben as sincerely as he can.

"So you have really defected from the First Order?" asks his father.

"Yes...father"

"And you have...finally...come back to light-side?"

"Yes...father..."

"Even though you tried to kill me...us?" Han's gaze grows even sterner.

Chewie who has returned from doing something awful to his helmet, growls. " _That wasn't nice little Ben!"_

"It was a...eh...mistake. Sorry...father..." replies Ben and blushes over being reminded of his stupidity.

"Why?" asks his father.

"Why...did I try to kill you...?"

_Please don't let me answer that...!_

Han's glare intensifies, something Ben didn't think was even possible."Why come back now?"

"I want to come home...I'm on my way to mom...she knows I'm coming...we have the map to uncle Luke and are on our way to the resistance."

_Not you! So can you just drop it! I don't need your help...It's too late...and I already told you all this stuff!_

_**KR: Yeah, as Ken Rolo, not as Ben Solo...** _

His father half-smiles and seems to be very pleased with that answer. "That's good kid. That's really good..." He circles around him till he stands in front of him once more.

_Maybe he will let me off the hook with that? Perhaps he will send me and the others off in a escape pod to the nearest planet, to find another ship. That would be for the best..._

_**KR: Haha, in your dreams.** _

His father taps his foot with a folded arms and glowers at Ben, whole suddenly feels so physically small in his presence, like a little kid again.

 _Oh...no now comes the lecture of a lifetime!_ Ben braces himself by shutting his eyes, in the vain attempt that would lower the volume of the yelling he was about to be subjected to, rightfully so, though he thinks Kylo Ren deserves it more. But he had hidden himself deep inside his subconsciousness, far from the wrath of Han Solo.

_That cowardly traitor..._

* * *

 

"You know how much pain you've caused your mother...no us...not to mention your poor uncle!"

Since it was a rhetorical question, Ben decides he's didn't have to answer it. Despite that fact Han Solo is still looking for an answer.

"Well, do you?"

"No..I mean yes, sir..."

_I don't want to be reminded of that...can't we just begin anew...? Pretend my fall never happened?_

_**KR: If you hadn't played that stupid survival game, he might have...** _

"Look at me, when I'm speaking to you."

Ben forces himself to open his eyes, meeting his father furious gaze. He doesn't understand why he can't just face him head on. It is ridiculous, he is a grown man, a former dark lord. And yet his father scolding make him feel ten all over again. It was oddly reminiscent of the time he tried to steal the Millennium falcon to make sure his father would never leave him or his mother again. That his father was angry at that time when he caught him in the act, was an understatement.

_Oh, no! I'm not going to think about what he did to me then...!_

"I see that actions speak louder than words with you, son." His father walks dangerously over to him, but Ben backs away in fright.

"What are you planning on doing?" He looks desperately at Rey, Finn, Poe, BB-8 and Chewie, who are all witnesses to his scolding.

Poe snickers with a happy grin on his face despite his apology from earlier, Fin looks a bit dumbstruck over witnessing former Kylo Ren get a harsh scolding from his father, Rey looks a tiny bit sympathetic, but mostly angry along with Chewie, though Chewie also gives him a very stern look and BB-8 chirps something evilly.

_Why do I always have audience for everything I do now? I don't even like crowds...in fact I hate them!_

"You know what. You've had it coming in a long time," says his father in stern voice as he keeps lessen the distance between them.

_**KR: True..** _

Ben backs away as he whips his head between his father and the audience. "What here..now...I mean you can't!"

_I'm an adult!_

_**KR: Not true...** _

"And why is that? You think you don't deserve it for your past behavior?" His father asks mockingly as they both know that is not true and all the others shake their head sternly.

"At least not in front of them..." Ben says pleadingly, hoping for some appeal and his father turns to the others, who shrugs and he turns back to him and says matter-of-factly:"I don't think they mind."

"Well, I will!" shouts Ben, furious that no one seems to care what he wants anymore, as his father at last closes the gap between them.

"Stop whining." His father wraps his arms tightly around him and pulls him close and a warmth spreads into Ben's chest, he hasn't felt in years.

_**KR: Did he just...?!** _

_Hug me...?!_

 

_Next up: Father's embrace..._


	12. Father's embrace and the voice of darkness

_Father hugged me...dad hugged me...daddy...finally hugged me..._

It takes a while for Ben to come back to reality and he looks speechless at the big, surprisingly soft arms wrapped tightly around him, who hold him close to his father's warm and beating chest.

Ben isn't the only one who is shocked over this development, his whole gang is. Rey gasps and covers her mouth as if she's about to cry out of joy and it's probably reliving her own imaginary family reunion, Poe just grins as if this was his plan all along, Finn is stunned, but after seeing Poe's reaction he smiles, BB-8 chirps something loudly and Chewie, who has a small tear in his eyes, wipes it away with a handkerchief and sniffles.

"A hug...?" Ben asks his father bewildered, when at last he can speak again.

_**KR: He took care of your wound, gave you candy and now he hugs you...not to mention, that scolding and corner time was something you richly deserved for acting like an idiot...seriously what were you so scared of...?** _

_My feelings..._

_**KR: True...feelings are scary...** _

* * *

 

"What did you think I was going to do? Attack you? You know, I would never harm you in any way, kid," replies his father and his voice sound as soft as the hug. "My precious son."

_He's way too trusting of me...doesn't he realize how dangerous I can be..? I even tried to kill him...why does he trust me? Why did he hug me in the first place?_

_**KR: Beats me...maybe because he's your father...you idiot...that's how they are supposed to work...according to their job description...** _

_Being a father...is not a job._

_**KR: Then what is it...?** _

_I don't know...family?_

_**KR: And what is family...beside a weakness...?** _

_So...according to you, if something isn't a "job" then it's a weakness?_

_**KR: Pretty much...** _

_That's just something Snoke lied about...I don't answer to him any longer._

_**KR: And look where it got you...** _

_I...think...I like it here..._

_**KR: I will never understand your taste in things...** _

_Same, I will never understand yours..._

_**KR: Except Darth Vader.** _

_Except him..._

_**KR: And our saber.** _

_Okay and that..._

_**KR: And our cool dark clothes and helmet.** _

_Fine...we do have something in common..._

_**KR: Otherwise I would've left already.** _

_You can leave?!_

_**KR: Of course..but as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere...** _

_I don't need you! Now go away!_

_**KR: You need to do way more than that...** _

* * *

 

"Why did you want to hug me?" Ben looks puzzled at his father, who smirks.

"Do I need a reason to hug my son...but if you must know, I'm glad...no happy...to have you back. You remember how to hug, right?" asks his father and looks suddenly worried.

_They weren't exactly lot of hugs..or well any in the First Order...and uncle only hugged me when I was really, really homesick or rather after he punished me for breaking his things...but those were only brief and awkward Jedi hugs...not real hugs..._

Suddenly Ben feels like he's ten again, where he was staring forever at the horizon, waiting for the Falcon to appear, but this time it does and his dad appears from it, picks him up into his warm embrace and brings him home again...

_**KR: Just shout daddy and hug him back, you know you want to...** _

_It's too humiliating to do it in public...I mean! No, I don't want that! I told you I'm still angry with him for not picking me up!_

_**KR: From your uncle...or the First Order?** _

_Both..._

* * *

 

Ben pushes him away with the force, shocking his father, his gang and Chewie when he knocks his father into them and they all go down like bowling pins.

_**KR: Did you just use...forcepush...? Isn't that a bit excessive?** _

_What's the point of having the force, if you can't use it?!_

_**KR: I doubt the others see it that way...especially your father...** _

"No! I don't want to...and not in front of them..." Ben frowns and crosses his arms stubbornly, as his father, Chewie and his gang scramble to their feet and look murderous at him.

_Poe will laugh at me, Rey will be jealous...Finn...BB-8...Chewie something and well I don't want to!_

_**KR: Sigh...why must you always be so difficult...?** _

_Do you want me to hug him...?_

_**KR: No...but he's not giving you much of choice and sometimes, you just have to do, what you have to do...to survive...this is only temporary anyway...** _

_Temporary?_

His father walks threateningly to him and roll up one of his sleeves. "Look son, either you hug me back or... "

"Or what?" asks Ben in a challenging and a cheeky voice, as he had just shown what he's capable of with the force, but his father, who has had enough of his attitude and isn't in the least frighten by his display of awesome powers, pulls his ear and drags him to stand in front of his gang and Chewie, which shocks Ben out of his power trip and makes him feel like a little helpless kid, instead of a powerful force user.

_O, no! Not the corner again!_

However, his father lets go of his ear and turns to him with a scowl. "I will put you over my knee, right here in front of your friends..." He points at his furious gang behind him, as if he wouldn't otherwise know who he was talking about and continues merciless with his lecture, while Ben just wants to sink through the floor and disappear into space, as he so embarrassed over being lectured like this in public.

"...which is something you deserve far more for being such a pain in the galaxy these past years!" His father starts to count on his fingers, by lifting one for each of his crimes. "...and for trying to kill me and Chewie...with poisonous gas, throwing me away with the force, your endless bad attitude about everything...and last, but not least, for being naughty by giving me a fake identity, lying to me repeatedly and trying to run away...that was just pure naughtiness, son..." His father shakes his head tiredly after having listed his crimes on two hands, as one wasn't enough for them.

_**KR: Woah, that's a long list! You have been so naughty!** _

_Stop calling me naughty! And please no more stupid, empty and childish threats...I'm not ten anymore!_

_**KR: Yet you act like one...or well more like seven...or five...** _

"I wasn't trying to kill you...just scaring you away..." replies Ben in a small voice, more fitting for a small child in big trouble than an adult in one.

_**KR: Tell yourself that...if that makes you feel better...** _

Rey's stern expression milds somewhat, Chewie thinks it over, while Poe, Finn and BB-8 seem mildly satisfied with that explanation.

His father lifts an eyebrow. "Scaring my away? Clearly you were worried about some kind of punishment for your past actions...so I wonder which option is more humiliating and more...deserving to do in front of your friends."

"Poe is not my friend...he's a...frenemy..." says Ben and glares at Poe, for being witness to his scolding as he enjoys it way too much, while the other just think it's richly deserved and don't necessarily enjoy it as much.

"Which is it?" presses his father on, though the answer should be obvious to everyone.

_**KR: He really wants that hug...** _

"Come on, kid. Stop being so stubborn. I'm not giving up on you," coax his father him, as if he is just a small child stuck up in a tree that refuses to come down. He opens up his welcoming embrace and smiles at him encouragingly. "You can do this, son."

* * *

 

_I can...do this...I understand now what this is...this is a test...a rehabilitation...a rehab from the darkside..._

_**KR: Rehab?** _

_Yeah, don't you hate all this sweet stuff? Love, cuddle, family, sugar...?_

_**KR: I don't hate it...I just think all of it is weakness...except sugar, I like candy.** _

_You do...? Well, anyways, this is important for me to move on. To forgive and move on...if he could forgive me, I should be able to forgive him, right?_

_**KR: There is nothing to forgive on our side...we did nothing wrong...well at least not I, you did a plenty of things wrong and continue on doing it!** _

_So this aggravates you? That's good, then I'm doing something right. Too bad, it's so kriffing difficult to take the first step! My feet could just as well been made out of lead!_

"Just hug him already!" yells Poe suddenly and the other chip in and cheer him on, like they are audience in a sports game and surprisingly it helps Ben move forward, bit by bit...to the light.

"Stop, being so stubborn!" yells Finn.

BB-8 chirps something loudly.

 _Stop being so naughty, little Ben!"_  growls Chewie.

"Please Ben..." pleads Rey and as he only needed to hear it from her, he at last hugs his father, who instantly hugs him back, as if otherwise he would fall and inside Ben is cheering like he had just won a marathon.

_Yeah! I did it! I crossed the line! Finally, I can get rid of the darkside!_

_**KR: Congratulations...not...you are such a fool, if you think this is enough...** _

_Well, at least it's a start! A great start!_

* * *

 

"I did it...I did it, dad..." mutters Ben in small voice, to let his father know that this had been a big breakthrough for him and his father smiles proudly, as if he had known that.

"Good boy. You're save now," says his father softly.

"Huh...? Save?" asks Ben bewildered. "Save from what?" He looks at his gang as if the answer could be found there.

_Sure Poe could be an ass, but he wasn't exactly dangerous..._

_**KR: What about Rey?** _

_Nope._

"From the darkside, the First Order..." continues his father and looks tiny bit worried, that he had to remind Ben of the danger he was in.

"Oh..." says Ben and turns back to him. "Right..."

_Then why didn't you try to save me from it?! I don't understand..._

_**KR: You aren't safe from those things yet...this "peace" is only temporary and you know it...** _

_That's your fault, now leave me alone...so I can enjoy this...in peace._

_**KR: You like this...? This...blergh...sweetness..I thought you hated sugar!** _

_I kind of like this...now leave. You're ruining the moment!_

_**KR: Cuteness and sweetness only exist so you can destroy it...there wouldn't be any fun otherwise...** _

_I'm not listening to you!_

"I have you now." His father kisses him on top of his head and hugs him tighter before Ben can escape that upgraded cuddling.

"Don't kiss me in front of Rey!" shouts Ben in desperation.

_**KR: That is your only complaint?!** _

_...the headache got a little better..._

"Why...not?" asks his father surprised and looks at Rey, who look as surprised, but smiles and says:"I don't mind."

She looks happy and bit jealous, not over the kiss, but over the family reunion, while Poe laughs at this sight into his hand, Finn looks clueless over what Ben's overreaction meant, Chewie smiles and BB-8 chirps.

"See, she doesn't mind." His father gives him another kiss on his head. "You're mine...forever."

_Forever...is he afraid Rey will steal me away from him...?!_

_**KR: I doubt he has even noticed your way too obvious feelings for her...he only sees you..his returned son, for now...** _

Ben grumbles and yet wants to melt into the hug and be one with it forever, but of course would never admit that out loud.

 

* * *

 

After a way too long a hug, only three are left aboard the Falcon, as Chewie left with Poe, Finn and BB-8 to check out the other ship, after having inspected the Falcon. Only Rey remains as an audience or witness to their father-son hugging that is still ongoing.

_At least everyone has left...except Rey, why is she still here? She needs a hug too, I want to hug her...can't we have a group hug?_

_**KR: Your dad doesn't want to share you...** _

_This is so embarrassing...how long does he wants to do this? We must have broken some galaxy record by now...he has never been a hugger..._

_**KR: Maybe he's waiting for you to take the first step...? I mean, without using the force to push him away!** _

_I wouldn't try that again...I'm not stupid..._

_**KR: I beg to differ...** _

"Umm...I'm sorry I tried to kill you...father..." begins Ben and adds. "And Chewie of course, as well."

_Can you please let go of me?!_

He looks at Rey for her approval, who nods glad, that he at last gave an honest apology.

"I know." His father lets go of him.

_Finally!_

But, when Ben plans on leaving, his father pulls his ear and pulls him straight back to him.

"More importantly, what about lying to me and trying to run away?!" he growls at him.

_He thinks that is worse?! And I already said I was sorry!_

_**KR: You didn't mean it...** _

"I'm sorry too..for lying to you..and trying to run away..." replies Ben and grimaces in pain over the ear pulling and hates that he's getting lectured in front of Rey, even though she thinks he deserve it, for the way he acted earlier.

_**KR: Like an idiot...** _

"About what? What did you lie about?" continues his father without mercy and Rey frowns at him, as if she is scolding him as well just by being there.

_Please don't make me recount...!_

"For lying about...who I really was..." says Ben.

"And...?" presses his father on and Rey nods her head firmly.

"That I was lost forever...ow, dad it hurts!"

His father at last lets go of his ear. "How could you do that to me?"

Rey frowns at him sternly.

"I'm really, really sorry...I wasn't thinking straight..." Ben pouts while rubbing his ear and Rey looks a tiny bit sympathetic.

_**KR: You never do...thinking I straight I mean...** _

_And whose fault it that?! Leave me alone!_

_**KR: Never...you need me...** _

_Do not!_

His father sighs. "Why did you do it?"

"I was...scared..." replies Ben honestly and his father looks a bit shocked over that revelation.

"Scared of what...?" He looks at Rey, as if she would know the answer, but she looks as lost as he is and shrugs.

"I...don't know..." Ben shrugs, as well.

_Everything..._

_**KR: Chicken...** _

"What's your real name?" asks his father sternly.

"Ben...Solo..." replies Ben hesitantly, as if he isn't sure that is the right answer to that question.

_**KR: No, Kylo Ren.** _

"And...? I'm your father and you are my...what...?" his father point between himself and then back at him, as if they are playing a strange game or a in speech therapy, or rather doing more of the darkside therapy.

_**KR: You are not my father...** _

_Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate here!_

_**KR: It's not like the answers are that hard...I already told you them...** _

_Well, they were wrong! You are trying to sabotage me! Stop it!_

"You are my what? Come on, son...you can do this." His father pats his shoulder encouragingly.

_**KR: This is a bit pathetic...your father is helping you...that's cheating...can't you do anything on your own anymore...? Well, not without my help...** _

"Ben...?" says Rey worried. "Are you okay?"

"Son?" asks his father and Ben feels as if he's under water and he gasps for air.

"Son...I'm your...son." he answers and pants heavily." Your son, Ben Solo..." he adds for good measure, even though it's still hard for him to utter those true words and his father smiles sadly and pats his shoulder again.

"Correct. Now swear to me, that you will never do this again." He frowns at him sternly.

"I...swear...father..." says Ben and can't believe how hard it was to answer those questions.

_This is so humiliating!_

_**KR: Your fault alone...why didn't you use my answers? They will ends this farce..and you will be free again...** _

_You mean you, you will be free again...and I would be prisoner of the darkside once more..._

_**KR: Bit dramatic, if you ask me...** _

* * *

 

"Son, if you ever lie to me again, I swear...I will wash your mouth out with a soap!" threaten his father.

_What! He never did that when I was a kid!_

_**KR: He must be upgrading for a...bigger kid...** _

"Son, do you understand me?" his father frowns at him.

_Did he read some questionable out of date child-rearing books after I was gone... as he screwed up with me...in case he would get a second chance...?_

_**KR: To raise you...?** _

"Are you listening to me?" asks his father in an impatient voice.

_No! I mean if he would get another child, you idiot!_

_**KR: Hmm, personally I think I am right.** _

"You better be listening...or I will get a bar of soap right now!" his father barks at him.

_You always think that...always...wait, what did he say?! That's pure torture! That's brutal!_

_**KR: I kind of agree with that...but maybe you should voice your objection aloud instead of just bickering with me...though I think this all just an empty threat to scare you into...future...obedience...** _

_Well it's working!_

"I recommend using fish oil instead," says Rey helpfully and comes to his "rescue". "Also it's healthier and way better for him."

_Why are they suddenly conspiring about how to punish me?!_

_**KR: Haha, Rey has totally turned against you...** _

_She hasn't turned against me! She just seem to think she's my mom or sister or something...which is horrible!_

_**KR: Haha, that's even funnier!** _

"Hmm, good suggestion. I will do that...do you understand son? No more lying, it is wrong," his father waves a finger at him sternly and Ben blushes over endlessly being treated like a child.

_But...wrong...? Lying is wrong...but then why was it okay to lie to me?!_

* * *

 

"That's not fair," says Ben and glares at his father.  
"Fair?" asks his father in disbelieving voice and looks at Rey, like she's suddenly his co-parent. "Can you believe this, kid?"

Rey shakes her head and frowns at Ben sternly. "Ben, it's always wrong to lie!"

"Oh yeah, then what about you and mom lying to me about Darth Vader?" asks Ben in a cold voice to his father.

Rey looks startled while his father's eyebrows draw together in one line.

"Excuse me...?" he growls at him, as he can never hear that name without getting angry.

_**KR: Look...there is always a time and place to talk about our cool grandad...except now! Do you want to go back to the corner...?!** _

"You heard me, what about you and mom lying to me for all these years, about him being my grandad...you never told me that he was my grandfather..." says Ben, who doesn't want to give this up and crosses his arms and regards Rey, now his ally as she looks pissed at his father, as well.

"Lying is never okay," she says sternly to his father.

"We did it to protect you nothing else..." says his father honestly and looks between Ben and Rey, as if he has to convince them both of his good intentions.

Rey's expression softens and she looks at Ben pleadingly, who soften his as well.

"Well, it wasn't a nice thing to do...lying I mean," mutters Ben in a hurt voice.

_Even though you did it to protect me...it had the opposite effect..._

_**KR: Not knowing that Darth Vader, the coolest of the coolest of them all! Was my grandfather, sucked. I would have started my collection of his things way earlier, had I known! A lot of it, is lost now!** _

"I'm sorry...if I could turn back time I would...you were never supposed to suffer like this...never..." says his father, who has got his soft voice back and he rubs Ben's cheek gently. "Can you ever forgive me...us?"

_I did not expect him to fold like that..though mom send my apology letter when the truth came out, six years ago...but it had the opposite effect on me..._

_**KR: You kind of turned...because of it...** _

_It really send me over the edge...but, that was in the past...this is now..._

Ben nods and takes his hand. "Okay...you're forgiven..." He lets go of his hand and regards Rey, who smiles as if everything is alright with the galaxy again.

_We still have the matter of abandoning me with uncle to discuss...that's way more difficult topic..._

_**KR: That can never be resolved.** _

_You don't know that. I want to least...try!_

His father smiles and ruffles his hair like he is puppy who had done something right. "Thank you, you are a good boy. You just forgot it...for...well years..."

_**KR: He's joking, right? A good boy?** _

_But, this can't be it...who are you and what have you done with my father? You were so furious with me, few minutes ago...one minute you are ready to yell my head off and the next cuddle me to death...are you mad at me or happy...which it?!_

_**KR: Probably both...** _

_Well, it's stressful...never knowing if he's going to yell at me...or cuddle..._

_**KR: I think his reaction depends most on you, to be honest...or rather your behavior...** _

_Behavior...?_

* * *

 

His father's expression suddenly turns to worry as he rubs and inspects his head. "You have bump...a lot of them...did you hit your head? I thought you wore your helmet...most of the time..."

_**KR: Yes...that's the reason we wore a helmet...not to get closer to the darkside or anything like that...far from it...** _

Rey stiffens up over his father's inspection and looks guilty as charged and turns quickly away from them, but Ben isn't angry with her from hitting him, but annoyed over his father's words.

_Come on, I'm not a kindergartener! I've been through something far worse than bumps on my head. Like having TIE-fighters trying to blow me up..._

_**KR: You could tell on Rey...get you out of trouble and her into trouble for hurting you...unlike Poe, your dad will take your side...and yell at her...and send her away...send her back home...** _

"Son...?" asks his father, as he still waiting for an explanation for his head injury, but Ben is too shocked over what Kylo Ren said, to answer him right away.

_Why in the...! I'm never doing that! She's been through enough and I deserved it anyway..._

_**KR: But she wants to go back home...her mission is finished...you're back with your family..or at least your father.** _

"Son...are you okay?" continues his father and now Rey looks worried, as if she's the reason he keeps zoning out like that, because she hit his head so hard.

_Why do you want to get rid of Rey? She must be some kind of threat to you...!_

_**KR: No, no...nothing like that. I'm only thinking of what's best for her...** _

"Is he okay?" asks Rey and tries not let her guilt show, even though she just lectured Ben about how wrong lying is, not minutes ago.

_You liar...you don't care about her, you hate her! I'm not losing her...I'm not letting her return to that hellish waiting again for her family to show up when they are never going to...I still bear the scars after that torture...that might never even heal fully...even though I got my family back...at last..._

_**KR: They will never heal, that's why I'm never leaving you...I'm the only one you can trust to stay...** _

_I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAY!_

"Ben...?" asks his father and shakes him lightly, as if that would help him return to them and it works.

"Yes...but I'm okay now..." replies Ben, even though it's lie, but it's a lie to help Rey, so it should be okay, at least she exhales relieved, that he didn't tell on her, as his father was mad enough with her biting him. How he would react to hearing about her beating him with her stick, Ben wasn't in any hurry or had any interest in ever finding out.

_I can always blame Poe, if dad keeps pestering me about it..._

_**KR: You're far from okay and never will be, unless you give me control again!** _

_Please stop...torturing me!_

His father is not buying his lie and he frowns in worry.

"You don't look so good to me. You need something to eat, drink and well, rest. Come, I will show you my new ship." He grabs his wrist, so Ben has no choice, but to follow him as he leads him out of the ship, followed soon by Rey who went into the Falcon to get something.

 

* * *

 

As soon as they get out of the Falcon, Ben is greeted with a dangerous and monstrous aura through the force, but when he lies his eyes on Rey, he sees something far more dangerous as she fixes her staff, she got back from the Falcon's cockpit, behind her back.

Ben covers his head unconsciously, with one hand, as his father still hasn't let go of his wrist and doesn't seem to have the slightest intention of doing that, and Rey looks first surprised over that gesture, but then guilty.

"It's my weapon," she says apologetic, as she didn't mean to frighten him by getting it back.

_**KR: She was only fixing it.** _

_I know...but better be on the safe side...she might still be mad at me..._

"What's wrong? A headache?" asks his father who thankfully didn't see any connection to Ben covering his head and Rey fixing her staff.

"Monsters...huge...and a lot of them...Can you feel them too, Rey?" says Ben hurriedly, while still grasping his head dramatically with one hand and Rey nods and looks on guard, around the huge ship, that swallowed the Falcon.

"They are in cages...don't worry...and don't you dare come near them." His father stops him from turning in their direction by pulling him back to him. "Stay close to me at all times...unless I tell you differently." He holds his wrist tightly and pulls him along with him.

Usually, Ben would be annoyed by being dragged along like that, but as he has enough trouble keeping a track of what's happening inside his mind, he doesn't mind getting some help to get from one place to the next.

_At least he's not holding my hand like a toddler..._

_**KR: He probably wants to put you in harness and tether him to himself so you can never wander into danger again...or leave him...** _

_Never! I would die of shame!_

_**KR: It would be funny to see...you would be his prisoner then...you kind of are his prisoner now...why is that any better than being a prisoner of the darkside? That's not humiliating, only cool...** _

_For you...you mean...not for the galaxy...and what do you mean by I'm his prisoner? I'm not in a cell...I'm not wearing any cuffs...I'm surprisingly free considering everything I've done...he hasn't even grounded me yet...not that he's going to! That would be silly..._

_**KR: There exists more prison than one... you will see...** _

"I thought you were going to show me the ship?" asks Ben, to ignore the ramblings of his dark self and Rey nods in agreement.

"Yes...but, not the monsters..." says his father sternly, as if Ben had intended to run straight to them and check them out.

_Of course I won't get to see the fun part..._

_**KR: Lame...** _

* * *

 

They walk through the spacious ship that reminds Ben, somewhat of a Star Destroyer.

_**KR: Except star destroyer are much bigger, much cleaner and much cooler...** _

_Can't argue with that..._

"Impressive ship," comments Ben to say something, after they haven't said anything for a long while and the only sounds is their footsteps, echoing loud in the great corridors.

His father gives him a strange look.

"What...did I say something wrong?" asks Ben and looks to Rey for help, as if he had forgotten how to socially normally, so small talk wasn't exactly his forte, but she looks as lost as he is, as she's not good at small talk either.

But, before Ben is certain he has gotten a failing grade in small talk, his father lets go of his wrist, just to sling one arm around his shoulder and with his other hand, rubs his knuckles on his head teasingly. "What is far more impressive, is getting you and the Falcon back at the same time, kid!" He beams broadly and Ben looks at him stunned and rubs his head after the intense rubbing.

Rey just smiles happily.

_He put me first...?_

_**KR: Well...duh...he's your father...of course he puts his...ugh...kid first.** _

_If he cares so much about me...why didn't he get me while I was still a kid...?_

_**KR. Because he's an idiot...just like you...** _

_Well, then you're an idiot as well!_

_**KR: Great comeback..not...** _

_Come back...something is coming...I can feel it..._

* * *

 

Ben grabs his head when he feel something approaching them through the force, something dangerous...

"Is your headache getting worse...? Oh, sorry. I forgot about your head..." his father looks shameful and pats his head, as if that would make the pain go away.

Rey's panic skyrockets until Ben shakes his head.

"I sense something coming..." says Ben and his father steps protectively in front of him before he can even finish the sentence.

"The First Order?" His father takes up his blaster, as if that alone would stop an army of troopers or the knights.

Rey takes up her staff with the same intention and a fierce glare, which Ben think is adorable, but, also thinks it a very wishful thinking that the staff can be used against any...real threat.

_She needs a lightsaber, it such a waste, that she doesn't have one..._

_**KR: Don't you dare give her ours!** _

"No...something else..." replies Ben and his father and Rey look relieved and put away their weapons.

"Whatever it is, I will deal with it," his father grins confidently, grabs his wrist again and drags him further into the ship, with Rey following quickly after them.

 

* * *

 

"Just you..how?" asks Ben in disbelieving voice, as he tries to keep up with his father's fast pace, but he is so tired that he really just wants to lie down somewhere.

_I've a lightsaber...and the force!_

His father shrugs. "I will talk my way out of it, like I do every time."

_Oh, like he did...for instance with Jabba the hut...?_

_**KR: If that story is even true...** _

"Are you trying to have bounty hunters on your tail again?" asks Ben annoyed.

_**KR: Maybe we are being hunted by bounty hunters...?** _

_No, we are...most likely being hunted by the Knights._

_**KR: That's much worse!** _

"That was a long time ago," says his father carelessly, though knowing his father, that could just be the case.

"And get frozen again in carbonite?" asks Ben, to remind him of the consequences of not taking such a threat seriously and his father stiffens and stops as if that had just happened.

"Carbonite...?" asks Rey stunned, who stops too, and Ben nods, as his father has trouble answering that question.

_**KR: That's a low blow...and it was grandad who did it...and he was going to put Luke into one. That would've been so funny!** _

_Funny...? We would not even exist if that had happened...and dad might still be in carbonite to this day..._

_**KR: That's a bit creepy...even for my taste!** _

 

* * *

 

"That won't happen again..this is very simple, you won't do a thing except following my orders," says his father sternly and starts walking again, pulling Ben with him and Rey follows his lead.

Ben shrugs with the same carelessness as his father. "I can just take whatever is coming out with my lightsaber and the force."

_**KR: Personally, I would let Rey handle this instead...I don't trust you for our safety!** _

_Well, no one asked you!_

His father looks far from impressed. "You will do no such thing. I'm not putting you in harm's way...ever again, kid."

"I'm not a kid!" snarls Ben at him and his father frowns at him and says: "You are my kid." They have reached the cockpit after the long walk. "I will protect you and that's a final."

Ben grumbles.

"I will protect you too," says Rey, pat his arm and smiles confidently.

"Thank you Rey... thank you... dad," Ben says, though he feels humiliated that they don't seem to realize, or are willing to admit, that the might of his powers are more than enough to protect himself and everyone on board, despite both having seen or even experienced it, first hand.

_I'm not some helpless child..._

_**KR: No one can protect you, except me...** _

_Shut up, Kylo. No one asked you to._

_**KR: I'm a volunteer...then..** _

_Shut up..._

 

_Next up: Inside the new ship, inside his head (Brother's bickering and father's care)_


	13. Brother's bickering and father's care

The first thing Ben notices at their arrival, is that the cockpit in this ship, like pretty much the whole ship, but as he wasn't allowed to check out the area with the monsters, he wasn't sure about that part, is that it is crazy spacious and comfortable, kind of like a cockpit-lounge and not cramped like in the Falcon.

Inside there are two comfy sofas, opposite each other, for extra passengers, that surprisingly have white duvets and pillows in them, which are most likely reserved for longer journeys, when his father and Chewie have to take separate shifts, but at the moment, Finn is napping in one of them in the most comfort. Even the pilot seat, which Poe is currently sitting in, with BB-8 to his side and the co-pilot seat, which seems to be Chewie's seat for some reason, looks extra comfy and are nothing like the ones in the ancient Falcon. However, despite all the comfort, Ben still thinks the Falcon is way more homey, even though currently it is falling apart and is kind of a deathtrap to fly in today.

_But why is Chewie the co-pilot? Sure, he has far more experience than the idiot Poe!_

Ben really wants to kick Poe out of the pilot seat, but he resists the great temptation, even though Rey looks very jealous that Poe is flying the huge ship, as it is his dad's call who pilots it, so he leaves it to him, hoping for a good show when his father commands Poe to get the hell out of his seat...and also because he doesn't want to get into...even more trouble...by doing it himself...

At the back wall there are some containers. Ben has no idea what is kept in them, but he guesses that it must be food and something to drink, most likely alcohol, at least he can tell through the force that is nothing alive, which is reassuring as it's bad enough that the ship is already transporting some horrible monsters.

_I hope they won't break loose..._

_**KR: At least we have our saber to defend ourselves..**_.

_And everyone else..._

_**KR: Just focus on keep yourself safe...if a monster gets loose, it's everyone for themselves! Don't play a hero, that will get us killed!** _

_I didn't know you were such a coward!_

_**KR: Coward?! I'm just trying to be the responsible one here! And didn't your dad forbid you to put you in harm's way? Just look, he hasn't even let go of your hand yet...even though you have reached the safety of the cockpit...** _

* * *

 

Ben looks down and to his wonder sees that Kylo is right, as his father still has his hand wrapped protectively around his wrist, even though they had long since arrived at their destination. His father stares eagerly at him, as if he's waiting for him to comment on the cockpit in the new ship, but since Ben had to wait for him to show up for twenty years, he gets some revenge in making him wait a little.

_He's holding my wrist...not my hand..._

_**KR: Big difference...** _

_It is...if it was the hand, I would feel like a toddler...is he never going to let me go...? I better say something...about this ship...compare it and the Falcon...but, the Falcon wins, hands down!_

"Nice ship, but it will never beat the Falcon," says Ben and he could just as well have given his father million credits, who smiles broadly and ruffles his hair affectionately with the none wrist holding hand.

_Come on, let go of me already...! And stop petting me! I'm not a dog!_

His gang, Rey, Poe and BB-8, as Finn is still napping, looks in disbelief at him for praising the Falcon like that, which in there is eyes is nothing more than a flying junk and they were lucky to even get this far, while Chewie looks happy over his words as well as his father and smiles thankfully at him.

_They are so easy to please..._

_**KR: Frightfully so...** _

"Thank you, son. I knew you would say that. Sit down and try to rest," his father finally lets go of his wrist and points at the unoccupied sofa with the duvet and the pillow, as if Ben had just come from a long journey, which is kind of true, since he had to get far away from the darkside.

Ben obeys, moves the duvet away and is surprised to feel how tired he really is, the minute he sits in the sofa. He nearly sinks into it and thinks seriously about following Finn's example and take a nap under the duvet, but as he feels guilty about taking up the whole sofa, he again, just like how he didn't kick Poe out of the pilot seat, resists temptation, as he is thinking about others...or well Rey, to be honest...

To his disappointment, Rey doesn't sit next to him, but instead chooses to stand behind Poe's seat to watch out the viewport, while occasionally glancing worried at Ben, most likely because of his head injury, she inflicted on him not too long ago.

Ben rubs his head, gives a thumbs up and smiles, just to try to alleviate her worries somewhat without his dad finding out she is the culprit behind it and he pats the seat next to him, to show her that there is no reason for her to stand. However, Rey doesn't look too convinced and bites her lower lip in worry and doesn't move to sit, but Ben still hopes she will do it eventually.

_Hopefully soon..._

_**KR: To be fair, I think the possibility of the monsters getting loose is way higher...or whatever danger is heading our way to get here first...** _

_Well, if that is true, why can't they hurry up? I just want to take care of it, so I can take a nap. It's annoying having to wait for them! Whatever it is..._

_**KR: True, waiting is torturous...** _

_Why must I wait for every damn thing?!_

 

* * *

 

Ben is so tired and bored, that he tries to escape boredom by lifting up one of his hands and spread the fingers to inspect the childish band-aid with Threepio and the ewoks, as it's not like he has anything better to do, while waiting for monsters to get loose, the approaching danger to come or for Rey sit next to him so they can chat and he can teach her about the force.

The band-aid starts hypnotizing him as he stares intently into it, at Threepio in the high seat and the ewoks, hitting drums around him and treating him like a god.

The pictures come alive to him and he can just hear Threepio's voice, shouting:" _Oh, my goodness. What is happening?!"_

_Poor Threepio, always out of the loop. He probably doesn't even know I turned. I wonder where he is...I haven't seen him in years...I wonder if Artoo is with him now, since uncle went into hiding. The last time I saw Artoo was when I was killing the pupils or was it the Seven...?_

* * *

 

Ben jolts up when a horrible memory is about to resurface and he grabs his head in panic, as if that could stop the memory from reappearing.

"Are you okay?" asks Rey worried.

_**KR: Okay...how the hell, did you manage to go from inspecting a kiddie-bandaid to killing?** _

_It was because of the picture of Threepio on it! It made me think of Artoo which made me think of uncle which made me think of the...killings..._

_**KR: And you wonder why the you fell so easily to the darkside...you're too gullible...** _

_Well, I'm not falling again..._

_**KR: It will happen...eventually...I will wait...for it...** _

_Have fun waiting forever!_

"Ben?" Rey looks even more worried than before and is about to sit next to him, but his father, who never even left his side, beats her to it, grabs his wrist and checks carefully under the band-aid and asks: "Is the wound getting any worse?" Like Ben had been checking that instead of just being hypnotized by the picture on it and being brought unwillingly back to his dark past...

"No, no, I'm fine," says Ben quickly, as he has no intention of telling his dad about the awful things he just relived...by looking at a kiddies-band-aid...

_So mortifying!_

"It looks okay. I was very careful not to touch the band-aid on our way here," says his father after having finished the inspection, as if the band-aid had been put on after some life saving surgery instead of just a small, mostly harmless, wound.

 _What...?_ Ben groans inwardly when he realizes that the reason his father didn't hold his hand was simply because of the band-aid was in the way, otherwise he wouldn't have hesitated to hold his hand like he was a toddler.

_Is he ever going to treat me seriously?!_

"What about your head?" asks his father and starts inspecting that instead, when in truth he should have started his investigation there as Ben was grabbing his head in obvious pain.

"It's fine..." says Ben not convincingly and moves away from his care.

"Let me know if it changes." His father stands up and pulls the duvet over him, though he is still sitting, before he heads to the pilot seat in the front.

_Yes! Finally, he's going to kick Poe out of it!_

Ben is happy to have a front row seat for it and to have something fun to take his mind of the killings of his past.

_**KR: Your dad won't kick him out...** _

_Of course he will! Dad will not let some stranger fly his his ship! Especially not this stupid guy!_

_**KR: You're the one who is stupid...** _

* * *

 

"No, no you can pilot for a while," say Han to Poe, when Poe immediately stands up so he can take the pilot seat again and Ben is so disappointed that his father didn't at least order him to get out of it, even though Poe did get out of it on his own, but is also baffled that his father is allowing someone else to fly his ship.

_**KR: I told you so...** _

_I bet it would be different with the Falcon..._

_**KR: Of course it would...everything is different with the Falcon...and you...** _

_Me?_

_**KR: Your dad doesn't want to share you...** _

_What am I? A cookie?_

_**KR: NO! Why are you always so damn thick!** _

_I would rather be a thin...but a big cookie._

_**KR: Why do I even bother...?** _

_You are always bothering me!_

"Sure, mister Solo?" asks Poe and looks surprised, but still takes the seat again.

_Mister Solo...? He really is buttering him up..._

_**KR: If you are not careful your father might start comparing you two...why can't you be more like Poe...?** _

_I will send Poe into space the minute it happens. That would solve the problem instantly as dad wouldn't be able to compare us anymore._

_**KR: Are you sure...you are not the evil one?** _

His father nods to Poe's question. "Positive, you seem to have the hang of it. Right, Chewie?"

Chewie looks a tiny bit annoyed to be stuck as the co-pilot, even though if he was really against it, he could just threaten to rip Poe's arms off or better, just rip them off!

_Or maybe because Poe doesn't understand him, he had no idea Chewie told him in no uncertain terms to back off! Not, that Chewie would need any words to communicate when he doesn't like something...no, he must have been too polite as Poe is a "guest."_

_**KR: You should follow his example...** _

" _He's doing alright..."_ Chewie blinks Ben, who is happy to know Chewie doesn't seem to like that stuck pilot either and smiles back at him.

_Chewie seems to want to get rid of him as well..._

"What did he say?" Poe turns to Rey for translation, which gives Ben an evil idea how to get him to leave the pilot seat, so he is far quicker than her to answer and says with a straight face: "He said your feet smell as terrible as the insides of a TaunTaun."

Chewie snorts, Rey frowns at Ben for that childish joke, his father shakes his head sternly, even though he gave him that inspiration when he told him many years ago, that inside of a TaunTaun is the worst smell he knows, as he had found out, when had to cut one open, to save his uncle from freezing to death on Hoth by putting him inside of it.

It takes a while for Poe to get that very detailed insult as he furrows his brows in confusion and tries to imagine what that must be like.

_**KR: You can't even insult a rebelscum without your father's help...** _

"Hey! You didn't say that...did you Chewie?" Poe looks between Chewie and Ben when at last he has finished his analysis of that very strange insult and managed to bring up some kind of an image of it in his head.

Chewie just laughs wholeheartedly along with Ben, while Rey and his father and even BB-8, frowns at him.

_**KR: Such a lame joke...** _

_Would you rather I've said that his feet smell as bad as Snoke's rotting corpse?_

_**KR: What! That's outrageous! How dare you?! And the supreme leader is not a corpse!** _

_Not yet..._

_**KR: Why you...son of bitch?!** _

_Hey! That's is no way to speak about my mom!_

_**KR: Now, you know how I feel!** _

_Snoke...is your mom?_

_**KR: What no! More like...a father...I really...really miss him...** _

_I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear that..._

_**KR: No you are not sorry!** _

_I am...really...I know what it's like to...miss your father..._

_**KR: He's right in front you, you know...** _

_I know...should we try to contact Snoke...so you can say how much you...miss him?_

_**KR: You would do that for me...? Really? Risk everything...for me? Wait, you're just messing with me, aren't you?!** _

_Of course I am...I'm not putting our mission or the rebellion at risk...for something so stupid!_

_**KR: You are such a jerk!** _

"Be nice kids," rebukes his father him, as if he's breaking up a brother's fight and the stern voice jolts Ben straight back to the reality.

* * *

 

At first Ben is shocked over the fact that his father seems to have heard the darkside arguing inside his head, until it dawns on him, that he must be referring to him and Chewie, for the joke at Poe's expense, though the scolding is mostly directed at him, since his father glares at him to behave so Ben puts up his most innocent look and says: "What, he said that..."

Poe regards Chewie with a hurt look until Rey corrects the translation before his father gets a chance to it or scold Ben some more.

"He didn't say that, he said you're doing alright." Rey shakes her head sternly, even though Ben know that she wants to be the pilot instead and is really hoping to be asked to do it instead of Poe, or at least that they can take turns and Ben was really trying to help her, by insulting Poe so much that he would storm away to pout.

_**KR: Sounds more like something you would do...the pilot...eh rebelscum is far more mature than you...** _

_Damn you're right...plan failed..._

_**KR: Plan? What plan? Why don't you just tell your father that Rey wants to pilot as well?** _

_I can't...too shy...how would I explain it...? Without giving away my feelings for her?_

_**KR: You could say you are friends...** _

_I don't want to be friendzoned either!_

_**KR: Sigh...she must have melted your brain a long time ago...** _

"Oh...hey! I'm the best pilot in the resistance...I can't just be doing alright...right?" asks Poe, when he realizes that what Chewie really said was also an insult and looks suddenly very unsure of his talent to fly the ship.

_Hey, this might work! Any minute he will storm away and gives his position to Rey!_

_**KR: Or just back to your, you know, dad...** _

BB-8 chirps something to be a part of the conversation and Finn snores loudly in the back.

"Which is it, Chewie?" asks his father a bit forcefully and Chewie shrugs. " _He is doing more than fine..."_

"He said you're doing more than fine," translates Rey in a hurry before Ben can crack another joke, as he had another one on his lips, ready to go.

"Oh...thanks Chewie." Poe smiles at Chewie for the praise, who just shrugs.

_Damn, now Poe will let the praise get to his head and never leave the pilot seat for Rey!_

_**KR: That was never going to happen anyway...** _

Poe scowls at Ben and mouths at him:" _Don't you dare translate for me anymore."_

" _I wouldn't even though you would beg me for it on your knees..."_  mouths Ben back at him.

BB-8 chirps something annoyed at him, while his father looks deep in thought, as he continues to evaluate Poe's performance in his head and Rey frowns at Ben for being so rude.

_**KR: Your plan to impress Rey sure failed...** _

_Well, then I will just make up a new plan!_

_**KR: Just give up already...** _

_No, you give up!_

"Okay, you can pilot for a while. I need to take care of my kid first." Han sits down next to puzzled Ben.

_Take...care of...me?_

_**KR: Didn't he already...or does he mean...punish you...? For being mean to Poe?** _

_I hope not! Not for being mean to stupid Poe, of all things!_

_**KR: Then I hope he will punish you for being so mean to me!** _

_Like...that's ever going to happen..._

* * *

 

Before Ben know what is happening, his father, with something close to a lightspeed, takes of his boots, fluff the pillow, lifts up the duvet and orders him under it, tucks him in and when he gone under it, kisses him on his forehead and ruffles his hair. "Get some sleep, kid." He smiles at him before going to look for something in one of the crates in the back.

Ben looks stunned after him, as everything happened so fast.

_Care...from his point of view...I could just as well be back in a cradle!_

_**KR: He sure treats you like that...** _

_I sure hope he's not looking for a pacifier!_

Ben is way too exhausted to object to all that babish treatment verbally, however, if his father shows up with a pacifier he will cut it in half with his lightsaber. That should say a lot more than words and teach his father to stop treating him like a kriffing child!

_**KR: Don't, he would confiscate your saber and put you back in a timeout or...maybe this is a punishment?** _

_What? How can this be a punishment?!_

_**KR: He send you to bed early for being mean to Poe, as he is a guest...** _

_This isn't a bed! And I planned on taking a nap anyway and I am a guest as well..._

_**KR: Not in the eyes of your father, you are his property...** _

_You always phrase things in such a weird way. Are you Snoke's property?_

_**KR. Of course I am! And you stole me from him!** _

_You stole me away from my family for years..._

_**KR: No! I asked you nicely, you said yes.** _

_Nicely?_

_**KR: Which is far different from how you took over without even asking me!** _

_Would you have said yes?_

_**KR: NO! Of course not.** _

_That's why I didn't ask. But, how come father didn't just let me sleep in the crew chambers? Why here...where everyone can see me...?_

* * *

 

Poe smirks when looking at where Ben is tucked in like a baby, but returns looking out the viewport when Ben sends him a death glare, BB-8 chirps something, Finn snores even louder in the other sofa, Chewie continues co-piloting the ship, but Ben can see where a small grin appears on his face and his father is still looking for something in the containers while Rey smiles sadly as she is probably remembering her own life, without a family to take care of her,

_**KR: Your father is probably still worried about your head injury and wants to watch over you...to make sure you're okay...** _

_When, you put it like that...that's...kind of...nice of him..._

_**KR: Kind of...?** _

_Okay...really, really nice of him...but still unnecessary...I've been through worse...way worse..._

_**KR: He doesn't know that...** _

_And I won't...ever tell him...but, poor Rey, we can switch for a while, if she wants to...except of course dad is never allowed to kiss her! I'm the only one who gets to do that, but she should be a part of my family. I know mom always wanted a daughter...too..._

_**KR: You want to adopt her...?!** _

_No, you fool! I mean as a daughter in law..._

_**KR: Aren't you getting a way, way ahead of yourself...? You aren't even dating...** _

_Maybe, I can get her to lie down her next to me...to um...cuddle..._

_**KR: Right...as your dad would allow that...or any of the guys...even BB-8. Or Rey herself!** _

_You're no fun as ever..well...I'm too lazy to even think any more..I thinking of taking a...short...nap..._

Ben closes his eyes.

_**KR: Well, then I will just take over again...** _

Ben's eyes snap wide open.

_What! I thought you said...that you wouldn't take over then...you promised!_

_**KR: I wonder if, I am lying now or...then...** _

_You suck so much!_

_**KR: Same to you...only way to find out...is falling asleep...** _

_Well, I'm not risking it!_

_**KR: Suit yourself...but, really you should be on your guard anyway. Have you forgotten all about the approaching danger? And the monsters...?** _

_Your'e right...for once! I can't sleep...not yet...we are still in danger...from something..._

* * *

 

Ben sits up and that doesn't go unnoticed with his overprotective father.

"What's wrong? Can't you sleep? Oh, of course he can't sleep on a empty stomach..." mutters his father as he dives back to his search, in the container.

_Did he just talk about me in third person? I can talk...I'm not an infant! But, the hunger is not an issue...but the darkside. Not to mention, it's not really relaxing knowing there is some threat on it's way, but that threat is overshadowed with the fact that we are transporting monster, that the force deems way more dangerous than whatever is heading our way...I think I have even met those monsters before...somewhere..._

_**KR: I recognize their aura...from my nightmares...** _

_That's not promising..._

"Here, eat this." His father throws him a food bar. "Until we get something better." He says apologetically and when Ben catches it with ease, he adds. "Nice catch." his father smiles, as if they are just playing catch in the backyard.

_I've force reflexes of course can I catch things easily!_

_**KR: Don't be impolite...** _

"Thanks...for the food I mean..." Ben lifts up the food-bar, opens it and grimaces as he looks at the blue inside with great skepticism, since it doesn't look very appetizing.

_Is that the only thing my father and Chewie have been eating? I hope not, mom would not approve...also Chewie needs his meat!_

"Please, let me know, if your head gets any worse," says his father worried. "I have some painkillers here, I just don't remember where I left them..." His father digs into the container, comes up again and scratches his head in a worry.

_Typical dad...not remembering and losing something so important...like me..._

_**KR: Maybe you are looking at this all wrong, maybe your dad just forgot where he left you...for twenty years...** _

_That's awful! Everything is better than that..._

_**KR: Sure...? Maybe the truth will be so painful...that would be better if you never knew it...** _

_You are probably right...but I still deserve the truth! Why did he..abandon me...for so long? Why did he break his...promise to me?_

Ben gazes at his father's back where he is looking like mad for painkillers for him.

_But, I'm not going to ask him now...we have to get through this trip first...safely...then everything can be brought to the light..._

_**KR: Or the dark again...** _

_I didn't ask for your opinion!_

_**KR: You never do...** _

_And never will..._

 

_Next up: An awkward family dinner..._


	14. A awkward family dinner

 

Ben has his feet firmly planted on the floor. He has long since given up on taking a nap under the comfortable duvet, which lies instead disregarded in the corner of the sofa, despite the fact that he is beyond exhausted. He can't sleep, not when there is an unknown danger coming...very slowly their way or because of the danger of the unknown monsters getting loose, not to mention his constant arguing with Kylo, all of which is hanging over his head and giving him a tremendous headache. On top of it all, he is still feeling the effects of the head injury Rey inflicted on him awhile ago, but the only bright side is she looks so worried about him, where she stands behind the pilot seat, which Poe occupies since he got to fly the freighter along with Chewie, while his father searches for some painkillers for him in the nearby containers.

Too bad, Rey's worry also stems from a great guilt, as she is one of the reasons he is such a bad shape in the first place, though Ben don't blame her at all for lashing out at him. But, she has to be careful of her emotions, if she isn't going to turn to the darkside as he did.

_I haven't taught her anything yet...but am I really the best one to teach her?_

_**KR: Don't tell me you plan on leaving her training to Luke?** _

_No, of course not! I turned because of him...and well mom's apology letter, no, I am her only hope...but, maybe it's for the best to wait with her training until after we have delivered the map to the resistance base. So much to do..._

_**KR: I can take care of her training...then you wouldn't have to worry about that...** _

_Nice try...leave her alone..._

Ben looks envious at where Finn can sleep so peacefully in the other sofa...with not a care in the world. Which a bit surprising, since Finn always seems to be on edge when he is awake.  _Maybe his only escape from his worries is to sleep them away...?_

_**KR: The former soldier is turning into a sloth...no discipline anymore...** _

_It's just his way to enjoy his freedom...I wish I could enjoy it too..._

* * *

 

"Is your head really okay?" asks his father suddenly and Ben just nods to his father's question, even though his head is never okay with his constant bickering with Kylo.

"At least try to eat something, " says his father and indicates the blue food bar, Ben is still holding and hasn't dared to touch yet.

As Ben can't really choose anything else, he takes the leap and bites into the unappetizing bar and become wildly surprised by its good taste.

"Good?" asks his father and grins when he sees how Ben's face lightens up.

Ben nods and takes a another bite and can feel some of his energy come back.

_What is this thing...?_

_**KR: If I had to guess..blue milk?** _

_Well, it's kriffing delicious...who would have guessed?!_

_**KR: Never judge a book by its cover...** _

"I'm glad to hear that...you are all welcome to have some. You must be starving." His father, who noticed the hungry look of his gang, especially Rey, when Ben bit into the bar and moves the crate over the floor, closer to them all.

Rey takes the lead in making sure everyone is well-fed, as she dives into the container and emerges with her arms full.

She nods her thanks to his father. "Thank you sir." Before she heads off to delivering food to everyone. She delivers one bar to Poe in the pilot seat, one to Chewie, even one to his father, though he can easily get one himself, wakes Finn up gently and gives him one, before picking out one for herself, though she must be starving.

"Have another one, kid." His father suddenly sits beside him and replaces the old bar with a new one in his hand. "You can all have as many as you like." He takes the comforter from the corner of the sofa and wraps it around his shoulders, reminding him more and more of a fussing granny then his old grumpy dad. "Make sure, you don't get cold."

His gang nods their thanks for the food.

_Really, where would we be if my dad hadn't showed up?_

_**KR: You might have crashed in the desert...and resorted to cannibalism...after weeks of starvation...** _

_I doubt that...it was just a figure of speech..._

_**KR: I don't think so, you really are helpless...without him or more importantly me!** _

_At least I'm not stuck as some stupid voice in someone's head..._

_**KR: Hey! That was a low blow! That was really, really mean!** _

_I learned from the master..._

_**KR: Wait, are you talking about me...? You are calling me a master...? I'm finally your master!** _

_So easy to please..._

* * *

 

Rey even makes sure BB-8 isn't left out of the mealtime, by pointing out to him an unused electric socket in one of the walls of the cockpit, which he plugs in and chirp-moans happily when he begins to charge himself, before she gets her own meal at last.

_**KR: She is too nice...not good for the darkside!** _

_Good, I don't want her to go there!_

Rey takes a seat next to groggy Finn who sits up and looks sleepily at the food in his hand. Though he wakes up with a jolt when he sees that Rey is suddenly sitting next to him.

_No, don't go over to him!_

_**KR: Bet you want her to go to the darkside instead!** _

_No, I just want her to be with me!_

Rey devours her bar in one bite and burps loudly, startling everyone, even BB-8 with her table manners.

"Sorry...hungry..." She covers her mouth and smiles coyly when she sees the stare of everyone. Poe just laughs, Finn regards her like he is seeing her in new light, BB-8 chirps worried while Chewie goes back to co-piloting.

"If you are hungry, you can have some more," says his father and Rey nods her thanks and gets and devours another bar and another.

_**KR: Not very feminine...** _

_Hey! I don't care about that and...she is used to starving! I have to buy her some fancy dinner sometime..._

_**KR: And teach her how to eat it...** _

_No, she can eat it however she likes...as long as she eats...that's the only thing that matters..._

_**KR: I thought you were part royalty...** _

_Mom was always trying to teach me those stuffy and boring table manners...and how to act in gatherings as such. Especially in the senate...though she gave up on bringing me there, after I blew up a homemade detonator..._

_**KR: Woah...wait...you were a terrorist...as a child?!** _

_Of course not, it was just an innocent prank_ _._ _**.** _ _._ _the "bomb" just shot all over the senate, paper that was covered in slime and said the senate kriffing sucks and the empire rules...!_

_**KR: The Empire? Did you know about the First Order at that time?** _

_No...I was just trying to send a message I didn't want to be there..._

_**KR: I get your mom wasn't too happy...** _

_I can still hear her yelling at me...and dad wasn't too impressed either when he heard what I had done...though he thought it was very funny...deep down...and way out of mom's earshot...but he didn't like the Empire part...that one got me into a lot of trouble!_

_**KR: And now you have done something far worse...** _

_You have...I didn't do anything...darkside...or First Order stuff..._

_**KR: I doubt your mom...or dad sees it that way...** _

_True...I'm still waiting for the real lecture to start...this can't be it...maybe he is waiting for a chance to lecture me in private!_

_**KR: I wouldn't say that he is too "shy" to yell at you in public...as he has already done that...repeatedly...** _

_Then why is he...also so kriffing nice...to me...in between?_

Ben takes a look at his father, who to his surprise still hadn't gone back to piloting the ship, but instead stays by his side and makes sure he eats every bite.

_**KR: He must be feeling guilty...for abandon you all these years...** _

_Well, he should feel guilty...he still hasn't explained anything...not that any explanation will be good enough...for what he did..._

Ben glanches at his father at his side, who watches Poe's every move with a critical eye, as if he was a flying instructor. But, as his father can't see any fault in what he is doing, Han nods and smiles content, which sparks jealousy in Ben, as he is certain that his father would be constantly criticizing his flying, if he were the pilot.

_Nothing I did was ever good enough..._

_**KR: And still isn't...and never will be!** _

* * *

 

Ben can feel a pain in his chest and grabs it dramatically.

"What's wrong?" asks his father and turns to him.

"Nothing..." lies Ben. "Just tired."

"You should lie down after dinner," says his father with no room for argument.

Ben just nods.

_But I can't ask him any of these painful questions now... we better just try to survive this meal... and trip..._

* * *

 

They all eat in silence and most of them happily. But, despite the quiet inside the cockpit, there is never truly a silence in Ben's head, as if Kylo isn't speaking to him, the force is warning him about something or he has a bad headache or everything at once, as is often the case.

_Something is coming, I can feel it...but I can't figure out what it is...the monsters aura is in the way, but since they are deemed way, way more dangerous than whatever is coming, I should be able to relax..as long as the monsters don't get loose..._

_**KR: Don't you go open for them...just to speed things up!** _

_I won't! Honestly, I don't mind some peace and quiet... sometimes... and the ship that was on its way must have broken down or something...though I can still feel it getting closer. Is it trying to sneak up on us? So we don't pick it up on our scanners? Well, they didn't expect a force user to be on a board! We should be able to surprise them. Maybe we should turn the ship around and sneak up on them!_

_**KR: I doubt you father wants to take that kind of a risk. It could be the First Order and we could be going straight into a trap! Your force sensitivity could be broken for all we know...or messed up because of the monsters aura overtaking it. Not that I would mind the First Order coming and ending this once and for all!** _

_We won't know unless we take a risk. My father was always a risk taker...especially if there was credits involved...it wouldn't hurt to tell him of my plan, would it? Without of course mentioning that this might be First Order trap..._

* * *

 

"We are not turning around the ship," says his father sternly, as if he had seen right into Ben's mind who jolts up and stares flummoxed at his father, who continues: "It could be a trap for all we know. No, we will wait for them to come to us. Understood?" He frowns at him, as if Ben had planned on turning the ship himself.

"I was not going to ask that..." mutters Ben defeated, even though he has guilt written all over his face.

"You are always plotting something, when you are quiet," says his father matter of factly. "Make sure you eat enough." He puts another food bar in his hand and Ben takes a bite, but very politely or his father might scold him for it, though he wants to devour it like Rey did as he is so hungry.

"What is coming?" asks Poe and Finn, BB-8 and Chewie look alarmed.

"We don't know...but, Ben felt something," replies Rey.

Poe scoffs. "Very Helpful. Mister Solo..?" He turns to his father.

_Shut up, "perfect" stupid Poe...let me eat and think in peace..!_

_**KR: I bet if Poe had told him your plan, your dad would've accepted it. He values him more...he probably wants him to be his son instead...** _

_That's not true!_

_**KR: Then why is he allowing him to fly HIS SHIP instead of you? HIS SON?** _

_I...don't know..._

"Call me, Han," replies his father and Ben stares betrayed at his father that stupid Poe gets to be on first name basis with him, but his father doesn't notice his look as he's too busy eating.

"Okay, Han...I curious to know how you lost the Falcon?" asks Poe and gets himself ready for a long interesting story, while Ben wants to chop him down with his lightsaber for being so chummy with his father.

"It got stolen," replies his father in his no nonsense voice and continues eating.

 _He shot him down..._ Ben heart soars.  _Hehe, my dad never wants to talk much...to strangers! Take that stupid Poe!_

_**KR: Take that stupid Poe!** _

"I know that...I mean..." says Poe and looks hurt over having been shot down like that by his hero and looks to help to Chewie, who has no interest either in retelling that story.

His father gives Ben a sidelong accusatory glance who stiffens in fright. "Did you steal it?"

His gang and Chewie stare at him, as if he did indeed do that horrible deed.

_Me...? Did I...? NO!_

"I didn't steal it!" yells Ben as if he had been dragged unwillingly and innocent in front of a court.

His father burst out laughing, hugs him and ruffles his hair. "I'm just messing with you. I know, you would never do that again." He lets go of him and pushes him playfully around.

"Well, don't startle me like that!" shouts Ben at him and it takes a while for his heartbeat to go back to normal.

_**KR: You don't really need much...** _

"Again?" asks Poe in disbelief and the rest of his gang share the same look.

Chewie shakes his head sternly to confirm that story and Ben gulps, when he remembers how angry Chewie was when they caught him.

"Or well tried to, when he was a child...ten I think. Not that you could even get the ship to lift from the ground...clearly not a natural flyer like me or your grandfather..." His father elbows him teasingly as that past "crime" didn't bring down his humor, unlike Ben as that memory, but especially those words stung him deeply.

_That was more disappointing than the fact that I tried to take off with his ship. I always disappoint him, no matter what..._

_**KR: I told you that Poe was a better son for him...** _

His father clears his throat awkwardly, when he sees the bad mood, Ben is getting in, which is a clear as day to everyone, judging from his crossed arms, pouty lips and angry frown. "Not, that you don't have many other talents...especially to get yourself into trouble...and you most likely know how to fly now...but, I'm glad you didn't manage to fly at that time...I might have lost you back then...and the Falcon..forever. But more importantly, you." He strokes his hair softly.

"If I am so important then why didn't you bring me home ages ago?!" snaps Ben at him and bats his hand away, still angry that he was making fun of him, but even angrier over the fact that he abandoned him.

_**KR: I thought you weren't going to ask him now...** _

_He started it!_

"From the First Order? You meant what you said as Ken Rolo? You were just waiting for me to rescue you...?" asks his father, baffled and everyone of his gang and Chewie looks as stunned as him.

_Yes..._

_**KR: No, I didn't want any rescue...** _

"No...to pick me up from uncle Luke, you promised me..." Ben pouts and score some sympathy-abandoned points at last from Rey and even some from his gang and Chewie.

"I'm sorry I broke that promise...it wasn't my fault..." His father hangs his head.

"That's not what you said earlier!" barks Ben at him.

_Give me the whole story now! What happened?!_

* * *

 

"It's complicated...did you pilot the Falcon?" asks his father and dodges the question by asking another.

"No...I was a co-pilot," replies Ben, though he is far from happy with the changing of the topic.

_Not his fault? Whose then...mom's? That's can't be...Luke's...?_

"Co-pilot...?" asks his father and exchanges a surprised look with Chewie in the co-pilot seat, before looking over at his gang. "Then who was...?"

"I was the pilot," replies Rey.

"You?" asks his father in disbelief and looks between Poe, who is still in the pilot seat and her.

_Hey, why is that such a surprise? Women can pilot too..._

"I was...also the pilot...for some time," adds Poe, as if Rey wouldn't have been perfectly able to handle it herself.

"We were both the pilots," says Rey firmly. "But, I was the main pilot."

"Two pilots," says his father and shakes his head as if it's the most ridicules thing he had ever heard. "For such a small ship..."

Chewie growls in agreement.

"And two co-pilots," adds Rey, as if that would make it better and points at Finn beside her, who jumps up as if she had just asked him to co-pilot again.

His father shakes his head. "What an odd crew. Ben, why weren't you the pilot?" He looks at him sternly as if he didn't do his homework and had instead copied it from a friend.

"We asked him..." begins Rey and Poe, Finn and BB-8 nod in agreement.

"I didn't want to..." mutters Ben and hopes that will be enough, but his father presses on:"Why?"

Ben shrugs. "Memories...did you want me to pilot it?"

His father nods. "Of course."

_I thought he didn't trust me for it._

"You can fly now right?" asks his father and Ben shrugs as if it is no big deal: "Yeah, had my own ship..."

_**KR: NO, it was I who had a ship...no two ships! Command ship and a shuttle!** _

_You didn't own them, the First Order did...and it owned you...us...like you said, you were Snoke's property..._

_**KR: Is his property...I was just temporarily stolen away by you...** _

_Sounds like a slave..._

_**KR: Well gramps was a slave as well! At first...but, also kind of the Emperor's slave...** _

_And he was and you are slave of the darkside..._

_**KR: I can't deny that...** _

"What happened to your ship?" asks his father sternly, as if he's about to lecture him about how to take proper care his ship and Chewie, Rey and BB-8 gives him the same look.

"It erm...broke down..." Ben avoids his father's stern gaze, as he would never in million light years admit that he broke it himself...or well Kylo with his temper tantrum.

_Please stop interrogating me!_

_**KR: It was not a tantrum!** _

Poe and Finn, who are the only ones who knows the truth shake their heads over his vague story.

"I will give you, your own ship...for your birthday," says his father and Ben stares speechless at him, since he was expecting a lecture not a gift.

_**KR: A bribe to keep you from the darkside...and the First Order?** _

_Well.. he does owe me twenty years of gifts..._

_**KR: Ask for a TIE-fighter! I dare you!** _

"Can I get a TIE-fighter?" asks Ben innocently, startling his gang and Chewie with his audacity.

_**KR: You...dared...** _

_I'm braver than you think. Braver than you!_

_**KR: Nah...** _

His father stares at him, like he's not sure whether he is kidding or not and finally says slowly, as if he were explaining something to a child: "No...it's a warship."

_Not enemy?_

"But, we are at war," points Ben out and Chewie, Poe, Finn, Rey and even BB-8 nod in agreement with him.

_I have just switched side..._

_**KR: That was a big mistake...that will be fixed soon.** _

_Not if I can help it!_

"Well, I'm taking you out of it," says his father firmly and adds, before Ben can even object to that ludicrous suggestion. "And until you get your own...transport ship, not and never a warship. You can fly this ship...or the Falcon. If you like."

"Really...?" asks Ben shocked.

_He taking me out of the war...but more importantly, he's allowing me to fly his ships?!_

_**KR: He said you would be allowed to fly the Falcon at thirty...then it should be safe...** _

His father nods. "The Falcon is particularly yours as well..."

Poe looks so jealous over that fact and that makes Ben even happier.

_I own the Falcon...partly...since when?!_

_**KR: Since he's doing everything to keep him at his side...** _

_It's kind of working..._

_**KR: And he's trying to make up for having abandon you...** _

_Why did you have to remind me of that...?!_

_**KR: Someone has to remind you to stay angry all the time...** _

_Jerk..._

* * *

 

"I hate the fact I wasn't the one to teach you flying...I was going to teach you when you became sixteen...I was going to teach you so many things..." His father sighs over the lost times. "Or maybe you don't know everything..." He looks up deep in thought, as if he is mentally checking a checklist of important life-skills in his head.

"Sixteen? You said thirty to me...when I was ten..." Ben gets a hurtful look when remember that painful memory. "You said that I wouldn't get to fly until then. So unfair!" He whines over the injustice, just like when he was ten years old and doesn't care for a moment that Rey or the others sees him acting so childish or they fact that they gawk at him. He only cares about voicing his objections to his father...again...even though he's plans on giving him a ship for his birthday, since of that could just be an empty promise after all.

_Of course I broke that stupid no-flying rule.._

_**KR: Along with all the other rules...** _

_I hope I don't into trouble for breaking the no-flying rule!_

His father exchanges surprised glances with Chewie and then he lifts an eyebrow. "Thirty? I was only kidding son."

Poe and Finn snorts over the melodramatic Ben had shown, BB-8 chirps-laughs and Rey shakes her head, while Ben's face heats up and he desperately wants to sink through the floor.

_Kidding...?! Well, to a boy with a low enough self esteem, it was not the wisest thing to say!_

_**KR: I agree...that was a bit mean...** _

"I hope you had a good flying instructor. If not, I will teach you properly," his father frowns at first sternly at him and then it gets replaced with a happy smirk, as he wants to teach him after all.

_**KR: He will breathe down your neck the whole time...don't do that, and this is forbidden...this is too dangerous! That is not how you use lightspeed!** _

_I don't want him to be a backseat pilot! And like he's the one to lecture me about safe flying...!_

"Is it true that the Falcon made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs? asks Rey, before Ben can remind his father himself, of some of his flying escapades.

"Twelve!" barks Ben at her as he still in foul mood after having looked like a fool in front of everyone, before either his father or Chewie gets a chance to correct that old and constant misunderstanding, surprising them and his gang, but mostly Rey with his harsh tone.

"You've told me the story so many times...sorry..." Ben hangs his head in shame for treating Rey like that who glares at him and crosses her arms.

_I didn't mean to snap at her! I did it on autopilot!_

_**KR: You do everything lately on autopilot...let me take the wheel instead...** _

His father smirks and pats his head as reward for correcting that story. "Nothing to be sorry about. It is true. It made the Kessel Run in twelve, not fourteen parsecs." He smiles at Rey, but when he sees the frown on her, he turns to Ben and scolds him. "You shouldn't be rude to the ladies...or anyone. You know better."

Chewie growls at him, BB-8 chirps angrily while Finn looks bored, but Poe is awed by his hero's story and looks eager to know more.

"I'm so sorry..." Ben looks dejected and dramatically hides his head in his arms.

_Will she ever forgive me?!_

_**KR: For this...? If not, then your relationship is doomed from the start...unless you are in kindergarten...!** _

"Wow, twelve parsecs..." says Poe and opens his mouth to ask more questions, but Ben beats him to it, by lifting his head from his arms and asks:"Can Rey fly too? As he desperately tries to make up for his "accidental" rudeness.

"You know I can fly!" snaps Rey at him, as she misunderstood his question completely and was still pissed at him and even more so for not just asking her directly.

"No I mean...can she be the pilot as well...for the Falcon and this ship?" asks Ben his father, who stares suspiciously at him over that strange request. "Why?"

Rey looks puzzled as well, Poe and Chewie smirk as they know what his game is, while Finn and BB-8 looks lost as usual.

"She's the only woman aboard...I'm all for women's right...equality...you see...and she is a very good pilot, she has the force so she can practically fly with her eyes closed!" says Ben hurriedly before he passes out from her staring so intently at him.

"But I would never do that...I never did that..." says Rey flustered and to Ben's surprise he can tell that she is lying through the force and the obvious telltale signs, as she curls a hair lock around her finger and laughs nervously.

_**KR: For someone who lectured you about lying, she sure lies a lot...** _

_I don't care about that...but that she has flown with her eyes closed...she has trusted in the force after all? Even though when I told her to do it when we were evading the TIE fighters, she didn't want to...or did she when I had my eyes shut? Or when I was "frozen"?_

_**KR: And she did it flawlessly without any training...really this girl is a walking cheatmode...** _

_A beautiful and clever walking...cheatmode...I'm not calling her a cheatmode!_

_**KR: No one forced you to...that's just my nickname for her...** _

_Well, you are not allowed to use it!_

_**KR: You are so mean...then I will just call her the scavenger...** _

_She has a name, you jerk!_

_**KR: My name is not you jerk! And what so wrong with calling her a scavenger...it's her job occupation...** _

_Then I will start to call you a dark jedi instead of Kylo Ren, how about that? Then you will now how it feels..._

_**KR: I don't mind...it's not like you use my name that often...only call me jerk...** _

_Sorry about that, I will remedy that...Kylo..._

_**KR: Fine, since you asked so nicely, I will call her Rey.** _

_Thank you._

_**KR: My...pleasure...** _

 

_Next up: Pictureshow!_


	15. A family picture show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter in this part...

His father looks between Ben and Rey, as if he's trying to see any connection between them, that might explain his weird request, but when he fails to find none, he nods and says: "Sure, she can fly too...but not with your eyes closed. The same applies to you Ben. I don't care if your uncle did it to take out the first Death Star, it's way, way to risky. Do you hear me kids? Never fly...or drive with your eyes closed, don't even walk like that. Always pay attention on the road. Always," lectures his father them as if they were children instead of adults.

"Yes, sir," replies Rey, eager to please, while Ben mentally rolls his eyes.

"Yes, father..."

_Of course I will just continue using the force like that, when he's not looking..._

_**KR: Of course...** _

"Ben, what did I say?" His father scowls at him, as he had seen right through him...once again.

Chewie growls at him to behave, while Poe who, if Ben had to venture a guess, had mostly let the ship fly on autopilot frowns at him sternly for not paying attention.

_Hypocrite..._

"Always pay attention to the road, space, whatever when driving, flying or walking. Always, no exceptions," states Ben in a robot-like voice.

_**KR: Always stay on the road to darkness...** _

_That is not what he meant!_

His father nods, pleased with his answer. "Good, what were we talking about again?"

Poe who had shown tremendous patience in not having his first question answered and had waited patiently from the derailed conversation to get back on track, says: "Mister Solo...I mean Han...I know the Falcon got stolen...I mean..."

_I have never seen Poe stutter! And he's so nervous!_

_**KR: The rebelscum is acting like a schoolgirl in love...** _

_Kind of gross! You are talking about him and my father, you know!_

_**KR: I know...I like to gross you out...it's so easy to do...** _

_Evil jerk..._

_**KR: Besides, you know he only has eyes for Finn...** _

_He does...? For real?_

_**KR: Or maybe he has eyes for you...since he always teasing you...you know what they say the boy teases the girl...or boy they likes...** _

_Ew, gross! That idea that Poe likes me! I think what you said is fairly accurate...but me and Poe! Ugh! Makes me sick!_

_**KR: All too easy...** _

_Wait, you are always teasing me...does that mean, you like me?_

_**KR: What! That's absurd!** _

_Haha...in your face!_

 

* * *

 

"You said you found it...who had it? Ducain?" His father turns from the fanboy, Poe to the fangirl, Rey, drawing Ben back to the current events at hand.

"I stole it from Unklar Plutt, who stole it from the Irving boys, who stole it from Ducain, who stole it from..." Rey allows Han to finish that statement, which he does: "Me, well I stole it back for good..."

His voices trails off and looks at Ben at his side, as if he's looking for inspiration, but before Ben can give him a single idea, he wraps him tightly in the duvet and hugs him in the same manner as if he had caught him in a net. "Just like how I stole my son back from the First Order!" His father grins victoriously and messes up his hair, to Ben's great annoyance, but for the enjoyment of the others.

"You didn't do anything..." mutters Ben vexed, that he is taking the credit for his hard work and treating him like small child.

His father's frowns at him, even though he's speaking the truth, lets go of him, but then he grins wolfishly as if he's got some evil idea.

_What's up with that creepy smile...?_

_**KR: Even I am little afraid...** _

"Would you like to see some pictures of him?" asks his father his gang.

He drags the container to the sofa and puts the lid on the container, before taking his wallet from his pocket.

"Pictures?" Ben looks at him perplexed. Whatever diabolical plan he thought his father was hatching, this was not one of those.

_Not holos? Wait, what pictures...? What is he blabbering about?_

_**KR: As he has not seen you in twenty years...these must be pictures from your earlier years...** _

"I would love to," replies Rey and smiles, who seems to have forgiven Ben at last for snapping at her and Chewie looks as excited as if the holidays had come early.

"Sure." Poe shrugs, but also wears an identical creepy smile to that of his father, as if this was all a plan they had worked on together in secret, which unnerves Ben greatly, though of course that can't be true, as they had never met before until today.

_What's going on?_

Only Finn and BB-8 look as left out and as lost as Ben.

_Kylo, what did you by mean earlier...years...?_

"What no!" shouts Ben in horror when he realizes, too late, his father's intention who takes out of his wallet, an old photo of him and puts it on the lid of the container, for everyone to see.

"Aw, how cute!" exclaims Rey and whips her head between the picture and Ben as if she is trying to tell the difference, which Ben feels is even more mortifying.

"This was one of the last pictures before you...went...away to train. Do you remember that day?"

His father points at the picture which shows Ben as a child standing next to swing on the playground, wearing black clothes and holding a big black helmet. He looks over his shoulder with an annoyed expression and if he had been interrupted in mid play.

_But, this is strange, I don't remember wearing these clothes..._

_**KR: You were always in some make believe games...** _

_But they look strikingly familiar to the ones I'm wearing now...even the helmet..._

_**KR: Coincidence...I think not...but why do you look so annoyed?** _

_I hate having my pictures taken...that is why I like to wear masks..._

_**KR: Ah...makes sense...** _

_Dad forced me to take it down for that stupid photo...said something like how he wanted to see the face of his son. Even though I told him over and over that I was not his son but Kylo Ren...! Wait...what...you didn't exist back then!_

_**KR: You are sure?** _

_I'm sure...I think..._

"He hasn't changed that much. Look same clothes, helmet..." remarks Poe and voices aloud what Ben is thinking.

Chewie, Finn and BB-8 look quickly between picture and back at Ben and frown.

Rey looks startled over that revelation and Han stares intently at the picture and back at Ben, as if he is just realizing this now. "Hmm...you're right. I've more pictures..." His father puts away that picture in his wallet to get even more innocent ones.

_Not more pictures!_

_**KR: You can still turn back to the darkside and end this humiliation!** _

_It's not that bad...I think...and maybe a monster will get loose or the danger appear...please..._

 

* * *

 

To Ben's horror's his father doesn't have just one picture to embarrass him with, but his whole wallet seems to be stuffed with them and his father arranges them on the closed lid of the container so everyone can see them, enjoy and laugh at him.

Most of the pictures feature some of his childhood's shenanigans and to Ben's surprise, he is always wearing black clothes and very often his homemade helmet and that was long before he even knew the truth about Darth Vader.

_Really...it was so obvious where I was heading...straight to the darkside! So why didn't my parents try to stop me?!_

_**KR: They must have thought you would grow out of it...I told you haven't matured...** _

Poe grin widely as he can't believe his own luck or had fallen into a container full of credits, Finn has trouble keeping the laughter in, BB-8 chirps-chuckles, Chewie looks mesmerized as if he reliving the past, while Rey looks as awed as if she had stumbled on some forbidden treasure.

_At least she seems to like children...that's good to know..._

_**KR: Dude, you begin dating her first...not knock her up...** _

_I wasn't thinking about that! I was just filing it for future references!_

_**KR: Your mom and dad probably want some grandchildren...** _

_SHUUUT UP!_

* * *

 

"Dad! Why did you keep those pictures?!" shouts Ben in the desperate hope of shutting up Kylo, as this situation is bad enough without him putting some strange ideas in his head.

_I expected mom to do that, but not my grumpy dad! And so many! Couldn't he just chose one?!_

"To remind me, that despite everything that you were...and still are my boy," replies his father grinning and pinches his cheek teasingly as if he is a toddler.

Ben rubs his sore cheek with a stunned look. "But, I thought you said...that you thought I was lost forever to the darkside..."

_I don't understand..._

Something seems to die inside his father when he utters those words. He looks crestfallen until he nods and says: "That was what I feared...so I only had hope...but, if you think this is bad, your mother keeps a traveling bag with a old photoalbum, your old clothes, toys, even your old plushie, Wicket." He smirks. "Do you remember that one?"

"Mom...keeps all of my old stuff...? IN the resistance base?" Ben's jaw drops over that revelation and his father nods sadly.

_I'm not sure if I should be creeped out or touched by it...did mom think I would change back into a innocent child...if she wished hard enough?_

_**KR: You're still a kid in her eyes...and your father's...** _

_I hate that you are right..._

"It's true I have seen that bag. She told me that stuff belonged to her son...that died...many years ago..." says Poe and he frowns confused. "Huh...what do you know, she lied to me..."

_Of course she didn't tell them the truth..._

"She didn't have much hope for me then..." Ben lifts his shoulders to his ears and Rey looks sympathetic and the others look awkward.

_Even she gave up on me..._

_**KR: I will never give up on you!** _

His father pats his back. "There was always a hope. Here, Chewie has a picture of you with your plushie." He takes a picture from Chewie's hand and puts it in Ben's hand, as if that picture would make him feel better.

_Chewie has pictures too!_

"Whatever for?! And when was this picture taken?!" shouts Ben.

_Stop embarrassing me!_

* * *

 

"Awww...he's so precious!" exclaims Rey and pets the head of his sleeping innocent past self who is clutching his teddy bear tightly and sucking his thumb.

_I would rather that she petted modern me instead of the past!_

_**KR: You're never happy...** _

"When you were asleep...obviously..." Poe grins and points the picture which shows Ben as a toddler, sleeping peacefully.

_**KR: I wonder if Luke has some pictures too...it would be the easiest way for him to ruin me. You think, he is some dark force to be reckoned with? Well I've a picture of his innocent self to disprove that!** _

_Sounds horrifying!_

"You couldn't even talk at that time, of course you don't remember when this picture was taken..." says his father apologetic over having taken a picture of him without his permission, instead of apologizing for keeping on humiliating him in front of his new gang.

"Why do you have pictures instead of holos?" snaps Ben at him, as if that was a cardinal sin not to use the newest technology. He crosses his arms and glares at the pictures as if they were a personal insult to him.

"I've holos too, this is just more personal," replies his father, shrugs and Chewie nods in agreement.

Ben shakes his head. "Poe, you better not put any of this on the holonet!" He shouts at Poe, when he sees his evil grin appear.

_**KR: My repudiation would be ruined! Well...even more...** _

"Thanks for the idea!" Poe grins and fistbumbs with Finn who loves the idea and BB-8 chirps happily.

"Youuu..." Ben jumps up and uses the force to get all the pictures into his hands, startling everyone with his sudden outburst, though they should have seen it come a mile away.

"Ben, don't you dare!" shouts his father in a warning tone when he is about to rip them all apart.

Chewie growls at him to stop, Finn looks a bit afraid to see his old darkside temper reappear, Poe and BB-8 shake their head sternly in unison.

"Ben, please," says Rey with clasping hands and he can see it in her eyes, how much she wants her own family photos, that ripping even one of his own would break her heart...or his head...

_I will find her family and revenge her. How dare they leave such a diamond behind?!_

_**KR; Could be for number of reasons...** _

_Well they suck!_

Ben hands his father the pictures back without a single word and sits down again, as if nothing had happened and everyone visible relax, as if a great storm had just passed them by.

"Good boy." Han pats his head as if was well-trained dog instead of a former darkside user and Ben groans and sinks further down in the sofa.

_Why can't any of their parents show up and embarrass them! Oh wait, that's not possible for poor Rey...even though she would probably secretly...or well openly enjoy that...Finn doesn't know his family either, BB-8's parents...? Nah...but Poe's parents, yeah! That would teach him! I can just imagine his mortified look if they would show up here or in the rebelbase and...mwhahaha...!_

* * *

 

"Ben, who are these guys anyway? Your friends?" asks his father him curiously as if Ben had dragged a lot of strangers home, when he gave up on getting him to participate in the conversation about the stories behind photos, as Ben wanted to sulk instead and plan his revenge on Poe for bearing witness and enjoying his humiliation.

_A very, very, very late introduction for them..._

_**KR: Give your dad a break...he was still getting to know you...again...** _

_You're right...I wish this wasn't like twenty years into the future...and how to introduce them?_

_**KR: A rebelscum, a traitor, a violent but powerful woman and stupid droid but with a very important map that must go to the First Order...at all cost...** _

"Rey, Finn, BB-8, all new...friends...except this guy...Poo...I mean Poe." Ben points rudely at Poe in the pilot seat, who frowns at him, before taking the last bite of the food-bar and is about to ask for a sixth one, when his father asks him in a conspiracy like voice: "Is he an enemy?"

_Enemy? Yes we used to be enemies...kind of are still enemies, but different...more like a frenemy...or annoying older brother...like you!_

_**KR: I'm older?** _

_Technically no, as I came first, but you act like it!_

_**KR: I'm wiser than you! And Poe still is my enemy...you all are! Especially you!** _

Han looks between his son and Poe. Even Chewie looks suddenly wary of him, while Rey, Finn and BB-8 looks shocked over that accusation, especially since Ben hasn't answered yet and holds at the moment, their fates or well at least Poe's, in his hands.

_Dad must know that he's isn't really an enemy...I would never allow a real enemy to get this far.. No, this was also our "secret" code for when someone was bullying me...not that ever worked. Like when father showed up once in my school and asked me directly in front of everyone who of my fellow classmates were my enemies. It really scared them that one of the heros of the rebellion were asking ...but not straight..._

_That scare tactic only worked for a small time, as dad was forbidden to ever return to the classroom without mom to supervise him, so he didn't traumatize the other children. But as they were both always so busy, I had to take matter into my own hands, since I wasn't allowed to just drop out of school to become a smuggler...and of course my dark revenge on the bullies only got me into trouble..._

Ben looks between his father and Poe who frowns at him.

_Poe is always getting me into trouble. I nearly ruined the precious picture show for Rey, just because of him!_

_**KR: No your temper did...** _

_Poe can be a real bully...and since I always get into trouble when I try to get rid of bullies myself...I can save myself some headache, by having my father dispatch of him and such a sweet revenge to have him thrown out by his hero! And if mom complains, I will just tell her dad send him away...not my fault...and his mission is over anyway..._

_**KR: That's so mean...even though he is my enemy and can be a bully...but, what about Finn? Him and Poe have become inseparable buddies. Are you sending him away too?** _

_Finn will be happy not having to stay in a ship full of monsters...and then he will be far away from my Rey!_

_**KR: What about BB-8?** _

"Ben...?" says his father.

_Why do you care so much about that stupid droid?!_

_**KR: It was the droid I was looking for...it has the map...** _

_I will take the map out of BB-8 and Finn, Poe and his droid can find another way to the resistance...much safer for them, then staying here..._

_**KR: Right...you're thinking about them...but why do you think Rey wants to stay? She wants to go home, remember?** _

"Ben, I asked you a simple question...is he an enemy?" asks his father firmly.

"Ben, Poe is not an enemy," says Rey sternly and repeats it to his father as if he didn't hear it loud and clear, even though he is in the same room, or maybe she is just trying to convince herself as well, as she doesn't really know him that well. "He's not an enemy."

BB-8 chirps something outraged.

"No, BB-8, Ben isn't an enemy either...not anymore," says Rey and pats the droid which is hopping mad, while Poe looks annoyed at Ben and Finn looks nervous, as if he's going to be send out in an escape pod at any given moment and even though Rey has already given the answer both Chewie and his father are is still waiting for him to answer the question himself, as they are not asking about that kind of an enemy.

"Son?"

_I will find a way...I make a new home for her...I already told you why I can't send her away! Stop confusing me! You always make me feel like I am the bad guy! You are the bad guy...most of time...I think..._

_**KR: It's more fun that way...** _

_At least I will get rid of Poe, okay! He's mean to me! A bully! Like you!_

_**KR: I'm not a bully...** _

_No, you're way worse than that! A bully isn't stuck in your head tormenting you all day!_

"Are you okay, son?"

_I can at least get rid of one bully..._

* * *

 

"He hit me!" Ben whines for a more effect, rubs his eyes with one of his hands and points accusingly at Poe with the other.

His acting works, as his father looks between his beaten up head and Poe and makes the connection Ben wanted.

His nostrils flare up and he stands up to yell at Poe: "What? Why you...?!" His father shakes his fist at him and Chewie growls at Poe like an animal.

_**KR: Rey hit you too...with her staff. And it was way way worse than what Poe did...and she bit you!** _

_She has every right to be angry..._

_**KR: Technically...Poe as well.** _ _.._

_Well, I like her...but not him..._

_**KR: True, I don't like him either...rebelscum...** _

Ben blinks Rey, but she looks far from happy with him having Poe taking the blame for his head injury, even though he technically did it to help her.

"Ben..." says Rey and shakes her head so disappointed in him and Ben instantly regrets his whiney act.

"Uu..." he begins, but before he gets any further, Poe snaps at him: "Yeah, but I did it, because he tried to kill people with the darkside...even though he had gone to the lightside..." Poe shakes his head, as he saw through Ben's plot right away and didn't even try to flee as he had a bulletproof defense at ready.

Han gets an expression as if he had just swallowed a whole lemon and Chewie gets a similar one.

_**KR: Well...that certainly blew up in your face...** _

_Oops...I didn't think of that...he was never supposed to find out about that!_

"What...?!" His father turns to him with a furious look. "Is that true?!"

Chewie glares at him as well.

_**KR: It was nice knowing you...you are so doomed...** _

_I told you stupid Poe would get me into trouble!_

 

_Next up: The "trial..." To be continued in Ben awakens 2: Sleeping Beauty Ben..._

 

_The picture show was inspired by the LilKylo drawings, minus the Darth Vader teddy bear..._


End file.
